Bansenshukai
by Iweavewords
Summary: A three installment cautionary tale about a daughter, an orphan, an urchin, a hero, a friend, an historian, a shinobi and many more things. But most importantly, a tale about love.
1. Preface: Daughter

**Author's note**: some elements of this story are inspired by the Legend of the Five Rings RPG.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

_A diamond with a flaw is preferable to a common stone with none_ \- Chinese Proverb.

In the dimly lighted humid room illuminated only by a dozen white candles, a woman cries out in pain.

It is a well-known pain, for she has endured it before. She knows it will be over soon, but this notion doesn't deter her from gripping tightly the bed sheets that crumple around her. A delicate hand dries the sweat that stains her forehead, but it is also a shaking hand, for it is the first time the young apprentice witnesses what is soon going to become her every day.

The woman in the bed curses before it is all over. It is the only time she allows herself to curse and she knows it is the last time she will curse before her death.

The oldest woman in the room moves to her side, calmly, for she has done this countless times before and she no longer feels the eagerness of the inexperienced. "It is a girl," she announces.

As with her other four daughters, the mother extends her hands to rush the midwife to lay the baby in her arms. The elder already knows what is going to happen next.

The mother shakes softly the baby, enough to make her open her eyes. A familiar feeling overwhelms her. Disappointment. Looking back at her, innocent, her daughter's eyes glow golden reflecting the fire of the candles.

The woman starts to cry. Tears of sadness, of impotence, of despair.

The pupil takes some steps back, uncomfortable. The midwife moves quickly and takes the baby away from the mother. "You will curse your baby if you cry like that on her," she spats.

But the woman doesn't care. She continues crying, hitting the bed by her sides with tight fists.

For she knows it was her last chance, for she knows she is now too old to have another baby. For this was her last hope.

For she wished that this time, when her baby opened her eyes, they would show the same all-white pupil that she has.


	2. Preface: father

**Author's note**: thanks to fanofthisfiction for the nice words!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Hachiro Ikoma was a simple man. As a simple man, he enjoyed the simple things, like a good drink in the company of friends, the mirthful laugh of his daughters or the image of his beautiful wife. As a simple man, he didn't worry as much as his wife and barely ever got carried away by strong feelings like anger or sadness.

That was why he didn't share his wife's concern for the marriage of their daughters. He would usually say 'Sooner or later, they will find a good man'. A man like himself, a simple man.

But for his wife, it was not that 'simple'.

'They have my blood, they are also part of the Hyūga clan. They must find a good man,' she would often say. A man like himself, from a noble or important clan.

Their first daughter, Akemi, was born in the colorful spring, and as such, she was a cheerful child. As soon as she became 12, her mother looked for a suitor in the Hyūga clan, but was negated the proposition. Finally, at age 17 she was engaged to a son of the Kagetsu family, herb sellers known for their wealth. Her mother was satisfied and Hachiro was happy to see their daughter grow beautiful with a good man.

Their second daughter, Chiyo, saw the world for the first time in a rainy autumn day. She soon stood up between her peers for her intelligence and quick wisdom. Once her mother desisted in marrying her into the Hyūga clan, she found a good suitor in the Nara clan. A simple man, so Hachiro was pleased.

Michiko was their third daughter, born in winter. She held the delicacy of such season, and her beauty was praised wherever she went. She was almost married to a Hyūga, but the agreement broke in the end. A young man from the Sarutobi clan spoke of his interest in her and the deal was quickly made. His wife was really overjoyed with the future marriage and he was satisfied.

Their fourth daughter was called Naoko, like his deceased grandmother, and she became soon his favorite. She was graceful and educated – a simple girl. But this simplicity didn't convince the Hyūga clan, and no suitors were proposed for such a child. After long negotiations, her mother agreed to her marriage to the Taketori clan once she grows up.

Their fifth daughter was born under the relentless Sun of the summer and as such, she was active and reckless. They named her Sumi.

"Sumi!" his wife screamed. "Look at this mess! We have guests, help me tidy up!"

Hachiro smiled as his four years old daughter tipped a bag full of marbles in her attempt to tidy up. But his wife was efficient and strict, and half an hour later the house looked flawless and his three daughters, Michiko, Naoko and Sumi stood quietly beside their mother. Sumi was even wearing an expensive yellow dress with a huge ribbon - which would inevitably end up smeared in food by the end of the soiree.

Finally, the door opened, revealing a man and his son.

Hachiro embraced his friend. "Welcome back Sakumo," he exclaimed. "How was that assassination mission?"

The man smiled back. "It went good, or I wouldn't be here."

They laughed. "And who is this young man?" Hachiro asked his friend, who hid behind his big frame a smaller, simpler version of himself.

"That's my son, Kakashi. Say hello, Kakashi." He pushed the little boy from behind his legs and his son bowed politely, mumbling a weak hello.

Father patted his head. He had no sons, although he had always wanted one. But as a simple man, he dealt not much with regret. "Come in, please. This is my wife, Hina, and these are my three youngest daughters, Michiko, Naoko, and the small one pulling her tongue at your son is Sumi. Sumi, don't try now to hide behind your sister," he said, leading them towards the living room area. Although simple, it was spacious and well-lighted, a reminder that they were a well-off family nonetheless.

The men sat around a low table and the women dissapeared, Hina pushing her daughters back in the kitchen area. Father spoke again. His voice was loud, but those who knew him had already grown used to it. "So how old is your son, Sakumo?"

Sakumo looked at the quiet child that had inherited more of himself that he liked to admit. "Turning soon five. They grow fast, don't they?"

"You tell me! My little one is the same age! Where is she, by the way?" Father looked around, realizing now that the usual lively room felt empty without the women of the household. "Sumi!" he belowed.

"Coming!" his wife's voice answered from the kitchen and seconds later the young girl emerged carrying a silver platter too big for her small frame. But the content smile on her face erased the worries of the onlookers. With unsteady steps she reached the small table and placed the food ridden platter. Eleven small dishes containing an asortment of delicacies.

"Mother asked me to bring you this, father's friend. She told me to tell you to enjoy," she explained in all seriousness. She earned a laugh from Sakumo and his son rolled his eyes.

Her father grabbed her and lifted her to his knee. "This is my youngest daughter, Sumi. She is five too."

"I am four, daddy," she corrected him, pointing four chubby fingers at his face.

"Careful, Ikoma, she has the character of a lioness already," Sakumo joked.

Father laughed. With a very different step, this time graceful and trained, the three last women arrived too. The other two daughters carried porcelain cups, which they placed in front of the two men nervously, while their mother carried a luxurious kettle and she served a well infused tea with the art of a master of ceremony. The herbs' smell testified to their quality, but Hachiro didn't think further than that. After all, his older daughter was married to an herb seller.

His daughters left the room, so did his wife, and by the aroma that filled the room some time later, they were preparing dinner.

"So I have been hearing that those Sunagakure ninjas have been giving you hell," Hachiro said.

"Well, I must admit things are not easy lately," Sakumo said, taking a sip from his tea, regretting it was too hot.

"We are at war, after all," Hachiro agreed. "Do you think the conflict will last long? Our forces are suffering a situation we started."

Sakumo paused, then he looked at his son and said, "Kakashi, why don't you go play a bit with Hachiro's daughter?"

The boy begged at his father with his eyes to let him stay. Listening to the adults speak about war was always interesting, but it was something that should not interest a boy his age, his father decided. Despite his son's genious, he was still five years old.

Hachiro understood, for it was a simple problem, and he could help with those. He put his daughter down on her feet and asked her, "Sumi, why don't you show Kakashi your new toys."

Sumi walked to the boy. "We can play marbles," she said.

"A marvelous idea," Sakumo told them and sent them off.

"Come on, I will show you how to play," Sumi said with the mirth in her voice and her step. Her sisters never wanted to play marbles, they preferred to play dolls. Only that the situation would usually degenerate with her being the doll. She was still regrowing her hair from the last game.

However, despite her short age, Sumi understood soon that Kakashi had no interest in the marbles, or in her in general. She pouted for a while, alone in a corner of the room, her favorite marble in her hand, the orange one that looked like a cat's eye. Kakashi had left the living room, taking the door to the inside patio. She had told him not to go, that her mother would be upset. She had been already punished for knocking off one of her mother's flower pots. But he had not listened, as he had not listened to her attempts to find something to play with.

But for a four year old it was hard to hold a grunge for long, specially when you did not have anything better to do, so she ended up following after him. The setting sun casted oranges over the little boy that performed several combat moves in the middle of the patio. His accuracy was already admirable, but to an untrained eye like Sumi's, he just looked funny throwing kicks in the air. Deciding that participating was funnier than watching, she stepped in the patio too, hitched her dress and started to throw her limbs around, in a poor immitation of his moves.

He tried to ignore her, but her wild jumping around was annoying and she almost stumbled over him a few times. "What are you doing?" he ended up asking.

She stopped, panting but smiling. "I am playing like you."

He scoffed. "This is not a game," he said serious, although his pre-pubescent voice did not carry the authority he wished. "I am training."

She sat in the floor. "What is training?"

He rolled his eyes. "Training to be a ninja. Practicing..."

"What is ninja?" she asked.

He wondered how someone living in Konoha could not know yet what a ninja was. He would understand years later that Sumi's life until then had been restricted to her close family, a family of historians and librarians.

"A ninja is... a ninja is someone that protects this village and its villagers..." he trailed off. "You need to be one to understand it."

Sumi pointed at herself. "Can I be a ninja?"

"Well, you would be a kunoichi then," he explained, throwing a temptative kick in the air now that the girl was stitting still.

"A kunoichi?"

"It's how we call girl ninjas." Another perfect punch, he imagined a thousand adversaries coming from all sides. Bam, bam. "But you cannot be one anyways, you need a minimum coordination."

She stood up, little fists at her sides. "I am coordinated!" She kicked the air and failed to fall on her bum. It didn't stop her from resuming her trashing around. "I am going to be a kunoichi!"

"You need to enter the Academy first and they don't let anybody in," he said.

She paused, frowning. He relinquished in the calmness that came with it, but wondered if he had said something wrong.

Finally she smiled. "You seem to know a lot about it. Will you help me to enter the Academy so we can play ninja together?"

He sighed. She had not understood a word he said.

On the other side of the paper walls, Father and Mother did not manage to understand each other neither. Hachiro had gone to fetch a book he wanted to show his old friend, when Hina had intercepted him in the corridor.

"How are things going?" she had asked.

"He is enjoying the evening, darling. You did a great job, thank you," he had answered.

She shook her head. "No, not about that. Do you think he will agree to a marriage?"

Hachiro frowned. He loved his wife dear, but these were the only moments when they would not see things eye-to-eye. "It is too early to talk about that. Why don't we let kids be kids?" he said with a reconciliative smile.

"Sumi does not have the beauty of Michiko, neither the intelligence of Chiyo. She is ungraceful-"

"She is young," Hachiro interrupted her, but she continued.

"She is ungraceful and uninteresting. Finding her a good suitor later, once these things are more... evident, will be hard. Sakumo has made a name for himself. They even compare him to the Sennin. And his son, I have heard he is a genious. This will be a blessing for Sumi and us. We must assure this match now before it is too late," she told him.

Hachiro contemplated his wife, her crimsom full lips, the spotless milky skin, the lucious black hair... She was as beautiful as the first day they met, in his eighteen birthday party, when she offered him a new quill as a present, all shyness and modesty. He thought then she was nothing like the rest of her clan, all haughty and proud. He thought, 'she is a simple girl'. A simple wife.

He kissed her forehead. "I will do what I can," he promised.

She smiled. He lived for those.

Dinner was ready a bit later. The daughters cleaned the long table and served the new plates. Hina had outdone herself. The table was covered in food, enough to feed three times the people gathered around it. Her daughters minus one sat ready and she excused herself to look for the source of her wrinkles.

Sumi had been doing well, meaning she had not yet broken anything in the garden. Of course she was still uncoordinated, but with some explanations, her punches now looked like punches and her kicks did not make her fall. But as the paper door opened to show the face of her mother, barely illuminated by the moon's light, she roundkicked in the wrong direction, and she sent a pot of growing hibiscus flying to the ground, pieces of clay mixing with the delicate flowers. She braced for her mother's outburst; after all, this was a deja vu.

"I'm sorry, mother-" she started to say, hands clasped together, back automatically arching in a semi-bow.

"It's okay," her mother said sweetly. She walked to her and placed a hand in her back guiding her towards the door. "Dinner is ready, kids. Go take your places in the table."

Feeling the discomfort in the other child, Kakashi offered an "I'm sorry" as he walked pass her.

She smiled. "Do not worry. It is only flowers," she said, picking the flowers and burying their roots in another pot. "They can be with the magnolias for now. Maybe they felt lonely."

He did not think further of her words and rejoined the table. He sighed in relief, as he saw that he had been sat next to his father and that Sumi was not by his side. She sat equally next to her father, in front of him.

"Daddy," she called her father, pulling softly at his sleeve. "Daddy," she called again until she had his attention. He looked at her with a gentle smile. "I'm going to be a kunonichi," she said.

"A kunoichi," Kakashi corrected her.

"What he said," she beamed. She could hear her sisters huffing and rolling their eyes, but she had learned to ignore most of their teasing. She had to, if she wanted to survive as the youngest daughter in a family of seven.

Hachiro ruffled her already messy hair. "I see your son has a bit of an influence."

"It was her own idea," Kakashi muttered.

"Well, it does seem like they get along pretty well," Hina pipped in. Sumi hated when her mother spoke as if she was not present.

Sakumo looked uncomfortable for a second and Hina deduced Hachiro must have already spoken to him about her plans. Deciding to play safe her cards, she changed topic, "I heard Kakashi is soon going to graduate from the Academy."

The atmosphere brightened again and the dinner went on. Hachiro enjoyed it mostly, for he knew how to enjoy the simple things in life, like a good drink after a plentiful dinner with a good friend, the mirthful laughter of his daughter as she played 'ninja' with a new friend and the beautiful image of his wife, satisfied with her endless machinations.

He did not share her worry, for he knew that Sumi too, in time, would find a good man, a simple man.


	3. Preface: the Sisters

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Akemi had prepared everything to the last detail; her mother had taught her to always do it so. She had thus spent the last week choosing her dress, her makeup, her hairstyle, the table cloth, where to sit her guests, the date of the event, the dishes, the perfume...

Both families sat in front of each other with her and her husband dominating the table. Everybody seemed to be enjoying the lunch. It was not often that both families met in their house at the same time. Not because of bad feelings, but because of lack of opportunities, of schedules, of invitation.

Next to her sat her mother, who had a melody in her laugh as she maneuvered socially with her mother-in-law. She owed to her the meeting today and she was extremely grateful for that. For she would not be dressed in silk, jade adorning her hair, eating delicacies from another world, if it not have been because Hina had married her to the richest merchant in Konoha.

The maids rushed to get the empty dishes away, soon dessert would arrive. Akemi knew her moment was due, she had planned it like this, rehearsed it like this.

"Father, mother," she said, taking her mother's hand in hers. "Mother, father in law," she called to the other side of the table. "I-We," she corrected, looking at her husband, "have an announcement to make."

Everybody fell silent. It seemed even the birds understood the importance of the situation, for the only sound was the water flowing through the shishi odoshi bamboo water fountain.

"Me too," a tiny voice spoke up, turning heads towards the end of the table, where the kids, including her sisters, had been sat. Far from her mother's control, Sumi stood on her chair to reach the eyes of the guests. "I have decided I'm going to become a kunoichi," she announced.

Hina rose from her chair, and despite her white eyes, all could see the ire in them. She walked to her youngest daughter, took her by the wrist, excused herself and left the room. Feeling awkward, some of her husband's family members started to laugh nervously. Akemi felt the tears threatening to waste her makeup.

Her father then said, "Well, kids' dreams can take unusual shapes." The laughter subsided. "You were going to announce something, my dear?"

Akemi recovered. She had to. That was what her mother had taught her. "We would like to announce that we are waiting a baby," she said.

"Well then, there is nothing that can ruin such good news!" Hachiro cheered with unconcealed excitement.

Akemi nodded. But a weight settled in her heart. She wished her sister had spoiled anything else, her dress, her hair, her table cloth... anything but denying her from telling her mother first.

The lunch was over and the guests started to leave. They would see each other soon, once the baby would be born, so their goodbyes were short. As less people crowded her house, she heard the mockery and the anger she had felt in her sisters' words as they bullied their youngest peer, Sumi.

"You are so dumb," Chiyo said.

Michiko snorted. "You spoiled Akemi's day. Do you always need to be the center of attention?"

"Anyway, she is never going to become a ninja. She sucks at everything she does," Naoko added and the three girls laughed.

Sumi, who had kept silent since she came back with their mother, waited for the adults to finish speaking to leave.

Akemi walked to them and they all smiled petulantly. She knew her sisters looked up to her. She had married first and was waiting a baby. She realized with a small tinge of sadness that those were the ambitions of such young girls. She put a hand on Sumi's shoulder.

"I am so sorry, big sister," she mumbled.

Akemi smiled. "I think you will make a great kunoichi."

Sumi's face lighted up. Her skin was slightly darker than her sisters', but when she smiled golden hues rose to her cheeks. "I will. So that I can protect your baby. My friend Kakashi says ninjas are here to protect the villagers, but I will protect Akemi's baby the most."

Akemi laughed and she let a single tear roll down her cheek. With one last look at her sisters, she rejoined the other adults, feeling more like she belonged with the kids, realizing it was too late to go back.

Hina saw the exchange, but chose to not comment on it. When she came back home, she joined her husband in his library. He was reading a book, taking notes, as he usually did when he was not out meeting with friends or at work. "What Sumi did..." she started, knowing he would pick up the conversation.

"She is just a kid. She has been playing with Sakumo's kid. It is normal she is interested in what the other kids do," he said, his gaze still over the careful calligraphy. A bad movement and he would ruin the page.

Hina sighed. "It's just... I don't know how to take this idea off her head. Since she met that kid is all she speaks about."

"Well, maybe..." He stuck out his tongue, last stroke and it was finished. "Maybe we don't need to take it out from her."

Hina scoffed. "What do you mean? A ninja? No daughter of mine will be a ninja."

He turned in his chair and looked at her. He could see the turmoil in his wife. Hachiro chose to pick his battles. "You come from a powerful ninja family, my dear. What is the difference?"

"A ninja does not make a good wife," Hina argued.

"I think you are in the wrong here, if you allow me. Being a ninja will bring her closer to the family you chose to marry her into. It's all they are. No bloodlines, no old clan. Just good shinobis. Maybe you will be able to win Sakumo over this," he explained. He could not help but to smile. Maybe he had not won the war, but he felt pretty confident about this skirmish.

Hina paused. Usually she tried not to frown, scared of the lines that started to settle in her front head, but now she was so deep in though that Hachiro saw his wife's real age in her face. "Do you think so?" she finally asked.

Hachiro laughed. "I've known Sakumo for more than thirty years. I knew him before I knew you," Hachiro said, bringing her to his lap. "Anyways, even if she ends up graduating from the Academy, it does not mean that she needs to go on missions later. Maybe she doesn't like it in the end." Hina nodded slowly. "But I think it should be you that tells her. I know she seeks your approval."

Hina nodded again and left him alone. He admired his work a moment before to pull out a new sheet and start drawing characters again with the patience only a simple man like himself could have. He only stopped to laugh when he heard Sumi's happy screams from the living area of the house.

He stopped in his tracks. Inspiration struck at the happiest and the saddest of moments, he thought and he took a new page. He wrote in fast, but precise, strokes the title of his book.

_Bansenshukai_. 'All rivers merge into the sea'.


	4. Preface: Mother

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Despite what people could whisper at her back, Hina loved her daughters. She loved them so much that she was willing to do anything just so they didn't have to live what she did. Of course, Hachiro was a loving husband and he would take good care of her until his last breath.

What Hina resented was the humiliation of being negated marriage into the family she aspired to belong to. She had been negated to marry a Hyūga; her gift, her eyes, would finish with her in her family line. It was sacrilegious.

She just wanted the best for her daughters, so she married them off to the best of their qualities. To Akemi, a spring child, she gave a husband that could cherish her like the most delicate flower in a garden. To Chiyo, touched by the autumn rain, she gave a suitor to her intellect. To Michiko, whose skin was the color of the winter snow, she found someone to empower her. Naoko would marry to a lower clan, her simplicity required to be away from the predicaments of the complex socialites. Her fifth daughter would be no less.

Despite her grumbling when she dressed her up to look her cutest, despite her yawning when she tried to teach her manners, despite her disinterest from any of the womanly chores she tried to instill, Sumi would be no less. That meant that if playing ninja for a while would get her in the perfect marriage, the one that would bring her true happiness, then Hina would grit her teeth and play by those rules.

"My mother told me to give you this and say it was my gift to you," Sumi said as she offered the wrapped gift. The Academy day was over and soon parents would flood the entrance. Her mother had specified the perfect moment to give him his graduation gift. She told her what to say, but of course, she did not obey. She also told her to be cheerful, but Sumi did not follow that through. How could she when she was going to lose her friend? The other kids spoke about things she did not understand at first, they made fun sometimes of her obliviousness to the ninja world. He opened the package and found a pretty pouch. "She told me it was the most expensive one."

"Thank you," Kakashi said. He did not understand how such a care-free girl could suddenly look so mournful. He started to leave when she called, "Wait!"

"I actually wanted to give you this," she said. Her palm opened over his and he received a single marble. "It is my favorite one. You never learned to play, so I guess you don't need it, but..."

He remembered it from five months ago; she had said it looked like a cat's eye. He had thought it daft. "Maybe we can play someday," he lied.

"You will be busy being a real ninja, going on missions..."

He put the marble in his pocket. "Then maybe you should graduate too. Or are you planning on being in the Academy for the rest of your life?"

She looked up, a big smile in her face. Then she ran towards her mother, who contemplated them from afar. He did not understand her. His father was there too and he ran to meet them. Many people congratulated him that day, but he only felt the warmth in his chest when his father told him how proud of him he was.

The year and a half, almost two passed in blissful uneventfulness. Or as much as war allowed. Hina was satisfied. Sakumo was happy. Kakashi evolved well as a genin and eventually chūnin. Sumi applied herself dutifully at her studies. Hachiro was joyful that everybody got along.

Hina proposed Sakumo to take care of Kakashi while he was in missions. He denied at first - _'Kakashi knows how to handle himself'_. But Hina insisted - _'No six year old will stay alone at home when I can take care of him. I don't mind cooking for one more mouth'_. He ended up relenting. Hina took it as a first victory. Not only because it played at her favor in her plans on marrying off their children, but also because Sumi's spirits had dropped since Kakashi's graduation.

On that note, she discovered that where Akemi was cheerfulness, Chiyo was intelligence, Michiko was beauty, and Naoko was simplicity, Sumi was passion and will. When she was not training with Kakashi, she was training by herself, and she soon started to have positive remarks from her teachers. And to her surprise, she felt honored and delighted, very close to the satisfaction she felt when she had seen her oldest daughter's marriage.

But even if two years might seem long, their bubble of happiness felt like a heartbeat when it exploded.

"But mom, I don't understand!" six years old Sumi complained.

"There is nothing to understand, Sumi, now help your sisters with the dishes."

Sumi scoffed and turned to her father, who sat still at the dinner table. "Dad?"

He raised his head from his book. "Sumi," by his tone she knew she was not going to like what he was going to say, "your mother is right. Sakumo might have been a dear friend in the past, but remember that we are nothing without honor. I counted Konoha's loses because of his careless actions. You said it yourself once: ninjas work to protect the village. He did not do that when he decided to quit his mission." Sumi's eyes fell to the floor, her arms shaking with rage and extreme sadness. Hina looked over her with satisfaction. "Nonetheless, kids should not pay for their parent's mistakes. And I do not think we should forbid you from seeing a friend during a time of need."

Sumi took the issue as settled, but as she left the next day to go to the Academy, with the idea in mind to pass by her friend's house later, her mother hissed at her, "If you are seen with that Kakashi boy you will be rejected by the whole village and nobody will take you as a real shinobi. Anyways, would you really befriend the son of a traitor? He must be the same, those things run in the blood."

Sumi felt disappointed at how things had come to be. It was the first time life was cruel to her and she was too young to understand most of the things that were going on. Instead of dwelling in the bad moments they were experiencing she focused on the good years, on the comfort of her old bubble.

"Be careful," she had said when he had taken his first chūnin mission.

But she had not dared to move closer as she saw Kakashi leaving the village with his new team. No, they were chūnins and Sumi was still in the Academy by then. It was the first time she felt that the infancy ties were breaking. She had always imagined them being shinobis together. She would even admit that she had already pictured them in the same team, carrying out missions together. But it wouldn't be the case. Selfishly, Sumi had felt her dreams stolen, but she could not direct her hatred towards anyone, for everything had depended on her.

She had come back home with a single idea in mind: training. Her father had helped her to install some dummies to practice in the courtyard, for he enjoyed watching his daughter improve.

"Hello, sweetie," her mother had greeted her. "Did you wish luck to Kakashi?"

Sumi had not said anything.

"You gave him the gift you bought? Did he like it?"

Hina saw the discarded package by the entrance door and her mother's instincts kicked in. "Is everything okay, Sumi?"

"I am just going to train a bit."

Hina had left the towel she was using to dry dishes and kneeled next to her daughter. "Why are you sad, darling? Your friend is going to be okay. He is a great shinobi. Everybody says that he is a genius."

It was then that the little girl started to cry. "Sumi..."

"I am not good... I should stop..."

"Sumi, you are only six. You started later. Don't be hard on yourself. You are the best shinobi of this family." Hina took a shuriken from her daughter's bag. "Please, kunoichi, teach me how to throw it?"

Sumi didn't answer as tears ran down her chubby cheeks. So Hina just threw the shuriken to the nearest tree, already regretting it for the well-being of her precious garden; luckily the shuriken bounced off the tree and fell. That made the young girl smile and Hina smiled back.

"Maybe I will also enroll in the Academy..."

The little girl laughed. "You cannot do that!"

"Why?"

"You are too old!"

Hina had grinned. "Then I will be the best middle aged kunoichi in the Academy!"

"Here, mommy, I'll teach you how to throw it!"

Sumi grabbed at her hair. How could that be the same person that now broke all her dreams?

But maybe Hina was right, for when she met her friend she did not know any longer how to act around him. She tried to cheer him up, but he did not want to be cheered. Sakumo's degradation was also his son's and his character changed. It did not last long though.

It was the first time she was in front of a tombstone. She was unconsciously nervous. She had dressed black, for she had heard that it must be like that when you go to a funeral. Sumi had celebrated her seventh birthday a few weeks ago. Next to the tomb, there was a single person, a boy not much older than her. It was Kakashi Hatake.

No one else showed up for Sakumo Hatake's funeral.

Sumi came closer slowly and placed the flowers in her hand in front of the tomb. She didn't know if she had picked up the right flowers or if it was something you should do in a funeral. The flowers were not pretty like those you could see in the Yamanaka's shop; she had just picked up these flowers from her own house's garden. She didn't own money to buy real ones and nobody could know that she was there.

He kicked the flowers away and left.

She did not tell him that she had graduated from the Academy.

They didn't cross any word that day.

Neither would they ever speak about Sakumo's suicide.


	5. First scroll: lie

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

_Often one finds one's destiny just where one hides to avoid it_ \- Chinese Proverb

It had not taken them long to finish their last mission. It was C-ranked after all. Kakashi resented his teammates for a number of things, and one of them was the way they weighted him down. They were still gennin after all and he was a chuunin. Besides that, Obito was straight stupid and Rin was too nice. They all entered the administrative division knowing their exchange would be fast, but at least they would receive the sought-after money to buy new training equipment.

It was indeed fast - as usual -, but even behind a mask, Kakashi could not hide his surprise as they received their new mission, another C-ranked. "Are you okay?" Rin, forever perceptive asked, but he ignored her. Minato realized something, but did not comment on it, he just smiled to himself as he said his goodbyes to the people behind the desk.

It was only once they were already outside, the summer sun heating the top of their heads as lunch time approached, that Kakashi threw an "I forgot my wallet in the office" comment and left them.

Obito snorted in derision. "What an idiot! What did he take out his wallet for?"

Rin shook her head and Minato laughed softly, but nobody cared to explain him the obvious lie. Instead, the three of them continued towards the ramen shop, their stomachs grumbling after a job well done.

Kakashi stopped two seconds after crossing, for the third time that day, the doors to the Hokage's office. He was not there; he was probably enjoying a meal, as most of the villagers were doing right now. He had to stop to let his eyes adjust to the difference in brightness, from the outside, to the softly dim room. The huge window behind the desk drew only the shadows of the people sat in front of a sea of papers and rivers of ink. He moved towards the tiniest of the silhouettes, but he did not say anything, as he stood, observed by the people there. He did not know what to say as he realized she was something he had forgotten and found by mistake.

Her words also shied at her throat, her head held low to hide the blush in her cheeks. They were not chubby anymore, he noticed, her face taking in the shape of adulthood.

A man cleared his throat. As everybody else on the table, he was closer to his elder years than to his youth. "Sumi, you can take now your pause if you want. Be back in thirty minutes."

She bowed her head towards the man and left the quill in her hand back in its support. As she walked around the long table, she felt the pressure of too many eyes on her and she quickened her pace. She walked past him and left through the main door. He felt frozen, a spectator of something alien to him.

"Well? Can I help you?" the man asked him pointedly.

He did not even shook his head in answer, he just ran after her.

It was not hard to find her; she had just stopped outside the building to take a deep breath, to clear her mind.

"Sumi?" he asked and he was pleased his voice did not falter. It was two years he had not seen her - or was it three? He took in her changes; her hair was still long, but it did not frame her face anymore as she held it tightly braided; she still wore a dress, a more practical one, more ninja like; her shapes had changed too, but he did not dwell much on that; her face was thinner and the still faint sharpness of high cheekbones started to trace a resemblance with her mother.

He feared she might not answer when she smiled. And that smile had not changed, bringing back a sense of familiarity. "Hi, Kakashi." Her voice was softer, more paused, less shrieking. Seeing how none of them found anything else to say, she took the lead. But he found out that her behaviour was changed too; who would have thought that the girl that had forced friendship on him would have turned timid. "Your new team seems nice," she said.

He did not want to think now about that; he had too many other questions in his mind, so he just answered a monotone "Yes, they are ok." He saw the trouble in her face, the soft frown. She mistook his cold answer. It had seemed impossible, but the awkwardness between them intensified.

"I-I need to have lunch. I must return in thirty minutes, and Komori-sensei is pretty strict about time..." she told him and he noticed she held onto a little lunch bag. He nodded, trying to mask his disappointment. She gulped and decided to be the braver of the two. "We can share if you want," she offered.

He was not hungry anymore but he accepted. Behind the Academy, close to where they used to play as kids during their breaks, there was an unclaimed fallen tree branch, in which they sat. Hina had prepared her some rice balls and an assortment of raw vegetables cut in perfectly symmetrical sticks. She offered him a rice ball and he took it out of courtesy. "How did you end up working in the Administrative branch?" he asked before to eat.

She chuckled. "I'm not working. I am an apprentice. My father put me there. I have been there for a year, so now they let me help out at the desk," she explained, her words laced with a tinge of sadness.

"So you are not a ninja anymore?" he asked.

"I am not going on missions, no. I don't have a team neither," she said.

"Why?"

She sighed. She had just lost her appetite too. "I don't know..."

"I thought you wanted to be a kunoichi. You always said that," he said.

She wanted to blame him, to tell him that when they stopped seeing each other she lost her incentive to be a ninja, that she lost her faith on them. But then, she would be lying to him, just as she had tried to lie to herself. "I come from a family of historians. It honors my father and my clan to do this," she finally admitted.

"Did your mother-?" Forbid you, he thought.

"No," she interrupted him.

He sensed her discomfort, but ignored it. "That doesn't answer my question. You don't want to be a ninja anymore?"

She wondered if he had come just to bother her. He had changed too apparently. "No," she said and she believed her words. "But enough about me. What about you? What have you been doing? Your teacher looks cool."

She smiled and in the name of nostalgia, he entertained her with his stories. He spoke about Minato mainly, about some missions that had marked him but not enough to be painfully remembered, about his techniques. She drank his words avidly, answering with surprise, excitement, awe or fear accordingly. She would continue to seek him for those stories later on, but she did not know that yet. Hearing him speak would make her relieve those adventures she had been denied of and it blew wind to a fire she believed extinguished. If only she had knew then the consequences of his words...

The thirty minutes passed in a heartbeat and she soon had to say goodbye to him. They did not talk about meeting again.

Komori ignored the unreasonable smile in her face the whole afternoon and the way she seemed absent, her eyes fixed in another moment in time - past or future, he did not know. He was not a man to worry about gossip or children's play. And she worked faster than any other day, so he could not complain.

The moon was sharing the sky with the sun when she arrived back home with her father. "Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes," her mother screamed from the kitchen as she walked into her room. She paced six times around her bed before to drop to her knees and pull out a wooden box from under it. She opened it quickly, taking in her hand the kunai, then the scrolls, then an old picture. She traced her fingers over this one. Her mother had thought so funny to have a picture of her with Kakashi when the boy clearly did not want to. He looked as pissed as a five year old can. Herself, whoever, she beamed at the camera. When had she lost that happiness?

She put everything back in and went to have dinner with her family. They were only four at the table. Her sister Michiko spent now more time with her family in law than with them. She was only sixteen, but Sumi knew she would marry soon and they would only see each other twice or three times per year.

"We have a lunch with the Aburame clan in three days. I hope Sumi can be present," Hina said.

"I don't see why not," Hachiro answered over his soup. "She has been working the whole week, she can take a day off."

Sumi played to make ripples on her soup with her spoon. Her mother was running out of clans to make her visit. Nobody spoke much during dinners anymore. As soon as it would be over, her father would retreat to his room, to continue on his work. He did not dare say it, but he was afraid he might not end it before to die. Her sister Naoko would follow around her mother. They kept together the house spotless. Sumi had been relieved from her house chores when she had started her apprenticeship, although she tried to help as much as she could.

Tonight she felt an overwhelming tiredness, so she just retired to her bedroom. Without control of her emotions, she felt a rage she had forgotten in her chest. She took the box out again. She took the kunai, flipped it around in her hand, remembering the movement, the weight of it, the dangerous of its shape. She waited that everybody was sleeping to sneak back into the interior patio of her house. She plucked a leaf from one of her mother's flowers - she did not remember anymore its name - and placed it in her hand. Then she tried to focus her chakra and smiled when she realized she had not forgotten about that.

She did not know what it made it such an awesome sensation, the training itself, the secrecy of it, the memories it brought back? She only knew it gave her back a happiness lost, so she did not stop that night.

Soon her solitary trainings became a habitude, an addiction, and as she needed more, she also had to switch places. The patio was too small, too open to onlookers. Instead, she would escape to the calmness around her family's shrine, just a couple of trees surrounding the red and golden building where her ancestors rested in ashes. And yet, the walls around her clan's district (no more than a few houses and a big library) felt more like a prison than never.


	6. First scroll: truth

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Their first meeting was awkward. None of them expected the other to be there.

"That is my spot, you know," the older girl had said. Sumi had looked down at the tree stump where she had sat almost every week to observe Minato train his team. Soon Rin and Obito - as she had learned were their names - would try again to pass their chūnin exams.

She sat up quickly and bowed ashamed. "I am sorry."

The other girl smiled, moving a hand in a nonchalant way. "It is no problem. I can take this one." Sumi saw with admiration how the teenager rooted out another stump and placed it next to hers. They both fell in silence as they observed the sparring session. Sumi felt uncomfortable and involuntarily held her breath.

"Which one is your friend?" the other girl suddenly asked. Sumi blushed. Kushina smiled. "The blond one is my boyfriend; we are going to dinner together after. I hope we go to the new ramen place. Have you already been to?" Sumi shook her head. "It looks good. I have checked their prices and is also cheaper than the one in..." she continued blabbering. Sumi soon understood that she did not have to speak much to get along with Kushina, and she liked that. She also envied her beauty; she knew it was the type of beauty her mother considered classless, but to her it was striking. She was strong too. And brave. Sumi decided Kushina was the kunoichi she had wanted to be when she was kid, so she automatically accepted when Kushina proposed to train her.

It was an addition to her own sessions at night, but also a way to pass time while they both waited for team Minato while they were out on missions. Sometimes they would still watch them train together, waiting before each of them parted, one to her lover, the other to her friend.

Kushina's fighting was fierce, which matched perfectly Sumi's outbursts. Juggling her work at the office, training with Kushina and practicing alone was no easy feat, and soon Komori started to complain to her father that she took naps during administration duty. Her father, who seemed himself more tired than usual, defended his daughter as best as he could.

Kushina liked her new apprentice and friend too. Her unfamiliarity with some of the ninja aspects of life was bemusing. Like that day that Sumi had asked her how to make a summon pact. She had laughed to tears when Sumi had explained her how she had chased all the cats around her clan's district to dress them up and tried to make them their summoning animals. Kushina knew though why the sudden interest in summoning techniques. As with everything with Sumi, the answer laid in Kakashi. The boy had just acquired his ninken, cute puppies that followed him around sometimes.

Of course, what Sumi had not tell her is how that day she had drifted towards the forest area outside of her clan's walls, drawn by a faint meowing sound that had nothing to do with the shrieks of the stray cats she had gathered. Forgetting her task at hand, she followed the sound, the meows becoming a yowling.

Focusing, she found the source of the noises. A tabby cat cried, pinned to the ground by a trap closed over his back leg. She approached, but he hissed. It was clear he did not see anymore difference between good intentions and the responsible for his pain. Sumi braced herself and she kneeled besides him, hands to the trap which would not open easily. She clenched her jaw as the cat's claws dug in her skin. She gathered chakra as Kushina had taught her to pry the trap open. Tears clouded her vision, but she felt no more the claws and she knew the cat had ran away. She stopped there her summoning endeavors.

"It was then that I knew that we would be together and... Are you listening?" Kushina snapped her fingers in front of her face. "You ask me a question and then you do not listen," she complained. "Anyways, my advice is to be sincere. To tell him how you feel."

Sumi blushed at her words. "What if he laughs at me?"

A spark shone behind Kushina's eyes and she raised a fist. "Then we will kick his ass together, of course."

That earned a smile from her apprentice and Kushina felt accomplished. Sumi would turn twelve soon and she was experiencing the insecurities and doubts that started at that age. Other girls had started noticing boys earlier, but it was not until Sumi overheard other girls speaking about Kakashi in that way, that she put her feelings in question.

"I heard Rin likes him too," she said. It was a lie, but she had made her assumptions based on observations and a foreign new sentiment: jealousy. For Rin had everything she wished for herself; she was an accomplished kunoichi, she went on adventures with Kakashi, she was pretty and kind. It was the thief that had stolen her childhood dream, the opponent to defeat.

"Well, you are both girls. You can speak about it. Why don't you ask her what she feels?" Kushina asked.

Sumi nodded slowly, her eyes on the training fields. She would never do that. Not because she did not want to, but because life would get in the way, and by the time she got a break, Rin would be no more, a ghost to haunt her dreams also in death.

It all started for her that night, when she came back home. Dinner was not ready for the first time in her life. The quietness in her house was asphyxiating as she walked through the empty living room towards her father's room. The light of the candle made the shadows dance in the paper walls. Hachiro Ikoma lay in bed, his fingers enlaced with his wife's. Sumi took a place besides her sister and tried to accept a truth she could not: her father was dying.


	7. First scroll: give

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

In any other point of her life, the scene before her eyes would have hurt her deeply, but as she experienced an unprecedented grief over the only person that had always supported her and loved her unconditionally, she felt numbness.

She had sought Kakashi after work in a trance despite remembering he had told her he would not be available that day; she sought him not to pour her troubles, but more to escape going back home. As she looked at her father, she could not help but to notice him withering before her eyes, and it pained her. However, when she arrived as Team Minato finished training, she saw her friend leave the grounds with Rin and she didn't dare to follow. She had no longer the strength in her to fight that battle, she decided. So she went back home and smiled with melancholy at her father as he scribbled frantically in a parchment, the sound of the quill scratching on the paper interrupted by his intermittent fits of cough.

Kakashi was growing restless and a tad angry. "She won't like it," he kept on repeating.

Rin was getting tired. If he did not like any of her suggestions, why had he asked her for help?

"I like this head band," she said, holding the piece of cloth in front of him. "It has a nice color and it can be practical."

She saw the negative in his face before he spoke. "She always keeps her hair braided. I don't think it will be useful."

"You know, sometimes gifts don't need to be useful." She half-smiled; she was also losing her patience. It was more than two hours since they started this quest.

He shook his head. "She will think it's stupid." 'She will think I am stupid' he meant.

"I am sure she will be happy you thought about her," Rin said shyly. She had just wanted to spend some time with him, know him better. Now she felt she had learned more about his friend Sumi that about him.

He shook his head again. That sounded not enough.

They ransacked two more shops before they decided to call it a futile search. She had tried to lower his expectations to no avail. No item in Konoha was worth of a gift for Sumi, she realised. Things were always too girly, too useless, too hollow, too presumptuous...

He went to bed disappointed, but sleep evaded him as he racked his brain for that elusive idea in the back of his mind, the right thing he had been chasing the whole afternoon. He found it not until the next day.

For some unfounded reason, he felt his excitement dampened by nervousness. Why was she not here yet? She was always there, looking from afar as he trained, or playing around with that airheaded girlfriend of his sensei. He kicked the grass with his foot, it had yellowed slightly under the summer Sun and the little flowers that had colored the field a few months ago were now gone. He was about to leave, when he turned to the sound of dragging footsteps.

Sumi's hair was loose, hiding her lowered face, and he would have admired the look if he could not see the redness in her eyes. Had she been crying? He was lost at words. Nobody had taught him what to do when girls cried. He would have asked Rin yesterday, had he known. "Are you okay?" he finally asked, after they stood in front of each other in silence for a while. She nodded slowly. "You don't look like-"

"My father is dying," she suddenly interrupted him and his eyes widened. He remembered Hachiro somehow fondly.

"What?"

"He is sick. My father is sick," she explained.

"We should take him to a doctor," he replied. Was he not making sense? He was shocked.

"A doctor already came home. He said he could alleviate father with his concoctions, but that the disease that ate at his lungs could not be cured." Tears danced at the corner of her eyes and he thought so unfair that such a tragedy attacked a good man like Hachiro.

He did not wait for the tears to fall. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her with him. She almost tripped behind him as her feet tried to follow his pace. "What? What are you doing? Where are we going?" she kept on repeating, but her words fell on deaf ears. They pushed their way through busy streets, with people calling back at their rudeness, and empty streets where the only sound was their frantic footsteps and ragged breath. She could not see his face, but after the years passed, she could picture his set expression, his focused eyes. She liked to imagine the rest of the face behind the mask, but she knew whatever image her mind drew, it would fail to measure to the original.

After last long strides, they stopped. She looked up in front of her at the huge gate, one hiragana on each door, writing 'retreat'. Was that what she needed? She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You always said you wanted to see the world outside these doors," he started, "well, let's go then." He pushed the door open just enough so they could fit their slim frames and waited expectantly for her. She wriggled her hands. She looked worried and he tried to not falter in his resolve.

"But my mother..."

"We will be back before night time," he promised her.

She hesitated. Any other time she would have stormed off that door before him, but now it felt like treason to her father. Maybe she should be with him, by his side... As she raised her head, she realised she was alone and she rushed without a thought outside, after Kakashi, who strolled down the path to who-knew-where.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know," she said, looking around her, taking in how the world outside looked exactly the same, but felt so different. "Why are we doing this?"

He looked confused for a second, then smiled behind his mask. "We need to hurry if we want to be on time. I race you," he exclaimed and before she could protest, he took off at an unmatchable speed. She had no choice but to follow, enjoying the way the wind caressed her long hair and dried her tears and sorrows.

Tsuma was a small village at about thirty minutes from Konoha - which they travelled in fifteen. Despite its modest size, it could boast of several inns, bathhouse, theater, geisha house and other services. It was a busy city, but today it was specially crowded. The streets were decorated with flags and flowers of shiny red and orange colors, food stands adding to the scenery. With charismatic voices, they called the public to their businesses. The smell was enough to make her mouth water.

"What do you want to do first?" he asked her.

She could not help the grumbling in her stomach. When was the last time she had eaten? Appetite had avoided her since the bad news. He bought food for both of them in several stands, little bites that stole from her the first smile. Street shows made her laugh and he observed more her reactions than the dancing dragons. Or where they lions? Anyway, she looked in awe faced to the two-people costume that moved at the rhythm of drums.

"I want to try that," she suddenly said while they strolled down a street. He followed her pointed finger to the old fortune teller knelt in front of a low table, static in the middle of the towering stands. He nodded and waited against a wall, observing how she sat eagerly in front of the old lady. He felt a mild curiosity towards their exchange. He tried to read her expressions, but could not decipher what they were speaking about. Their dialogue ended when Sumi placed three coins in the table and she bowed to the medium before returning to him.

"What did she say?" he asked shortly.

She smirked. "I cannot tell you. It would bring me bad luck."

He was content with her mood change, so he did not push his luck further. Food stands were replaced by game stands around a big square and couples cheered on each other to win the displayed prizes. "Do you want to try?" she asked him, eyeing a shuriken throw stand.

He walked to it, paid his coins, and with his usual disinterest, won the prize to his choice. Next to him, a loud happiness shriek made him turn his head towards Sumi that had managed the same feat. When had she improved so?

"What do you want?" the stand owner interrupted his musings, his tone less gentle with him than with the cheerful girl. He peaked at her. She had chosen a hair barrette of elaborate motives. He wondered if it held any real monetary value, but she seemed content as she secured it high on a ponytail and started braiding her hair down. He knew she did not see the practicality on such a length, but her mother forbid her from cutting it short. He grabbed an object in front of him without a word, his prize chosen, and handed it to her as she neared the end of her mane. She used the ring offered to close her braid. She muttered a shy 'thank you' and he ignored her as he moved away from the square. She followed him in silence. Time had run faster than usual, she thought, for the sun started to fall low on the horizon.

She wondered if he had ever visited this village before, for it looked like he knew the path he was following, leading her away from the mob. The little streets that he chose were sloped and her legs ached as they marched up. His silhouette was darkened by the sun in front of them, and when he moved, it temporarily blinded her each time. Dreadful thoughts started to room her mind as they reached the summit of the hill. No more buildings around them, they had a view over the celebrating village. With the first loud crackling of fire, those thoughts left her, and she was filled with amazement at the fireworks that draw shapes over their heads, at their colors and their fizzling sound up and loud explosive down.

He had sat down in the ground, and she imitated him. "What are they celebrating?" she asked in between the noises.

"The summer," he answered simply.

His quietness made her uncomfortable, so she whispered, "It's beautiful."

He dared then to ask a question that bugged him every time he looked at her, "Why did you decide to not be a kunoichi anymore?"

She casted her eyes down, to the blades of grass caressing her legs. "I don't think I was ever fully one."

"You are avoiding the question," he reprimanded her.

"I don't know why, I just know when." She shied, moving her head opposite from him, to a calm point in the horizon free from the fire. It blueness had turned purple, a reminder of the nearing of the end of the day. "After your father... after you left."

He frowned. "I never left."

"You did for me. You changed-"

"You did too," he interrupted her. Was she blaming him? He felt the start of anger.

"I did. I lost my motivation," she confessed. An admission that sounded stupid to her own ears.

"Then your reason to be a ninja was wrong. It is not protecting the village enough motivation? To carry out Konoha's will?" he scolded her. "I believed in you when you told me you wanted to be a kunoichi to protect those around you, when you said you would surpass me, when you imagined our team..." His words died out, no match against the ruckus over their heads.

She felt a knot in her throat but there were not tears wetting her eyes. They were just set in an unfocused point, seeing for the first time in years a glimmer of truth.

Silence fell between them as they admired the sky and the last fires adorning it as an accessory, creating new sun shapes to keep company the setting one.

He cleared his throat, "Happy birthday."

Her eyes widened and she gaped. He had been right. She had forgotten it. She hid the tear that threatened to escape her. She had been crying so much around him... although this time, happiness filled her heart as she wiped it away with the back of her palm.

They made it back just in time. As she opened the door to her house, a chorus of 'surprise' welcomed her. Her living room was full of familiar faces and she laughed. Her mother and sisters, Akemi and her husband, their little son holding both their hands, her father standing with all of them, looking healthier than he felt. She felt sad and happy at the same time, and she understood that like life and death, these two tended to go hand in hand, like give and take.


	8. First scroll: take

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Father had ups and downs. Some days, he would go out for a stroll with Hina, enjoy a drink with his work friends, some days he would stay locked in his room working, or bedridden. Sumi learned to cope with it; she would share both, relish in his company when he felt invigorated, care for him when he would cough until spiting blood. Anyways, her time with Kakashi was now limited as conflicts escalated between the ninja villages. Her work had also multiplied tenth fold. Paper work was time consuming, with so many skirmishes to organise, so many reports to classify, so many deaths to count. So when the moment arrived to say goodbye to a pillar in her life, she was unprepared.

"Come with me, I need to show you something, my child," her father had told her one good morning. She helped him to a cane that he started to need to move around. As if enjoying a unique moment, he led her slowly around their house with a smile. She saw what had become her hidden training grounds, although lately she was too tired to use them as often as she used to. The family shrine she had never visited opened easily with a push from her weak father. She wondered if it had always been unlocked and why she had never tried to go in. Did her mother ever forbid her from it or was it just out of an inherent respect?

"Come darling," her father urged her, and she realised she had been standing by herself outside, marvelled. Inside it was luminous despite the lack of windows, a hundred candles shone with an ethereal light. The room was smaller than she expected, but it might just be the towering statues gave off that feeling of space occupied. She studied the carved faces, the almost alive expressions.

"Who are these people?" she asked to herself.

"These are our ancestors, Sumi," her father answered. "There is so much you have not been told, my summer child." He let the cane aside and knelt down in front of an altar so small, she had not noticed it before. Their family's mon on a burgundy cloth, a wooden torii arch with a lion head shape, served as a mantle on it. "You are an Ikoma nonetheless, and I am old and without a male heir. That's why you are here." His hands lost the trembling that the disease forced upon them as he lit two more candles and an incense stick.

A whoosh of air coming from nowhere threatened to blow off the candles, but they just changed colour, turning a vibrant blue. She gasped as she saw the transparent shapes coming out the statues, - her ancestors, those she had never heard about, - coming to visit them at her father's call. He turned his head to look at her, adding to the expectant eyes of the ghostly figures.

"This is our legacy, the Ikoma family duty to the clan." He rose with difficulty. "We are not fighters like the Matsu branch of our clan. But battles cannot be won with force alone. That's why we are advisors, strategist, historians... We keep alive the wisdom of our ancestors, let them guide us. And I feel in these times that loom above us, we will need their advice more than ever."

"Who is this kid, Hachiro?" a deep manly voice boomed in the shrine. It belonged to a bearded man, big in constitution, porting a fan to his hip, and Sumi wondered what relation he had to her.

"This is my daughter, Komori-sama. She is here because I fear I have not much time left," Hachiro explained and Sumi placed a hand in his arm.

"Father, don't say that."

He laughed weakly. "I am afraid is so, my dear."

"But for us, death is nothing to fear. We are lucky to live on our descendants' memories," a woman of wrinkled skin and big eyes added. She reminded Sumi vaguely of her sister Naoko in the way of speaking and moving.

"Sumi," Hachiro took her by the arms to look at him. "Whenever you need me, I will be there for you. You just need to come here and call me. Make a little incense offering so I can find easily my way back to you and I will be by your side."

She started crying. "But father-"

Hachiro embraced his daughter. He did not want to show her that he was also scared. "Everything will be okay. I will always protect you. We don't have to say goodbye."

She sobbed against his chest. She was not ready to say goodbye. She would never be ready to part from him.

But fate had other plans and Hachiro's health deteriorated fast. He could no longer leave his bed, no longer his quill traced beautiful characters in the paper, despite his efforts. His book was almost finished though, he knew the end was near. They all knew. Hina had long stopped bothering Sumi with marriage offers. Despite her best efforts to look undefeated by the tragedy, her daughters could hear her cry over the flowers in her garden.

Sumi wondered where her mother and sisters were when she came back home that day. It was unusual that they left the house with Hachiro alone. As she walked to her room, exhausted after a long day of work, she heard a loud crash and she feared the worst when she realised its direction. She ran to her father's room, and found him sprawled in the floor.

"Father!" she exclaimed, as she helped him to his bed. His skin had greyed and his hair was unkempt. She loathed seeing him like this.

"Sumi, my dear. Can you do me a favour? It's important," he told her, gripping tightly her sleeve.

"Anything, father."

"You see that box?" he pointed top of the wardrobe in front of which she had found him. "You must get it for me."

It was a high spot, and she had to use a chair to reach it, and force to pull it out between the other items in the shelf. Finally, the golden lacquered box came free and she offered it to her father. He opened it eagerly, twisting the key that closed it with shaking fingers, and she saw its contents: a single mask. But she gulped. A Matsu mask. A piece of art to some, a bad omen for those that encountered it in the battlefield. It was a half mask, meant to leave visible the eyes of the valiant warriors wearing them, to show their rage to the enemies. A lion mask.

"Father..."

He pushed the mask towards her. "You need to take this mask and place it in front of your grand-mother's statue in the shrine, please."

"Father, why?"

He started to cry. "I have been so wrong, my child. Help me to undo my mistake." He started to cough violently.

"I don't understand," she said, the mask heavy in her hands. "A Matsu mask..."

"There is much you don't know, my dear." Cough. "The Matsu family and our family, we are the same."

"I know, father, we are one clan, but this is-"

Cough. "Women born in the Matsu family become warriors; men become part of the Ikoma family. We are the same family, Sumi. Your grand-mother, my mother, she was a Matsu, but I was her only child, a son. She died in battle, before she could have other children. Now that I see you, you remind me so much of her... you have the same fire in you. You are a warrior too... My little Sumi, the girl that wanted to play ninja..."

Sumi frowned, her tone serious. "Why do you have this, father?"

"Please, do not judge me. I could not bear to see the disappointment. I just-I was so young at that time..." His chest shook with his coughing and Sumi saw the red in the bed sheets. "I hid her mask, a part of her soul, her tie to this world... I made a mistake. You need to go to the shrine and put the mask on her statue so she can cross back." Red wide-open eyes stared at her as he took her hand. "Promise me this. I am too weak to do so myself. Unmake my mistake so my spirit can leave in peace."

Sumi started to cry. "Father, no."

"Go Sumi," he hissed before his coughing turned into gasping for air. Seeing his distress, she rushed outside to fetch a glass of water in the kitchen, but when she stepped back in, it slipped from her hand and water and glass mixed at her feet. She screamed and ran to his side, but Hachiro had already drawn his last breath, the lion mask gripped tightly in his right hand.


	9. First scroll: life

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

They were not the only ones celebrating a funeral that day. War had made it so. A lot of faces were also absent from Hachiro Ikoma's funeral. Some had perished before him, like his old friend Sakumo, some were busy with missions, like Kakashi.

Sumi lived the whole ordeal in a trance. A stupor that had started that night after work when she had been assigned an important mission which she had yet to accomplish. She found it hard to function, she did not sleep, eat or talk. Not different from her mother. Hina had become a ghost of herself behind closed doors, a testament to her true feelings behind the cold mask she used to wear in public. However, when she crossed the threshold, she was able to slip back in the image of the perfect woman, untouched, ever servant, paused and calmed. Sumi detested it and at the same time, wished she could be the same.

She felt the pitiful stares of people, at work, in the street... Those people, they could not understand. Her sisters tried to move forward, tried to help her to keep living with normalcy. It angered her. Was she being the one irrational? Maybe yes, but how could she avoid her father's death. Kakashi was not there neither; he was now a jōnin or he was soon to be one, she heard. She sometimes tried to imagine what he would tell her. He had lost his father too.

But he was not there, and she felt alone. And while tears would not come anymore to wash her eyes, the knot in her throat, the pain in her chest, would stay.

Hachiro had died and nobody cared because they were at war. That damned war that kept her alone, that plunged her into a spiral of dark thoughts.

She finally decided to go back to work. Her mother had asked her to. 'Do not waste your life' she had told her. Sumi did her chores almost mechanically. She knew they were sending people, good ninjas, to their death; they all knew. She wondered if Kakashi was well, a fleeting thought before a scroll caught her eye. One word, more precisely: Matsu. Without logic or reason, she slipped it through the folds of her dress. She had no purpose to do so; maybe it was because it reminded her of her father, or because she felt antipathy towards the family that neglected him.

Dinner was peaceful, each of the three women remaining in the house engrossed by their miseries, as they shared a perfectly cooked soup that held no taste for them. It was all well, until Hina spoke up, her eyes unmoving from the steaming soup, "We will have Akimichi Fukuda and his son tomorrow for dinner. Sumi you should be present so maybe try to leave a bit earlier from work so you can prepare."

Sumi's bawled fist hit the table, making her sister yelp and pour her soup in the mantle. "How can you keep pretending he is not dead?" she screamed. "All of you!"

"He would have wanted us to move on," her mother spoke slowly, collected. "He would have wanted you to find a good man too."

She rose, knocking her chair back, not caring to pick it up. "No! No! You are wrong mother. He would have wanted me to be happy. He always did." Her anger contained her tears. "He would have wanted me to become the girl I need to be, to walk my own path."

"I do this for you," her mother pleaded.

"I don't need you to," Sumi said and walked away. She paced alone in her room, silence broken only by her mother's sobs coming from the garden.

Trying to tidy up to calm her nerves, a paper slipped from her bag. The stolen scroll between her fingers, she realised the stupidity of her action. It was an enlistment letter to a Matsu Himeko. Her fingers traced then the lion mask on her bed. She had yet to honour her father's wish, but she dreaded going back to the shrine, where his statue had been placed and his spirit rested. It was stupid; maybe they were right about something: she needed to move on. Taking the mask, she left her room, crossing her sister Naoko briefly and sneaking out. In her way to the shrine a familiar sound caught her attention. A soft cat mewling.

She thought she recognised him. The same tabby cat that had scratched her dearly when she had pried him free from a trap. What was he doing here? Without a second wait, he darted off. "Hey, wait," she whispered and followed. She left her house grounds, and ran through the clan's district. She tried to be sneaky, but following the cat while doing so was a feat. However, the night cloaked her shape as she travelled towards an unknown area. Without sense of direction and without stopping to check where she was stepping into, she finally chased him to a dark building barely illuminated by candle light. The cat scurried behind a humongous statue but as he circled it, the lights flickered blue and he came through the other side as a lion.

Sumi gasped and fell back. In front of her, a spirit woman of savage beauty, the lion behind her, looked at her expectantly.

"That mask does not belong to you," she said.

Sumi glanced at the mask still at her hand. She bowed in apology and respect. Was this her grandmother? "I am sorry. I just came to give it back."

The spirit scoffed. "The dead, we have no use for such mask."

"But my father-"

"The living do." Her voice was authoritarian. A natural leader.

Sumi raised her head. "What do you mean?"

The woman smiled. "You know what I mean. That idea you have been toying with, that you have tried to bury as an impossible. I am telling you to do it."

"But I am not a-"

"Are you a warrior or not? Are you a ninja?"

Her last words echoed as the wind piped in and the blues turned to oranges and she was left alone in front of the imposing statue. Even in its size, she decided it did not capture perfectly the strong character of the woman it represented.

Running with purpose, she reached her room and tugged the mask under her pillow before to go to bed. She had big plans for tomorrow.

First, she called in sick at work. No need to work anymore anyways. Then, she went to the herbalist shop, lucky that her sister or her brother-in-law were not there. Then she headed to the public baths, unwrapped the herbs and applied them to her hair as the seller had instructed her to. She waited and waited until she saw the first results, then she waited some more. Finally, happy with the result, she rinsed her hair. Gone was the jet black, testament to her mother's ascendance. Now, her long hair shone blonde, almost white. She cut it too, short to the shoulder, something she had always wanted to do, maybe just to spite her mother. She changed clothes and threw hers away. She ate the lunch pack her mother had prepared her with disinterest. Then, just as she had planned, she went back to her clan's district, but headed instead to the Matsu family grounds. In awe, upon presentation of the stolen scroll, she was let in the training grounds. The lion paw's banners undulated with the soft breeze. Around fifty women, of golden hair and eyes, were gathered there, speaking casually waiting for instruction.

"Are you new too?" a voice spoke behind her. It belonged to a petite girl, barely a few years older. "I could see it by the way you look. No offense, I am also new."

Sumi smiled nervously, but extended her hand. "Matsu Himeko."

"Matsu Chizuki. Are you also here for the fifth pride?"

Sumi wished she had read better the letter. "I think so."

"Then we are going to be squad mates!" Chizuki cheered. "We can share tent if you want."

"How many people are we in a pride?" Sumi asked in a low voice. She did not like the menacing looks of some girls.

"You did not pay much attention in military classes, did you? Don't worry, I only remember because my mother would make me pass extra exams at home. A basic Matsu pride squad is between thirty and fifty warriors." Sumi felt her blood ran cold; this had been a very bad idea. "Oh, they are going to start," Chizuki said while pointing at the two women that had taken a high spot in a corner of the courtyard.

"We are going to name the members of the fifth and sixth pride. Those named now will move to my right. You are part of the fifth pride. Matsu Michiko, Matsu Fuu, Matsu Kahi..."

Sumi glanced right and left, maybe there was still a way out.

"Matsu Himeko."

"Oh, that's you," Chizuki pushed her forward.

With heavy steps, Sumi joined the forming group called the 'fifth pride'. She would learn later it was the fifth cause four others had been lost in battle beforehand since the conflict started. Chizuki skipped to her side when her name was called and Sumi was not sure if having the cheerful girl next to her would benefit her or bring her more trouble.

The two women in charge kept yelling names until two big groups stood in front of each other, lives to be wasted at war. "We depart tomorrow morning at daybreak. Do not be late or await punishment for desertion. You can take the rest of the day off."

With that last announcement, the kunoichis started to depart, some talking animatedly in groups, some by themselves, downcast. Sumi stood there, impassive. She had not thought this trough.

"Do you want to have dinner with me? My mother is not a great cook, but I am sure she won't mind you," Chizuki offered, and although Sumi did not want to, she had no other choice than to accept gratefully. "I did not see you at military school," Chizuki asked as they walked down the district to her house. "How old are you?"

"I just turned twelve," Sumi answered.

"I am fifteen," Chizuki said and Sumi realised she looked way younger. Maybe it was her rounded face and chubby cheeks that made her look childlike, maybe it was the short boyish cut. "But I graduated from the Academy only last year. My mother said that if I did not manage she would sell me off to another family, so I had to work extra hard." Sumi wondered how Chizuki could speak about such things with so much merriment. Her new friend was decidedly weird. "Maybe that is why we never met."

"I guess so..."

"What are your likes?" Chizuki asked. Sumi frowned, so she just continued, "I like shopping for clothes, the colour green and shabu shabu."

"Um... I like playing ninj-training with my friends, blue and okonomiyaki."

Chizuki started to skip over the stoned path. One foot, the other, both feet. "Who are your friends? I get along with the Chitose twins, but I don't like Ena's gang. They always make fun of the other girls."

Sumi paused. "I don't like them neither."

Chizuki gave her a thumb up. "That's great. The more we are, the better. Maybe we can defend each other that way." She finally stopped in front of a small house, humble in size and decoration. "Mom! I am home!"

A woman in her fifties appeared around a corner. She was tall and muscular, squared shouldered. Her movements were not feminine, neither her clothing. Had Sumi ever seen Hina wearing pants like this? Her blonde hair was messy and she wore no make-up.

"Who is your friend?" she asked, and her voice and intonation were also un-lady like.

"Her name is Himeko. Can she stay for dinner? We are in the same pride." At the last part, the mother's eyes softened and she nodded.

"Yes, of course. I will add a few more potatoes to the stew. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes, why don't you girls go to train or something while it cooks?" she said.

Chizuki took Sumi's hand and dragged her upstairs, to her room. Sumi's jaw fell. The room was full of dolls and stuffed toys, over the bed, in the floor, next to the window, over the wardrobe... The walls were painted in bright colours and a shelve contained around twenty books of titles such as 'Shinobi's love', 'Ninja Twilight' or '50 steps of love'.

"You have a lot of toys..." Sumi commented.

Chizuki beamed. "I bought most of them with my own money. Since I started doing missions I save up so I can buy some more. Do you like them?" Sumi nodded slowly. She had never cared much for toys this kind. She still treasured her marble collection though. "Do you want to play?" Chizuki asked, pulling out her two favourite dolls. Sumi noticed the hand-made dresses, disguising them in princesses.

Sumi sat down with her and played. It felt surreal, knowing tomorrow they would be heading to war, playing princesses' stories with dolls, a foot into a world of adults, the other still clinging to childhood, a step half taken. Would they come back different? Would they come back at all? She thought again about Kakashi. What if she did not see him again? She could not remember their last words and that saddened her. Were they kind words? She hoped so.

A loud scream of 'Food is ready' made them descend. The living room was small and the table could hold no more than four people. Sumi wondered if they would have to wait for the father or a sister. But as she helped to set the table, only three plates were handed. The mother told them to sit and she served a stew that smelled nice, but that was it. Its texture was thick and unappetising and taste was definitely unpleasant.

"So, since when are you a ninja... oh, sorry, what was your name?" the mother asked, mouth full of food.

"Himeko," Sumi answered, poking her food with her spoon, knowing her own mother hated when she did that. "I graduated the Academy at seven..."

"Seven!" The mother's eyes widened. "That's amazing! You should have befriended this girl before, Kiki!" Chizuki's smile fell and she was utterly interested in her plate. "I never heard of a child like you. Who are your parents?"

Sumi stuttered. "My parents? Th-they are... umh... dead."

"Sorry to hear that. A dead in battle?" she asked next.

"Uhm... yes, during the Second Shinobi World War, in the Night of Falling Stars," she answered, using her knowledge on history to reference the infamous battle in which their clan laid siege to Hitsuyu Mura, near Iwagakure.

"Oh, valiant sacrifices. You carry great honour then," the woman responded solemnly. Sumi felt guilty. "I am sure you will carry their will in battle."

"I will try to," she muttered.

"I fought in the war too. I was only nine, but then we could not spare any warrior. I still remember that day so many years ago, the way the sun did not warm our skin as we travelled the snowy mountains. Snow is such a marvellous thing. You can give it shape, but it melts. Well, anyways, that day I was..."

The girls listened to the war stories for the remaining of dinner, with more interest from Sumi, amazed by the woman's feat in battle, or less, as it was the case of Chizuki, who had heard this retelling over and over again. Her mother spoke with such passion that it was, however, hard to not be carried away by her words and grit your teeth when she spoke of the sacrifices made. The night had already fallen upon them, and the left-overs in their plates cooled down, when she told both girls to go to bed.

"But-" Sumi started to complain.

"Nonsense," the mother interrupted her. "You are both to wake up at the same time tomorrow. You will sleep good here. Anyways, you don't have anybody waiting for you, don't you?"

Sumi cringed at the impoliteness of her question, but did not comment on it. "I can lend you a pyjama," Chizuki offered, apparently delighted by the idea of a sleepover.

A futon was placed next to Chizuki's bed, and Sumi rested on it, feeling already the nervousness tickle at her stomach.

Chizuki lay in her bed, with her head over her hands, staring at the star filled ceiling. "If you did not have parents, why did you decide to become a ninja? Nobody obliged you..."

Sumi pondered. Why did everybody ask her such difficult questions? "I don't know," she confessed. "I guess it is who I am."

Chizuki smiled. "You are a weird one, Himeko."

Sumi chuckled. "You too, Chizuki."


	10. First scroll: death

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

When they arrived the Sun had not appeared yet, but in the dark they could see already several girls waiting. Had they even slept? She wondered. She, herself, had not managed to fall asleep for a while, staring blankly at a foreign wall adorned with painted roses. Even Chizuki had lost some of her bubbly personality faced with the impending departure.

Sumi was shaken. She replayed in her mind the conversation with Chizuki's mother. 'Protect my daughter, please' she had asked her. Protect her how? Could she even survive herself? This was what she had always wanted, to go out there, to live the adventures, like Kakashi, like Sakumo, but now... it was a dangerous bargain.

A slender woman, the first wrinkles forming around her mouth and an always-present frown in her face, screamed "Fifth pride! You are coming with me!"

And just like that, a group formed and they moved out of the training courtyard, along the village and out. Sumi could feel the eyes of the villagers faced with this marching group of women. Some in awe, some curious. Ninja rarely moved in such big groups, but to her 'teammates' it seemed natural to be twenty-seven. They walked in solemn silence, their faces severe with the tasks to come. Sumi felt a surge of excitement as she crossed the threshold of the village's gates. It was so different from the other and only time she had done so! Her thoughts went once more to Kakashi and her impatience to see him again.

"Do you know where are we going?" Sumi asked Chizuki after a while. The forest had grown around them and she could see no sign of near villages.

"I don't know. But I am already tired of walking," she complained with a smile. "I dislike walking and fighting. And you?"

"I am okay with walking," Sumi laughed. "But I must say I am getting hungry."

"Oh," Chizuki exclaimed and she rummaged through her bag. "I baked these two days ago, but I think they are still good." She offered Sumi a giant sweet bun and Sumi thanked her profusely before enjoying Chizuki's craft.

"These are really good," she said, grabbing a second one. "Who taught you how to cook them?"

"I learned myself," Chizuki beamed. "I like cooking and sewing."

"It was you then that did those doll dresses?"

Chizuki laughed. "Yes, but that was a few years ago. I did this shirt too," she added, turning around so Sumi could admire the top, the long sleeves flowing with the movement. "These are my main hobbies. Do you have hobbies too?"

"Uhm... I like reading, I guess."

"I like reading too!" Chizuki interrupted her. "I like love stories. You too?"

Sumi shook her head. "I prefer adventure stories. With villains and heroes."

"There are villains and heroes too in love stories. The hero is the guy that falls in love with the girl and the villains are all those that oppose their love," Chizuki explained.

"And that is why Chizuki is going to die in war," a voice behind them interrupted them. "Although that might not be such a bad thing," the girl added and her entourage laughed as they left.

"That's Ena," Chizuki muttered, head low in shame.

"Do not let them get you," Sumi tried to cheer her. "I think you are great."

"You are so nice, Himeko! Can I call you Hime?" Sumi nodded. Chizuki clapped her hands in happiness. "I feel we are going to become best of friends!"

The forest became thicker around them as they travelled. Chizuki had endless energy, so Sumi let her do the speaking and mostly listened to her ramblings. It was okay for her, as she was used to just hearing Kakashi's adventures or her father's tales. She had not much time to dwell on her sadness for the loss of the last one, as everything around her was fascinating. The trees looked taller, the grass greener, the river they crossed seemed to carry more water... Even Chizuki's conversation felt captivating. She could almost forget she was walking towards a cruel battlefield.

They made a single brief break to eat. Chizuki left her side to cook with a few other girls. They would all share their meal, the pride needed to be closely knit together and what better than food to do so. However, now alone, she felt a weird suspicion. A familiar feeling. She had been trained for it. She had played before with Kakashi this game of hide and seek before. Were they being followed? She looked around her; nobody seemed bothered. Could so many ninjas be unaware of a lurking danger?

"You look troubled," Chizuki told her, as she handed her a bowl.

"Oh, it's nothing," Sumi answered with a smile. Chizuki pulled out a paper, which she placed against her legs, and started writing on it. Sumi could see a long text had been already scribbled, full of crossing-outs. "What is that?" she asked after a while, her curiosity peaked. "You write a novel?"

Chizuki raised her head and smiled. "Oh, no." She blushed. "I don't know if I should tell you... Have you ever liked a boy, Hime?"

Sumi blushed too. "What-What do you mean? I don't... I don't know. Maybe. I guess not..."

Chizuki laughed. "You are funny."

"Is that for a boy, then?" Sumi asked, eager to swerve the conversation towards the other girl.

Chizuki nodded, her cheeks bright red, her shoulders coming up in excitement. "I guess you could say it's a love letter. It's more of a confession actually. It's for Eichi Uchiha. Have you met him yet?" Sumi shook her head. "He is really handsome. He has really nice black hair and pretty dark eyes. I spoke with him once in the Academy. He is also really smart. I think we are meant to marry."

Sumi raised an eyebrow, "You want to marry?"

Chizuki beamed. "Of course, yes! A really nice wedding with a lot of guests. My mother says I am too young to be thinking in these things. That I should focus more in my ninja career. But I just cannot help it! When I think of it I get so happy."

Sumi chuckled and enjoyed her meal. She got to put names to some of the other faces too. Anzu, whose hair was a ginger blonde, Ryoichi, who liked to juggle kunais to impress people, soft-spoken Kikuko, big Masako... Some of these girls were actually nice and being around them felt like being again with her sisters. Except that these girls, they shared her interests; kunais, battle, tactics, techniques... she could speak about all these freely, nobody to judge her.

"What is her name?"

"You don't know?" Masako asked incredulous. "She is Matsu Mayuko, daughter of the great Mayu, the legendary Mayu." Sumi stared at the back of the head of their leader. "We are lucky to have her. With her, we can be sure we will make it back home," Masako added with a smile that made her eyes close.

Sumi nodded slowly and smiled too. They soon resumed their trek.

The sun burned still high but they were surrounded by the darkness casted by the tall bamboo that had replaced the trees, when Mayuko gave the sign to stop. "We will camp here for today. The second group has encountered some difficulties and we are ahead of them. Set your tents and spend your time as you see fit. But do not hurt each other," she added as an afterthought.

Sumi looked around her. Every girl set off in the small clearing to busy themselves. "I will set a tent for us," Chizuki told her.

"I will go get wood with the other girls," Sumi said as she re-joined Masako and Ryoichi. Ena joined them and Sumi bit her tongue when she realised that the two other girls got along with her. After all, Ena had a charisma that even she could not deny. Her long blond hair flowed down her back and a straight fringe framed her pretty face. But what made her popular was, without a doubt, her confidence.

"What is the name of the new girl?" Ena asked.

"Himeko," Sumi answered before the other girls.

Ena scoffed, looking her up and down. "You also like to play with dolls, Himeko?"

"Come on, girls," Masako interrupted them. "Let's get the wood so we can rest. My feet are killing me."

They moved around the bamboos, sometimes obliged to squirm their bodies through the tall shoots. The air was humid and Sumi saw with satisfaction how Ena's hair frizzled in weird shapes. Finding wood apt for fire was hard and Sumi wondered if the others would worry if they did not come back fast. A few dry logs were found and gathered. Ena carried two while the other girls filled their arms.

"What is that sound?" Ryoichi suddenly asked.

"What sound?" Masako asked.

"Wait, I can hear it too," Ena said and she set off.

The other girls shared a look and they followed fast. When they reached Ena the wood fell from their arms in surprise at the scene in front of them. A big beast of an exquisite line pattern laid dead. An array of kunais stuck out of its torso. A few meters from it, a ninja's mauled body collected hungry flies.

"What do we do?" Ryoichi asked.

"That's an Iwagakure ninja," Masako said, pointing at the head band, but also at the red suit that it wore.

"He seems dead," Ryoichi added, but none dared to approach.

"What if there are more?" Sumi asked next.

"We should go alert the others," Masako said.

Ena raised a hand, "Shut up all of you!" she hissed. "There is something else." And with three long strides she knelt before the animal's corpse. Sumi had to admire her courage, despite her rotten personality. But then, the animal emitted a long moan, a clear complain to his bleeding wounds. Ena fell back on her butt.

"Oh, no, it's still alive!" Masako exclaimed, her hands covering her mouth in horror.

Ena pulled out a kunai and Sumi extended her hand towards her, "No!"

Ena glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. "Why not? It is suffering. Better to let him rest."

"Maybe we can heal him," Sumi protested.

Ena scoffed. "It is a tiger. A ruthless killer. There is no honour in this animal. Even if he was not wounded, I would kill him." And with that she planted her kunai in its throat, letting the blood pour down her hands as the animal drew its last breath. Sumi turned her head at the image. Ena sat up and passed by her side, "Let's go, girls."

With conflicted expressions, the two other girls followed Ena and Sumi took those two last steps and dropped to her knees. She placed a hand in the tiger's fur. Its skin was still warm. Why did it upset her so much? She did not like this pointless killing. That was not the way of the ninja as she understood it. She was sure Kakashi would agree. Would he?

A soft sound put her on alert and she drew her kunai. A ruffling of leaves to the other side of the beast; she dared to peak. A fluffy head popped between the weeds. It carried the same stripes than its mother, but their colour... their colours were all wrong. Its base was not striking orange, but a pale yellow and the dark black stripes of its mother were orange. Not a golden tiger, neither white, but between both. She raised a hand towards him. He had already the size of a small dog and she thought he would scratch her when he threw his paw forward. But instead, he just played with her fingers. She moved them and he seemed to enjoy so.

He walked clumsily around the remains of his mother and jumped on her lap. "You also lost somebody, uh?" she asked him sadly. He suckled her finger. Another distant sound made her rise her head. "We must go."

She gathered a few pieces of wood back and wrapped them with the cub in a long cloth she had packed to use as a sheet. She trekked back quickly; scared to be left alone, scared her secret was found out. Chizuki waved at her in front of a big tent and Sumi ran inside it.

"Something's wrong?" Chizuki asked, stepping in too. "The girls say you saw a tiger and a dead ninja. And-oh my god, what is that?" She was pointing at the moving sheet. "A ghost?" The cub scratched the fabric open and stormed out. It did have claws, Sumi thought. "What did you do?! A tig-!"

Sumi rushed to cover her mouth with her hand. "I can explain. It-"

Screams and sounds of metals mixed with loud cracking and things getting smashed interrupted their conversation and Chizuki, being the one closest to the tent flap poked her head out. When she looked back at Sumi, she could read the fear in her distorted eyes.

"Chizuki, what is going on?" she asked, but she received no answer. "Chizuki!" She finally walked to the flap and opened it. A scene of battle unfolded before her eyes and a ninja was thrown her way. It was Ryoichi, gravely wounded. She still managed to stand up and charge back in the candour of the fight. Iwagakure ninjas everywhere rounded on the pride and tried to eliminate as many of them as they could, giving the same treatment to kids as Sumi than to experienced warriors like Mayuko. "We need to help them!" Sumi screamed but Chizuki was trembling. She softened her tone. "It's okay. Stay here and hide," she told her as she grabbed her by the arms. "Protect him," she pointed at the cub.

Sumi was not prepared to fight, but she did so anyways. She had never imagined her first combat to be like this. It was far from her exercises during training. Here everything was messy and it was hard to calculate one's movements. She saw Ryoichi and she ran to the ninja attacking her. He had his back to her, so she thought she could back-stab him. But experience was valuable in battle, and he just kicked Ryoichi as he tried to slash Sumi with a kunai. She thought she had avoided it, but it slashed the surface of her arm. Luckily, just a scratch she barely felt in her panicked state.

Her palms were sweaty as she tried to stab him again, but he just kicked the kunai away from her hand. Bracing from the worst, she closed her eyes, but Ryoichi just jumped at the ninja from the back, slicing his throat. His blood fell on Sumi and her eyes opened wide in shock. How Ryoichi could still be standing, it was a miracle.

"Grab his kunai and fight!" Ryoichi ordered her and she snapped back to reality. She did as she was told so. She did her best.

And as the skirmish advanced, her reflexes and movements got used to the battle. She measured better the distances, anticipated sometimes her opponent's movements. And she had the feeling that, as the battle progressed, the stronger the pride became. Then she just pegged it to the diminishing number of Iwagakure ninjas. Later, she understood that the longer the fight, the advantage tipped in their favour. In the end, it all ended as it started, in a haze of images disconnected. She did not remember how many enemies she killed, but she could see their blood in her hands and arms, the same way the tiger's blood had painted crimson Ena's hands. Was that war? The line between innocent and guilty became blurred. For some reason, she was trembling. Disturbing memories flashed when she closed her eyes. Had she really done all that?

"Are you hurt?" Kikuko asked her. Some had started to tend to the wounds of the more damaged girls.

Sumi looked down at herself. She was full of scratches and a big slice run along the left side of her ribs. When had that happened? Now that adrenaline left her body, she felt the piercing pain.

"I will bandage you. Sit down," Kikuko told her.

Once Kikuko was happy with her work, Sumi could go back to her tent. It was dark and she rummaged for a candle in her backpack. The light discovered Chizuki's tear streamed face as she lay in a corner, her legs to her chest, while the tiger cub snored peacefully next to her.

"His name is Haruki," Chizuki suddenly said.

"What?"

"The tiger, I gave him a name. It's Haruki," she repeated.

Sumi sat down next to her. "Are you okay?"

Chizuki sobbed. "I am a failure."

"Don't say that. You were only scared, it is normal."

Chizuki looked at her with red eyes. "But you were not."

"I was," Sumi confessed. "I had never been more scared in my life."

"Why can I not be like you? You were scared and you still fought. My mother is right; I am no use as a ninja..." She buried her face in her hands as she continued crying in the dark tent.

Sumi placed a hand in her shoulder. "You know, I am sure next time it will be better. But even if it is not, you will never be a failure. Because maybe being a ninja it is not who you are. Once this is all finished, once we are back in Konoha, speak with your mother. Tell her what you want to be, to become... We all don't need to be ninjas, you know?" she finished with an empty smile.

"It will bring dishonour to my family..."

Sumi paused. "There is no dishonour in being who you truly are. There is only freedom."

Chizuki stared at her in the dim light, and hugged her. As Sumi looked down her hands laced behind the back of the other girl, she could see the red in them. Was this who she truly was?


	11. First scroll: disloyal

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

"How is Ryoichi doing?" she asked Kikuko the next morning.

"It's okay. She will heal. Eventually." She looked down at Ryoichi's close lids, her lips barely parted as she breathed in and out. "She won't be able to fight today though. A message has been sent to Konoha and med nins should be on their way to take her back."

They just left her there, in a small camouflaged tent, sleeping peacefully next to the ones that did not make it.

"She saved me, you know," Sumi suddenly told Chizuki as the group made a small pause next to a stream to refresh themselves and wash away the dried blood on their hair and clothes. Haruki had been hidden in between some bushes and was busy playing with passing butterflies. "Ryoichi."

Chizuki used her sleeve to wipe the water around her mouth. "She will be fine. Don't worry, Hime. I am sure Ryoichi has been through this before."

Sumi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she is a Matsu after all." Sumi raised an eyebrow and Chizuki shook her head. "You really don't know anything, right? Our family's technique? Well, I don't know how you made it until here. If you were not my friend, I would think you are an impostor or something." She laughed and Sumi did too, albeit nervously. "Matsu's courage is the technique that allows us to enter in a furious rage and overcome our wounds in combat, increasing speed, strength, chakra..." she recited as if reading from a textbook. She pointed up a finger. "The more damage you take, the more damage you deal."

"So she cannot die once she is enraged?" Sumi asked in a low voice. Making these questions put her at risk to be discovered.

"Of course she could die, you silly," Chizuki said while splashing water in her face. "Any fatal wound cannot be overcome, any missing limb cannot be regrown and too much sustained damage can kill you too. Once out of this rage, all your wounds 'come back', I guess," she air-quoted.

Sumi nodded slowly. That explained last night victory. More wounds meant stronger Matsu. What a strange notion, she thought, as she dove head first into the water.

They soon crossed the frontier. Mayuko had informed them so. Their morale was down; they had lost eight kunoichis in last night's battle and one was out of combat. It was contagious the restlessness around their camp. Sumi still had that feeling of being followed. Was there a second ambush preparing?

"You need to get rid of him, Hime," Chizuki complained. They had set their tent for the night. They would reach their destination tomorrow and they had to wait for the second team. "People are going to find out. If they see that you have been keeping a-a tiger... We are going to be in a lot of trouble."

"What's so bad about it?" Sumi said as she played with Haruki. She remembered with humour the time she had chased cats to make them her invocation pets.

"What's so bad about it? Hime, tigers represent everything bad. They are a symbol of shame and dishonour. They are ruthless and solitary. They are aggressive towards others of their kind. Just... no," Chizuki told her as she paced. "Soon it will be night. You should go into the forest and release him."

"He won't survive alone!" Sumi complained. "He is just a baby."

"A baby that will eat us once he grows up. He already has teeth and claws," she waved her ravaged coat in front of Sumi's face, "look what he did! He will manage just fine."

The tent flap suddenly opened and Masako's face appeared "Do you girls..." She frowned at their tight smiles and the lump wrapped in a cloak in Chizuki's arms, which seemed to move. "...want to have dinner with us?"

"Yes, we will be there in a second," Sumi said. Then Haruki decided to growl. "Uf, my stomach is making noises. I am so hungryyyy."

Masako raised an eyebrow. "Okaaay. See you in a bit."

Both girls inside waved. "See you." Then relaxed. Sumi lay in the floor and Chizuki let out a long breath, setting the cub in the floor, who decided it was time to turn the rest of the cloak to shreds. "See it now?" Chizuki said, "He needs to go, please."

Sumi casted her eyes down and sighed. "Okay. You go eat and make an excuse for me. I will go back to leave him in the forest," she said sorrowfully.

"It is the right thing to do," Chizuki tried to convince her, but Sumi did not answer as she took the tiger cub and lifted the tent's canvas' backside to slip out unnoticed.

The bamboo forest was quiet and she was unsure of what to do. Of course she had told Chizuki that she would abandon the cub, but that was just to get her off her back, to gain some time to think of something better to do. As she wandered aimlessly through the forest, she realised she had not many options - and that it was probably dangerous to be out there alone. Haruki started to trash in her arms. "What happens? What do you want?"

She set him in the ground and the kitten took off in a flash. She tried to follow him, avoiding bamboo shoots right and left. For an uncoordinated cub, he managed to run just fine when he wanted to. He finally relented and she was going to catch him back, but a sight in front of her deterred her movement. Instead, she let him advance to the beautiful statue in the tiny forest clearing. A sitting tiger made in old stone, an ear chipped. At the base of the pedestal in which it sat, some kanji had been erased by the pass of time. Its eyes sockets were empty but as Haruki reached the statue, they glowed green as if two jade gems had been incrusted in. A spirit jumped down from the monument, the huge tiger it represented. But unlike the spirits of her ancestors, this tiger seemed solid and she took a step back. The tiger rubbed its head against Haruki's, who seemed happy. It then nodded to Sumi, which she interpreted as sign of gratitude and then, just as it came, the tiger and Haruki disappeared in the forest.

Sumi shivered. What had just happened?

Dazed and confused, she went back to the encampment and sat between the girls dining. Chizuki sent her a pointed look and whispered, "Is it done?"

Sumi nodded. It was, but what had she done?

The next morning, for the first time, the remaining of the fifth pride, eighteen kunoichis and Mayuko gathered to discuss their plan of attack. They had reached their objective: Kusagakure. This village had been taken by Iwagakure and they controlled the adjacent country to Konoha. Another team had been sent to destroy Kannabi bridge, the main route of supply. With this coordinated attack, they would deal a pivotal blow to Iwagakure and hopefully, end the looming war before other nations got involved. The plan was simple, just attack. The fifth pride was a shock force. And this could only be done thanks to Matsu's special battle techniques. Mayuko explained them the territory in which they would fight, encouraged them. The real battle was now and there was no room for mistake or failure.

They sneaked through the forest until they could see the walls of Kusagakure, until they could almost perceive the windows in the distant buildings. Mayuko had promised them an easy ambush. Iwagakure must be focusing troops in other points, confident that they would not attack the main village. Kannabi would provide an extra distraction. So once again, positioned in the bamboos, focused so that they would not perch with their weight, the fifth pride awaited the signal from the second team, the one Mayuko always spoke about, the one Sumi assumed to be the sixth pride. She wondered how many Matsu would be left in that one.

Their faces were now masked, only their eyes visible, their soft lips hidden behind a lion's grimace, full of pointed teeth. Sumi felt shame and guilt as she adjusted hers over her face. It felt unnatural, it felt surreal. She was disgracing her father, her family. All for what reason? Selfishness? She imagined the woman owner of her mask. Had she not tell her to do it? Then why did it feel like she was betraying everyone? She did not like the comfort of the anonymity that provided the mask; instead, she felt it hid her sin.

The signal arrived and Mayuko gave the order to charge. The eighteen girls started to jump from bamboo to bamboo, to advance towards their objective. The first scream to her left alerted Sumi that they were not as alone as they imagined, but she remembered her leader's words 'Do not look back, keep going with the mission no matter what'. She glanced to her right and spotted a flash of yellow, Chizuki. She kept advancing. The bamboos mixed with trees and she gained stable footing on the strong branches. The sounds of battle duplicated and she looked forward in horror. Enemy ninjas kept on appearing in the forest.

A shuriken embedded in her shoulder and she hissed in pain, moving quickly in cover before pulling it out. Something was not right. How many enemies were they facing? This was not according to plan.

She saw a shadow jump towards her and she leaped down the tree, falling ungracefully in the grass. She saw other girls already fighting there and she knew the Iwagakure nins would benefit from if to use their Earth release. She faced the ninja in front of her and this time did not miss a beat before to throw a kunai at him and charge forward. He defended and sliced at her, just to reveal a wooden log in her place. From her hidden spot she threw a shuriken to it, hitting the explosive tag that made the ninja go flying backwards against a tree, flames licking at his unconscious form.

"You think yourself pretty smart, uh?" a ragged voice spoke behind her and a strong arm wrapped around her upper body and she saw the other hand, the one that grabbed a kunai, closing on her stomach, before she could throw an elbow back and a kick. Just in time she saw another nin behind her launching a kunai attack. This was madness. They were heavily over numbered. Her few tricks would not work. The first ninja launched a second attack towards her, but when she was about to move out of the way of the shuriken, she felt the rocks holding her ankles down, work of the second one. She raised her arms and she managed to protect any vital area from the attack.

"Die!" the first one screamed as he ran towards her, kunai ready to stab. She dodged down in time and retrieving three shurikens from her arms, she threw them to the second nin as the first stumbled over her. She managed to get him in the neck and she felt her feet released. However, the second one loomed now over her and the kunai stopped centimetres from her throat as he was stabbed before he could finish his job. A hand helped her up and she saw Chizuki, smiling insecure.

"Thank you," she told her. "Something's wrong, Chizuki... we need to leave." Sumi looked around herself, there was death everywhere. This was not like their previous battle. They were losing now. "We need to retreat, we need to tell the others-"

"Hime!" she heard Chizuki scream as she pushed her violently to the floor. Sumi fell and felt the warmth of three small blood drops fall on her cheek. Over her, Chizuki's shape hid the sun from her view and she could only make out her silhouette, the shaking of her legs as an earth spear pierced her chest.

"Chizuki!" she yelled as she cradled her friend's body in her arms. The ninja to blame was ready to redo his movement when Ena planted a kunai in the side of his face.

"Do not stand there, idiot!" she screamed as she continued fighting.

Sumi could not care anymore about the fight as Chizuki died in her lap. "I only wanted to make my mother proud," Chizuki moaned out. "To not be a failure."

Sumi caressed the side of her face, taking out her lion mask. "You are not a failure. You are the bravest kunoichi I have ever met."

Chizuki smiled faintly. "I just wanted to make a family. Marry and have children..."

"It's going to be okay. Do not speak, Chizuki. I will get you out of here," Sumi lied to her. The pool of blood at their feet expanded.

"... to be who I want to be... to live the life I choose... like you..." Chizuki's eyes closed and she looked almost content, almost relieved.

Tears clouded Sumi's vision and she raised her head to send them off. Then she saw it, the quick shadows flying over the battle, unnoticed, undisturbed. The second team, the real mission, the bitter reality. With trembling hands she searched the pockets of Chizuki until she found what she was looking for: a red stained letter, and she tugged it in her pouch.

Then she scanned the battlefield until she could find Mayuko and fought her way the best she knew towards her.

"We need to stop this madness, leader!" she screamed at the older woman. She finished off an enemy before she turned to her.

"What do you mean? Speak! I will not tolerate deserters," she said menacingly.

"You need to order the pride to retreat! If we don't, we are all going to die here today!"

To Sumi's despair, it just earned her a lopsided smirk. "We came here to die, child. We die so Konoha can live. Rejoice!" she said, throwing a kunai straight into a nin that was hiding behind them in a tree bark.

Sumi took her arm. "So that's it? We are just a decoy, to be sacrificed here? You are sending good daughters to their deaths. My friend just died in my arms! You cannot-"

"Don't tell me what I cannot do. Go back to fight, kunoichi," her tone was threatening as Mayuko pried her hand away from her arm. "Nobody will steal me from this glory," she muttered under her breath.

Sumi turned around twice, not registering fully what her eyes were seeing. Her mind was somewhere else, trying to find a solution, an escape. Were they all ready to die in battle except herself? Leaving with her life, abandon the pride, had a too mighty cost. To dishonour her name, her family, to leave Konoha, her friends... There had to be another way, she thought, as she avoided an attack and managed to finish her opponent with a shuriken.

"Please, stop," she whispered as she fought. "Stop it, please," she said louder. "Stop, I beg, stop all of you!" she was soon shouting both to enemies and allies alike. Meanwhile, the second team continued to advance towards the village, undetected and unaffected by the death below them. If only they would help... maybe they stood a chance. An idea crossed her mind.

"Look above you! We are already attacking your village you idiot!" she shouted at an Iwagakure ninja, but she seemed only interested in maiming her. "Are you all idiots? You are falling into our trap!" The ninja kicked her legs and she fell, but then hands violently wrapped around the enemy nin's neck and twisted it with a loud crack.

The angered face of Mayuko appeared in front of her. "You will not steal me from my glory." She said as she advanced furiously towards her, kunai at the ready. "I will make you proud, mother, at any cost..."

"Please no," Sumi whimpered, scurrying in the dirt as far as she could from her leader.

"I told you to not interfere!" Mayuko screamed as she raised the weapon, but in a flash, a huge shape jumped in between them, protecting the girl, and it roared in disagreement at the older woman.

Somehow, Sumi knew what to do as she grabbed a hold of the orange fur and climbed atop. Mayuko seemed paralysed in fear faced with the jade eyes of the beast and Sumi did not dedicate her a last thought as she pointed her finger forward, towards Kusagakure. "We need to go there."

The tiger batted her long tail in agreement and dashed to their chosen destination, stealing glances from the ardent combatants, catching the attention of the enemy towards what was really going on. A few heads noticed the ninjas from the second team too and soon they shouted the news between them. They were fighting a decoy; the real danger was approaching their walls. The order was passed: disengage and protect the village.

The Matsu warriors saw in horror how their opponents avoided combat with them and instead retreated, the second team ninjas saw with despair their cover blown. Who was that little girl riding a tiger through the conflict?

Sumi tried to avoid the attacks that tried to slow them down, to knock her down. A shuriken kissed her cheek and the whooshing sound left a ring in her left ear. "We need to get to that tower," she told her new companion.

Said tower loomed over the battlefield. She had no idea what it purpose was; a watchtower? A control centre? It faintly reminded her of the Hokage's office, of her abandoned work giving out missions to other ninjas, feeling useless... Well, whatever it was, it was going down now. If they could only reach it. For that they had to reach the wall and cross it. They were so close now... It was a bigger wall than she expected. How could she climb that without getting killed? An idea crept in the back of her mind: hold tight. Her little fists closed almost painfully on the tiger's fur, her legs closed around its body. Without warning, it leaped into the vertical construct, claws the size of her hand digging into the stone, leaving circle marks as they ascended.

Sumi realised the dangerous of their position. They were in the open for an attack and some Iwagakure ninjas were already climbing after them. Her companion could not defend them this time, so she did her best throwing shurikens and kunais to fend off the enemies biting at their talons. The ascent occurred in a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity and when they were back in the horizontal, Sumi kept her inflexible grip in the soft fur despite the pain in her hands. There was a bigger gap between the tower and the wall than she had calculated, so when she threw her explosives to it, she planted some also in the wall.

"Ready to jump?" she asked the growling beast beneath her. She did not receive any answer, but she still threw her kunais to activate the seals after the last ninja from the second team had crossed to the village. Out of eight, she failed two. She had no time to chastise herself as the flames liked at her limbs. She could not see in the dust and she coughed as she breathed in the smoke. She could hear with satisfaction the falling of rocks. But as her vision cleared she saw with anguish that her plan had been a failure. The pieces of the tower and wall that were supposed to block the way from the Iwagakure ninjas were just being moved away with their earth release techniques and soon they would be inside Kusagakure. She had barely interred a few.

"No... no... no, no," she muttered as she looked at her work. She had sentenced them all. Her body shook as she sobbed and tears of helplessness began to fall.

She felt the beast move, square its paws, tense and she raised her head, her eyes wide. What was this energy she was feeling? It was disturbing and comforting at the same time.

The tiger roared and the earth shook. It caught everybody's eyes, it chilled everybody's bones. It was such a magnificent sound, so unearthly. Its end was muted by the cracking of stone and Sumi saw how the terrain changed; two deep gully formed forming a valley around the ninja out of the village, lowering them down, imprisoning them. Its walls so high, so perfectly vertical. The Iwagakure ninjas that had tried to chase the second team were now between an insurmountable obstacle and the fury of the Matsu kunoichis, which wasted no second to bring back the battle to them. In their surprise, they were soon being annihilated. The second team, a force of some of Konoha's elite ninjas, had no trouble raiding the city, eliminating the last invaders, reclaiming Kusagakure.

Sumi wanted to beam, to jump, cheer and scream at the success, but the artificer of it fell to the ground, and she crashed with it. She had felt it when the tiger had commanded the earth to part; it was hard to explain, but it reminded her of her mother's porcelain vase breaking into a hundred tiny pieces when she ran into it by mistake. The tiger was breathing heavily and she petted it. With a groan, it rose again and without any acknowledgment, it left, slow in its step. It just walked away to who-knew-where and she did not try to follow. Instead, perched on the remaining of the wall, kneeled close to its edge, she observed in awe how the fifth pride won the battle.


	12. First scroll: loyal

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

He had been wandering aimlessly around the village. He had tried to stay at home, but it was worst. The memories of what had happened in Kanabi Bridge, they haunted him. He had done other missions before, killed before, lost beloved ones before, but this was different. This had created a deep wound that still bled. In his aimless amble, he had secretly hoped to cross Sumi and at the same time, he did not want her to comfort him. What could she understand? She was not there, she had never been there, never seen war.

"Kakashi," a voice called to him in front of a flower stand. It vaguely sounded like Sumi and he turned quickly.

Hina stood in the middle of the street, looking tired. The purple bags under her eyes made her look even paler. She still wore black; her one hundred days of mourn had not passed yet. And now she feared she had another hundred to go. He raised an eyebrow. They had not the best relationship and he lacked in him the strength right now to put up with her.

"I need your help," she confessed and his eyes widened. He must have heard wrong.

"Excuse me?"

She took a step towards him, spoke in a low voice, "Sumi went missing five days ago. Please, help me find her."

That was a day ago and now he faced a girl probably two or three years older and four times his size.

"I assure you I won't let her go. It will just be a few minutes talk," he told her.

The big girl laughed, while she turned to open the cell. "Take all the time you want. And I would not chase you if you would let her free," she whispered as she winked at Sumi.

Sumi smiled and walked passed him and out of Kusagakure's prison. Other ninjas were locked, most Iwagakure, most heavily wounded. He rushed to follow after her. Her long hair was now short and flowed freely around her face, but the biggest change came with the almost white color. It did not fit her, he thought. It felt unnatural.

She seemed to know where she was heading and she started to run from tree to tree, bamboo to bamboo once they were out of the village. He caught up quick, a bit scared and a bit surprised by her behaviour. "Where are you going?!" he screamed, but she did not answer.

The hike was long and he wondered if they were heading straight back to the village full speed like that. He had already rushed to Kusagakure once he had deducted his friend's whereabouts. Even he had a stamina limit. But then, suddenly, she slowed down and changed direction. Then, after a while, she did it again. She was looking for something...

She found it. The chipped ear was still intact, the rest of the stone laid to pieces. The tiger statue was no more and she realized with incredible sadness, that she will never be able to thank the entity or spirit that saved her. She dropped to her knees and took a piece between her hands. It was difficult to lift, so heavy the stone was. Yet she put the piece, a part of the tiger's face, a single eye socket, in front of hers.

"What is this, Sumi?" he asked. He was confused. The girl in front of him felt different. Or was it him that had changed? "You lied to everybody, you disobeyed orders and put everybody at risk, the village..."

She snorted. She knew his uptight view on rules and duties. "Did you come here to scream at me? To scold me? Don't worry, I am already a prisoner. Soon we will return to Konoha and I will be judged."

His eyes widened. Was this her vision of him? Why did it bother him anyway? Maybe because it was this part of him that had gotten Obito killed... "You protected your friends... I cannot scold you for that. I came here because your mother is worried. She asked me to bring you back."

She turned her head to look at him, making the rock fall. "My mother?" He nodded. "She is worried?" she repeated and he nodded again. She closed her fists to stop her hands from trembling. So selfish she had been. How many people had she hurt in her adventure?

Some stones started to move and Kakashi prepared a kunai to fight whatever it was, but then Sumi raised a hand to stop him from going further and crawled towards the pile. She moved a few stones cautiously and took them off faster when she saw a flash of light orange fur. Her hands worked their way until she could pry the cub out of its stone prison. "Haruki!" she exclaimed. His rounded belly expanded as he sort of mewled in response.

"What is that?" Kakashi asked, kunai still at the ready.

She hugged the tiger kitten. "This is Haruki. I found him in the forest. His mother... well, he is orphaned. I think he has no one to take care of him".

"Well, there is nothing we can do..." he said. She looked at him with big eyes, and he could almost read the thought crossing her mind. "No way, Sumi..."

"Just for a while, the time I find a solution-"

"The solution is to leave him here."

"Please, Kakashi, I will take him off your hands as soon as I can. But now I am a prisoner, they will find out if I take him with me," she pleaded, offering the pup to him.

"I don't like cats," he complained.

She ignored him as she placed the cub in his backpack. It barely fit. She would have to gift him a new backpack later, she was sure Haruki would destroy this one. "Why are you wearing your head protector like that?" she changed topic and moved her hands to his face to properly adjust it, but he caught her wrist in a quick movement. "Kakashi?"

He left her hand fall and turned to walk away. "Let's go. You can explain me how did you end up jailed in the way."

She chuckled and followed after him. "A statue spoke to me that... Wait, no, I was bored at work when..."

As he listened to her story, he felt a bit the weight in his shoulders being lifted, a bit of normalcy back at his side, to anchor him, and he felt his wound stop bleeding, even if for just the time of a tale of war, honor, friendship and courage.

Three days after the fifth pride, its number down to eleven and leaderless, returned to Konoha. Sumi, hands behind her back by rope, Matsu guards at her sides - the same girls she had shared meals and travel with -, felt the same wonder when she crossed the big gates, amazement at having returned alive. Her good spirits were short lived as she was faced by the inquisitive eyes of the citizens that whispered of her deeds, of her disgrace. Was this what Sakumo had felt? She pitied him even if she did not fully understand the consequences of her acts. A shriek made her turn her head and she saw her mother being ushered away by her sisters. Her head dropped low; she felt the guilt gnawing at her stomach.

They headed to their clan's district. The Hokage had left her trial at the hands of the Matsu family. It was their honor in question. It was their problem too. The Hokage had enough in his plate as it was. Kakashi was not there in the crowd and she felt relief at that. She did not want him to see her like this, to contemplate her shame.

The two Asian lion statues that guarded her clan's district door reminded her of Haruki and she hoped Kakashi was taking good care of him as he promised. What if she was never to see any of them again? She hoped at least they would find company in each other, although she doubted strongly that Kakashi would raise the tiger cub.

She was lead to a big building, the biggest in the district. Inside, a big room was already filled with women of different ages at both sides, making out a corridor for her to walk down, towards the woman sat in the throne chair. Weapons of all kinds adorned the walls, testifying to the war-like spirit of the Matsu. The woman in the chair was lifted higher than the rest by a few steps and she was made to bow to her knees in front of the first one, her hands released from the cord.

"Ikoma Sumi, daughter of Ikoma Hachiro," the woman spoke. Her voice was deep and paused, dramatic even, soothing, pleasant. By her age, Sumi thought she could be her mother. Her long blond hair was tight in a ponytail and she wore a complicated armor made of metal pieces. She held a naginata in her left hand, decorated by a charm and a tuff of hair. A growl made her curious and she saw for the first time that behind the chair, elongated, a lioness watched her with disinterest. "You are here to be judged for your crimes during Kusagakure's siege," she continued. "You have brought dishonor to your family, you have stolen important Konoha's documents, impersonated one of our warriors, used the sacred war mask of your deceased grand-mother, disobeyed your leader's orders, endangered a crucial mission risking the lives of countless ninjas..."

Sumi gulped. The whole room had grown silent and the heavy atmosphere was only broken by the soft snoring of the lioness and the chirping of birds outside, unaware of the important dealings in the building they chose to build their nests in.

"Such crimes deserve exile at the best, death at the worst," the clan head continued. Sumi felt her heart sink and anxiety made her look around her, searching for support in the stoic faces. A low rumbling of whispers and voices had started then. "However," the woman said and the room grew quiet, "you have also cared for your pride members, shown great courage risking your life to save them and if it were not for your stupid recklessness, no daughters of Matsu would have returned to us." Sumi held her breath, felt choking, out of air, but the tension was too great. "You avoided useless sacrifices and brought glory to our clan. You have shown Matsu's determination and boldness. Such acts deserve my gratitude," she said rising up and bowing to her, "and I wish personally that you accept my offer to travel to the capital and become part of the Fire lord's guard, that you become a sister to us." Sumi's eyes were wide and she ended up breathing in with a gasp. Everybody else in the room seemed to wait for an answer before to judge. "What do you say?"

After a few minutes of staring blankly, her eyes focused ahead. She rose to her feet, to the surprise of everybody, audacious. "I cannot accept that offer. Judge me otherwise if you want, but I cannot leave this village."

The woman smirked. "I see. Very well."

"There is still something I would like to ask of you. Three things actually," Sumi continued and the room erupted in murmurs again. This was clearly impoliteness, offensive, to be asking favors when she had just been spared death.

But the head of the clan just smiled wider, showing a pretty relaxed face, raising an eyebrow in amusements. "I hear you."


	13. First scroll: beginning

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Three things she asked for.

It looked bigger than she imagined it.

"If you don't relax, it will hurt more."

She was trying to relax, but so close to her, it was looking pretty impressive.

"Are you sure you want it in here?"

She nodded, if she kept on looking at it she will probably chicken out, so she just gripped tightly the pillow and looked ahead. When it first touched her, she screamed in pain.

"Do not move."

She mumbled a complain under her breath. It was hard to not move when the needle hit her skin hard enough to deposit the ink permanently. Yet, the old woman charged with her tattoo had thousand of them as experience and after a while her skin grew numb. They made little conversation and towards the end Sumi had to bite her lower lip as the pain came back.

"It is done," the old woman announced, cleaning the surface with a piece of cloth imbibed in some lotion that soothed her red skin. "Do you like it?"

Sumi looked down at her right tight. A twisting tiger of beautiful stripes surrounded by bamboo shoots had been inked in. It was gorgeous. She looked at Haruki, who played with some fallen pieces of paper. "Do you like it?" He did not answer, too busy turning the small pieces into tiner ones.

"Most Matsu warriors tattoo their arms," the woman said. "But then again, you are the first non Matsu I have tattoed, and you don't have a lion neither. It was my first tiger," she added, running down a wrinkled finger along the lines. "It suits you," she said with a smile that showed her missing teeth.

Sumi took her hands and bowed her head. "Thank you Madam Sachio."

"Thanks to you. My grand-daughter Kikuko would not be home if it weren't for you."

Sumi smiled. Since she came back to Konoha, her life gave a 180 degree change. From being a nobody, she was now a village hero. Her exploits during the Kusagakure's siege exaggerated with each new retelling. She covered her tattoo carefully with her pants. A traditional Matsu tattoo was useful. Matsu warriors that had a lion companion used these tattoos to invoke their beasts fast in battle. Once Haruki would grow, she could do the same. That was her first wish to Matsu Kibo, the head of the Matsu clan and she accepted.

With a light happy gait, she ran outside of her district, Haruki following animatedly. She crossed the busy streets, jumped over a fence to take a shortcut until she was in the training grounds near the forest. Anko and Uta were already there warming up with some friendly sparring. They stopped to greet her warmly. This was her new team. Their teacher was a bit weird, almost disturbing, but he was one of the great sennins, Orochimaru.

This had been her second petition, to be declared gennin and to join a team of ninjas. Of course, she had hoped to be in Kakashi's team, but she was satisfied with her new teammates. They had accepted her from day one and she was grateful for it. Today their training was going to be light, for tomorrow they had a mission to carry out. Despite the latest victories, war was far from finished, and new countries were starting aditional skirmishes. It did not paint well. Orochimaru briefed them in their tasks. They had to collect information that was being exchanged in a village somewhere in the Rivers Land by infiltration. In and out. No fighting ideally. So they mostly trained subtlety and Sumi learned a great deal.

"Do you want to come with us, Sumi? We are going to eat some snacks," Anko called out to her once they were finished.

Sumi smiled but shook her head. "I am sorry. There is something I need to do!"

"Too bad!" the other girl laughed.

In what had become her standard speed, Sumi ran back to the center of the village and tried to find her way to her objective. She had never been in this part of the city, so she almost got lost and missed the Uchiha district. Faces turned her way and she felt she stood out as a sore thumb, her hair still blond and her matching eyes between a sea of black hair heads and inquisitive dark eyes. She was still growing used to the murmurs that rose at her pass, the stares that tried to figure out if it was indeed the girl that had disobeyed the orders and endangered everybody just to save her friends. Some considered it brave, some foolishness. She thought herself it had been a bit of both.

"Excuse me, I am looking for Uchiha Eichi," she asked an old lady next to a vegetables shop. "Do you know where I can find him?"

The woman studied her for a moment, then decided to be nice. "Continue straight until the big building, then three houses to the right. The one with the purple roof."

"Thank you."

It was easy enough to find and she hesitated in the door, before to knock softly. She heard screams from the inside, a woman, saying something about waiting and coming. The paper door opened and her face changed expression when she saw the little blonde girl outside. She was suddenly nervous, even more so than Sumi. "Oh, excuse me," she bowed her head lightly, "I did not know who it was. Please come in. Can I get you something? A drink?"

Sumi made a negative sign with her hand. "I am just looking for Uchiha Eichi."

The woman, still wearing an apron and flour marks in her hair and face, told her, "That is my son. I will call him. He will be here shortly. Please take a seat." Then she left somewhere else in the house, but Sumi did not take a seat and checked the pictures in the living room while she waited. They looked like a humble but happy family. Chizuki would have fit here, she thought.

A boy a few years older than her came in the room, looking flustered. "Can I help you?"

Sumi had to admit that he was handsome. Yes, he would have been a perfect match for her friend. "I came to give you this," she said, taking out the love letter she had not dared to read. "I am sorry is a bit... bloody. It is from a friend. I am afraid she cannot give it to you personally anymore."

His almond eyes looked from the letter and back to her. "I don't know..."

"Her name was Chizuki. You spoke once to her, but maybe you don't remember. But she was a good girl. Probably the nicest," Sumi added and left.

Eichi's mother came down so fast she almost tripped over her apron, as soon as she heard the front door. "So, how was it?" she asked excited to her son. "She confessed to you? She would be a great match, she is a hero now." Her son gaped, his pretty eyes unseeing as he kept them fixed at the door. "Eichi?" she asked, noticing just then the blood stained paper in his hands.

"I am sorry mother. I am afraid she was just a messenger for the death."

Sumi's race was not finished. She was late now. She crossed again Konoha. Not many people were on the street, so she won a bit of time. In times of war, people preferred to mourn at home. She sprinted through her clan's district's doors and a cloud of sand rose as she entered the training courtyard.

"Sumi, late again," Matsu Airi said with a stern voice. She had left it clear from day one that she would not make any preferential treatment. "You will clean and tidy up after we are finished. Again."

Sumi nodded and took her place between the other students. She was two heads taller and around five years older in average. But this was her third and last request to Kibo. To be trained in the Matsu's rage techniques, to get that knowledge, to share that tradition.

These were the three things she asked for and she was granted. It was everything she had always wished. People on the village recognised her value. She had made her family proud, even her mother supported her now in her decisions. She was learning and improving faster than she had ever done. She was at peace with herself, but also with those that were no longer in this world. She was going on adventures, albeit dangerous ones, but she was finding out how to cope with it. Yes, her life was everything she wanted it to be. But then, why did she feel empty? Was she missing something?

"You don't like the rice, Sumi?" Hina asked her over diner. "You look... pensive."

"Oh, it's nothing," Sumi said and took a mouthful of rice as if to prove her point.

Hina paused to drink. "I heard you went to visit an Uchiha boy," she spoke as she placed the cup back in the table.

Naoko smirked. "I heard it too."

It flustered Sumi. How fast news traveled! She now felt her every move observed by the villagers. "I just went to give a letter from a friend."

"Because you know, the Uchiha family has been problematic in past times, but they are still one important clan," Hina commented casually.

"It was nothing. I have no interest in boys now, mother," Sumi complained. "I must focus on my training."

"I would not mind dating an Uchiha," Naoko added. She had turned just fourteen.

"Naoko!" Sumi reprimanded her.

Hina laughed. "Maybe leave the Uchiha for your sister, Naoko" she teased.

"Mother!" Sumi exclaimed. "I won't date anybody. Period."

"Well, that's sad," Naoko said. "You will end up alone surrounded by cats."

"Nonsense," Hina interrupted. "One day you will realize you are missing something, someone, in your life."

Sumi casted her eyes down. Her food was now cold. "I will clean up," she said, starting to gather the dishes under the complacent eyes of her mother.

The tree stump was still there, just as she remembered it, and moss started to cover its back side as winter approached. Looking at the dew that made nature sparkle before her eyes, she felt a shiver of cold, and she became conscious that she had forgotten Kakashi's birthday. She had come back yesterday from their mission in the River's Country and Orochimaru had given them a day off.

"Oh, you are back!" a familiar voice exclaimed and as she turned her head she saw a flash of red. Kushina took her place in the second stump. "I heard that now you have a team." Sumi nodded. "Guess you don't need me to train anymore, you know," she laughed.

"I would love to train with you again if we have the time," Sumi smiled faintly at her.

Kushina lifted an eyebrow, "I see you have changed. There is a new confidence in you. It suits you. Makes you even more adorable!" she squeaked as she dragged Sumi into a tight embrace that took off the air from her lungs. "Why do you look so serious? You are cuter when you smile," she said as she forced a smile on Sumi's face.

"I am just nervous," Sumi confessed, looking forward to the kids training in the forest clearing with Minato. "I am going to do it today," she glanced at Kushina. "I will tell him... well, that I-I... umh... what I do... I mean..." Where were her guts? She had gone in head first in a war that did not call her, but now she could not put together a few words to confess a stupid child crush. Before she arrived to the training grounds, she had felt invincible, bold, and now she was back to the shy mess she used to be.

"Don't forget to breath," Kushina laughed as they saw the three ninjas in the field ready to part ways. Minato was already heading their way, when Sumi waved her arm at her friend and called his name. He looked at her and... left. With Rin. Had he not seen her? She could swear she saw him look her way. She grasped now at what she missed. He had been absent since her return.

"I am sure he did not see you," Kushina told her, placing a hand in her slumped shoulder.

Minato arrived and kissed his girlfriend on the cheek before turning to the kid that still stared at the empty grounds. "Kakashi is going through a difficult time," he said. "Just give him time."

Time. Such an imprecise concept. Unfortunately, Minato never specified how much time to give. Would she have known how much time she had to spare, she could have set a deadline. 'Out of my ten time, I would give him three time before to move on'. But time sometimes seemed to slow down. Days become weeks at a painfully lazy rate when you wait for something you want. She might also have given him more time had she known why he avoided her, why he preferred to spend his time with Rin. Had she better understood his grief, his promise to Obito to keep Rin safe, a promise he did not figured out himself, maybe things would have turned out different.

Sometimes he would spare her some of his time. Brief glimpses into a friendship that crumbled under the trauma of war. She did not know what to say to fix it and he did not know how to stop it from breaking. Things he could not speak about, words she could not understand. With Rin, he did not need to speak about it; she had been there, she had suffered the same, lost the same. Conversations were dull, smiles absent, feelings faked. At least, war kept them busy.

That day they departed with a 'see you around'. They knew it could be the last, they hoped it would not.

Sumi came back home with the same dreadful feeling, the bitter taste that her encounters with Kakashi left. The Sun was setting down and the paper walls filtered a regal orange glow in the house. Her mother should be cooking dinner by now and her sister Naoko in her room. So why did she hear them laugh in the living room? She stepped in and found they had guests. Aperitif had already been served and her mother and sister looked spotless.

"Here she is!" Hina exclaimed with a big smile. "This is my daughter Sumi. Sumi, these are Hyūga Juro and Miu and their son Hoheto," she introduced them. Sumi bowed in courtesy, feeling disconnected, confused. "She has been training hard lately. She aspires to be one of this village's best kunoichis. If she is not already. But that might just be the mother in me speaking," Hina laughed. "Darling, why don't you go upstairs and clean yourself. Dinner is cooking and will be ready in some time."

Time. This was not the right time for this, Sumi thought, but obliged. When she reached her room, she saw her mother had already laid in her bed the picked up attire for the soiree. Hina never left anything to luck. The kimono had still the price tag and Sumi gasped at it. Even Haruki was wearing a lace around its neck. Ridiculous. She took it off and used it to play with him for a while. She took her time before to come down.

Those white eyes, pupil-less, penetrating, disturbed her. But she had learned to read the expressions on them through her mother.

"Darling, Sumi," Hina called. "Why don't you sit and recount them how you did it to save your teammates? I tried to tell the story, but you do so so much better."

Sumi took her assigned place, next to Hoheto Hyūga, who looked her age and as much appalled by the event as herself. She took a deep breath. 'Her story'. She was sick of it. As a machine, she recited the Kusagakure's siege. The repetition had made her words lose emotion. Was she destined to lose everything she worked for? Her mother, as many others, did not understand she had not done what she did to become a hero; she was scared and wanted to survive.

"An impressive feat for such a young girl," Juro said. "I feel honored we could listen what happened from yourself."

"It was nothing," Sumi moved her hand dismissively.

"She is so humble. I was so worried," Hina added. "She was offered to serve our Fire Lord, but she has decided to stay in Konoha to protect us all. Every day I am grateful to the gods for having gifted me such a daughter."

"We are also grateful for our son. He is working hard to become a jounin," Miu said. Her short hair gave her a modern allure, rejuvenating her.

They heard a whistling sound from the kitchen and Hina and Naoko rose to attend to dinner. Sumi fidgeted in her seat; she wish she had her mother's silver tongue. "So... how is your clan?"

She wished to slap her head against the low table and die away from the awkwardness…

"So... your name... is that because of the poem? Iroha? Iro ha nihoheto," Sumi started.

Hoheto laughed. It was only the second time they were alone and they both felt uncomfortable in each other's presence still. Five weeks had passed since the first dinner and the meetings between both families had multiplied since then. It had actually been his mother that had reached to Hina. They both had children the same age. Well, not exactly, Sumi was one year younger. Nothing to fret about. Hina was ecstatic. Sumi had never seen her mother covered in such happiness, such glee. She liked it. Now she could speak freely with her, spent the quality time she felt she had been stolen as a child. They went out for strolls together, cleaned the family shrine while humming cheerful tunes... they even went once to the theatre house in Tsuma.

The other upside was Hoheto. Despite her initial annoyance, Sumi had discovered that she could not dislike him. He was attentive and well-spoken, a simple boy. And he despised his mother's matchmaking as much as Sumi did Hina's. The longer time they spent together, she even realized he was not that bad-looking. His long black hair looked silky and he kept it out of his face with a high ponytail. His skin was tan and his eyes... she could see kindness and affection in them.

"It was my mother that chose it," he answered. "Why did they call you Sumi?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it was my mother too."

Her smile was suddenly erased from her face as her eyes scanned the busy street for signs of who she had just glimpsed. "Sumi, is everything ok?" Hoheto asked.

She nodded slowly, but the feeling of cold water running down her back stuck with her. Was she imagining things or had she seen Kakashi? How long was it since they last spoke? Time had flown. When had he left her mind?

"Do you want to go back home?" Hoheto suggested. "It is getting late."

Her eyes still lost in the crowd, she shook her head. "No, we have time."


	14. Interlude: father

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

She entered the shrine with little shy steps, like a thief in a good family house. Maybe it was that feeling, for she was a thief somehow. The mask in her hand weighed heavy as a reminder. Carefully, as a mother tucking her children to bed, she placed the item next to the imposing statue. She waited for the breeze of wind, for the candles to flicker, but none came. Had she done it wrong? Was her sin unforgivable for her ancestors?

"What are you doing here, Sumi?" a voice called from behind. Such a velvety voice could belong to no other than Matsu Kibo. Sumi thought that would she not be a warrior, the woman would have made a fine singer.

Despite her power position, Sumi felt at ease around Kibo. Maybe it was because the woman had shown nothing but kindness and mercy to her. "I came to give this back to my grandmother," she said, showing the mask. She had cleaned and polished it the previous night, try to make amends.

Kibo laughed. "Your grandmother?" she asked, looking pointedly at the statue. Sumi's eyes travelled also up. Her grandmother must have been formidable, to have a shrine to herself. She nodded. Kibo knelt next to her and made an offering of incense. "Do you know who this woman is?"

"My grandmother...," Sumi muttered. Was she?

Kibo bowed to the statue. "This is Matsu, our clan founder. The woman that first had a lion as a companion, that refused marriage to a kami to become a hero, blessed with the fury, born a leader, great warrior during the First War, the epitome of all we aspire to be, the example to follow..." Sumi's eyes grew wide at her words and she bowed to the statue so fast and so low that her forehead hit the tiled floor and left her a bump. "Why do you think this is your grandmother, Sumi?" Kibo asked amused.

Sumi stuttered. "I-I just... I thought-thought that she spoke to me... Must have imagined it."

Kibo turned to her, "She might not be your grandmother, but I see now that her spirit burns in you." Her golden eyes rose to the fierce but placid face of Matsu. "Although I must admit I am a bit disappointed that you do not accept to become part of the capital's guard, I am sure you will grow up to be a fine kunoichi, someone to make this clan, and Matsu, proud."

Sumi blushed. So many nice words had been spoken to her in the past days, but none had touched her like those Kibo dedicated her. They warmed her heart, but they also weighed on her shoulders.

With a last bow to the statue and a hand tousling Sumi's hair, Kibo left.

With a last bow to the statue and a soft whispered 'thank you', Sumi left too.

She had another shrine to visit, albeit smaller and more crowded. This time, she placed the mask in front of the right statue, lighted her incense offering and closed her eyes until she could feel the gentle caress of the breeze. When she opened them, she was no longer alone. A woman with light hair and golden eyes in her thirties and a simple man with a gentle smile hugged each other, enjoying what they could not do before death.

She was a ninja now, and she knew she should not do so, but Sumi shed tears as the pressure of the last days, the violent images, the new-found expectations, they washed over her.

"My daughter, why do you cry?" Hachiro Ikoma asked.

"Father, I am sorry," she answered between sobs.

"What there is to be sorry about?" he replied with a laugh. "You kept your promise and made me proud."

"You made us all proud," the woman added. "My grandchild, I heard many stories about your courage and goodness from a girl that knew you by another name."

Sumi paused, frowned, until she understood. "Chizuki," she whispered, and closed her eyes to pry away from them the tears. Or was it the pain of what was lost during the battle?

"I must admit it maddened me to know my mask despoiled. These sacred masks, they are supposed to be worn only by their owner. That's the reason we are normally buried with them," her grandmother explained. "But I am sure not even Matsu would oppose to look away for the greatness of Konoha, and, above all, the survival of the pride."

Sumi nodded at her words.

Her father stepped forward. "I feel a long path ahead of you, my dear. The world is convulsed and times are dire, but I will always be here if you do not find your way. There is so much potential in you, my summer child," he said and his hand rose to caress her cheek, but it passed through. To her, it was a gentle breeze that moved her hair. "You can be whoever you want to be, always keep it in mind."

"I will, father," she told him.

"I love you, my daughter."

"I love you too."

Sumi saw with sadness as both ghosts turned to leave back to their statues, this gate that guided them to her world. She wondered what existence was like on the other side, the one they inhabited. They seemed content, so it reassured her.

"Oh, I will now take this," her grandmother said and grabbed the lion mask. It became translucent, leaving Sumi's world to return to its rightful owner.

Sumi rose, put off the incense and the candles in the altar and she went out. Smiling.


	15. First scroll: end

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Her hair had grown, was the first thing he noticed. How much time had passed since they last spoke? She could now braid it behind her head, close to her scalp. It had also returned the natural black color and he wondered if she had to use a product to wash away the blond. The second thing he noticed was how she had changed over the years, how she started to look her age. Or was it him that never really looked at her? It was probably that; he had taken her for granted, for a decor to his life.

Something that had been stolen now. Stolen when? Spring had passed them without a word.

"How are you doing?" Sumi asked, her feet dangling over the river.

"I have not seen you much," Kakashi answered instead. He had no patience to chit-chat.

"We all have been busy," she replied. She had grown tense. Was this why he had asked her to go for a walk? To tell her off?

"You have new friends," he continued.

"They are my mother's friends," she tried to keep her calm.

He took a stone and threw it, making it bounce in the water. He did not count how many times, as they used to. Today the competition was another. "I thought you didn't follow the life your mother set for you anymore."

She scoffed. "I always listen to the good advice, regardless of who speaks it."

He nodded and threw a second stone. "Is that why you have been busy?"

She took a stone and threw it with such a force that it reached the other side of the river and he raised an eyebrow. She could feel her anger boiling. Why could she not control it? She took a deep breath, it calmed her down. A bit. "As I said, we have both been busy."

He turned to her. "What does that even mean?"

She tried to reach for another stone, but found none and plucked the grass instead. "You have been avoiding me. Since the whole... since Kanabi bridge... you don't speak to me anymore. You just go around alone... or with Rin."

He squinted at her. He knew he should have shut up before he even spoke, but he did it anyways. "Are you jealous?" She sat up and marched down along the river, back home. He rose and chased after her. "Sumi!"

"You are jealous!" She stabbed him with a recriminatory finger in the chest.

He snorted. "Nonsense," he said calmly. "I just don't understand you. You always said this was not who you were but yet you follow your mother's wishes."

She filled her lungs with air, ready to scream again at him, but then relaxed. The reality left her feeling tired and deflated. She spoke in a whisper, for she had no energy to do so otherwise, "Maybe they are my wishes too." Then, with heavy steps, as if a magnetic force pulled her to stay, she turned and left.

This time, he did not follow.

She replayed their conversation in her mind at night and day. She imagined a thousand other ways their encounter could have ended. What a beautiful power would be the ability to rewrite time! The only times Kakashi left her shaken mind were when she was fighting, so she asked to take in as many missions as she could. It helped her to avoid Hoheto too. She felt dishonest in his presence. She liked him but she wished she could feel for him. Her life would surely be great next to him, no complications, no twisted emotions. He could cherish her, see her grow. It was the dream life she was ready to turn down.

"What shall I do, father?" she asked. It was night and she could not sleep. She wished to ease her mind, to find advice.

And Hachiro, even as a ghost, had plenty of that. "If you are here I think you already know the answer, my dear. But if it helps, what would you be able to give up and live without regrets? Friendship? Love?"

"I would not be able to give up who I am, father," she answered after a long pause.

"And who are you, Sumi?" he asked her.

Her head dropped. "I don't know..."

"Then maybe you should find who you are first. Fight for yourself and those you love, and the rest will come along."

She looked up to say goodbye, but his image was already gone. She kissed the tip of her fingers and touched his statue, "Thank you."

The news had reached her while she was away, on a mission. She had rushed through the streets, to the hospital, but never crossed the door. 'Find who I am', she repeated herself. No, she could not go to see Kakashi, even if he had been hurt, until her mind was at ease, until she could unravel the turmoil in her heart.

"Do not forget, tomorrow we have guests," her mother reminded her when she got home. 'Who I am?' she thought, not paying her much attention. Haruki jumped at her when she entered her room. He was one year old now and almost the size of an adult tiger. He spent more and more time outside the house, who knew where. She hugged him back, bending a bit under his weight. "Who I really am?" she asked him, but he just jumped on her bed to snooze off.

Hina was a bunch of nerves. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that the head of the clan, Hiashi, would come personally to her house. And after the whole ordeal with Kumogakure! What a distasteful incident... She better advice Sumi to not mention it, knowing her lack of social skills, it would be very like her to do so. She had bought new plates for the occasion. She did not trust her normal ones to be pretty enough, clean enough. The table's cloth, she had it custom made for the evening. She picked up also the new three kimonos this morning. How she had been running around! Everything had to be perfect. She felt a tinge of sadness; she would have wished Hachiro to be here, to see how her daughter, the wild and uncouth, married into the Hyūga family. Sumi was her diamond; she had failed to see the beauty in her, the potential.

She dressed Sumi herself. Made sure not a single wrinkle subtracted from the red kimono's beauty. She also applied her make-up - the girl did not know how to - and made her hair. She had been so worried they would never get out the blonde out of her. Luckily Akemi had found the right herb combination to dye it back to its lush black.

"You let me do the speaking, ok? Only answer when they ask you a question," she told Sumi as a last remark before she opened the doors to Juro and Miu Hyūga, their son Hoheto, clan head Hiashi Hyūga and his wife Hitomi. "It is a pleasure to receive you."

"How have you been?" Hoheto asked Sumi as they installed in the living room. She just smiled even if she did not feel like it. When had she started to play her mother's game?

She mused over this question as they had lunch. Conversation was dull, she found. They were all fake. Was she dishonest too? Was this who she truly was? Had she ever been truly herself? She felt prisoned between two opposites, ying and yang, fake and real, happiness and sadness, love and hate... This grey zone she was in, it did not bring her comfort.

"You look a bit pale, Sumi. Do you want to go to the garden? Take some air?" Hoheto proposed her and she accepted. She needed air. She sat between magnolias. She just had not expected him to follow. "I noticed you have been avoiding me."

"Excuse me?" Was this a déjà vu?

"Your mother told me to give you time. To let you get used to this, to... us," he explained. Time. Why did she feel out of time? "I must confess, I really like you. I am afraid I am losing you..." If she had to lose one thing, what would that be? He took her hands in his. "If there is something that troubles you, just know that I am here. You can see me as a friend, someone you can lean on..." Friendship? Without notice, he planted a chaste kiss in her cheek. Love?

The pieces fell together. Her eyes opened wide and she sat up abruptly. "That's it! I see it know," she said to no one in particular. "I am sorry, so sorry."

She did not wait for his words; instead she stormed into the living room and crossed it. Her mother was fast - could have made a good kunoichi - as she grabbed her by the arm. "Where are you going?" she said between gritted teeth.

"I must go, mother," Sumi answered quietly.

"We have important guests," Hina stressed. Her eyes looked crazed.

Sumi freed her arm and turned to the chatting table. Nobody seemed aware of her odd behaviour. Until she spoke, "I am sorry to all the present. I must leave now. I have something I must do. You can stay and enjoy my mother's company. She thinks very highly of you. Maybe we can see each other another time... as friends."

"As family," Hina corrected.

"I am afraid that will not happen," Sumi said. "You are all very nice people, but I need to choose some things in my life by myself. It is the only way I know to learn."

"Sumi! Sumi!" she heard her mother yell after her as she sprinted out of her district. She felt brimming with energy, drunken off clarity. She ran without direction or purpose. She just ran, following an instinct, like the birds that fly south in winter. She ran free and unprepared, she ran for fun, like kids do, for she was still one at heart. And when her legs ached and her ragged breath pierced her lungs, when she could run no more, she stopped, for she had found what she looked for.

Kakashi saw her arrive, running wild, like a foal that has found the strength in its haunches. Her once perfect hairdo had now locks of hair framing her flustered face. Her pink painted lips were parted as she recovered. But her eyes, oh, her eyes shone like gold, content. He could not share any of her feelings as he stood in front of Rin's grave.

She took a few tentative steps towards him and he was ready to leave, like a cornered animal waiting to flee, but then she turned towards the engraved stone he had been staring at for the past couple of hours. The first drop of rain painted a trail on it. She fell to one knee, her hands to her hair, and unclasped the beautiful silver flower barrette that kept her braid together. Then, she clasped it over the brim of the flower glass, letting it rejoin the other flowers he had placed.

She rose again. Her expensive kimono was now dirty with mud and wet with rain. They looked at each other. How much time had they kept their eyes closed to who they were? Watching without seeing. Feeling without emotions.

Then, she threw her arms around him and hugged him. With no expectations. As friends do.

And he hugged her back. Clumsily, for he had not much experience.

And words were not needed, for the sentiment was sincere and it was enough.

And in the rain there were no tears, for ninja's rules forbid them to cry.

"I really thought this was the end," a man that watched the scene from afar commented.

His companion, another man, laughed, "You always prepared for the worst even before it happened, Sakumo." In their casual conversation, both ghosts were unbothered by the rain. Hachiro smiled, "And anyways even if it would have been the end, there is but one certainty: every end marks a new beginning."


	16. Second scroll: out

**Author's note:** thanks to Cnidri for the review! I hope Sumi can still grow throughout this story :)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

_Shed the bones, change the face_ \- Chinese proverb

The rain was still relentless, washing over the leftovers of her fears and doubts. She and Kakashi had parted like they had met, without a word shared, yet she felt they had spoken more than they had in years. He asked for patience and something else he did not know yet; she asked for him to be there, to not disappear from her life again.

With the merriness of the fool and the drunkard, she traced back her steps home, wishing for a hot bath to warm her trembling bones. She sneezed as the cold settled cozily somewhere in her chest. The flimsy kimono, with its expensive silk, was not a match for the rain.

She frowned when she saw her sister's Naoko silhouette from afar, searching the comfort of the house's twisted roofs as she waited in front of the door to their house.

"Naoko!" Sumi exclaimed with a laugh, "Get back in or you will get a cold!"

But the stern expression, a foreign sight in Naoko's face, did not match the joy in her sister's words. As Sumi marched towards the door, Naoko placed a hand in her shoulder. It was the gesture, not the force - which was nothing but a gentle touch - that stopped her.

"What is going on?" Sumi asked, bewildered.

"You cannot come in," Naoko answered, without daring to meet her eyes. "Mom does not want you to."

Sumi shook her head. "What? What are you saying? You cannot be serious... Naoko, let me in! I will speak with her."

As she brushed off her hand, Sumi tried to reach for the door, but Naoko stepped in front of it. "It is better if you just leave."

Sumi opened her mouth to argue, but instead decided to take a few steps back, and screamed, "Mother! Mother, please! Mother! Mother!" she sobbed, "Mother, speak to me! Mother! Don't do this!" A last whispered 'please' escaped her now tired lips and she fell to the floor as the energy, the adrenaline that had made her invincible left her body and she became a simple mundane human once more, bound to distress and misery. In one moment, she ran out of happiness.

Still looking at the grey clouds, that poured their rage down roofs and the miserable, Naoko said, "I will fetch your things."

She wandered; Sumi walked the remaining of the day, aimlessly, uncaring. The prettiness of her clothes did not hide anymore her misfortune - how insulting! She was not brave enough to ask for help; or maybe it was her pride...

The dark clouds barely let the Sun announce the beginning of the day, and he brought new hopes. She made her way back home, tried to tidy herself, look her best, rearrange the hair, finish to erase the smudges of makeup. Then she called and she called and waited. And waited for hours. And called and cried. And when the Sun left, the night stole the last of her hopes and she started to wander again. Was this how ghosts were born, wandering souls that could not find their way home?

When tiredness was overwhelming her path, she found a quiet corner outside her clan's district, and rested her eyes. She tried to sleep between coughs and sneezes.

The next day, she tried again to gain her mother's compassion, to commit to her mercy, but the door remained unmoving. She tried her sisters' houses, but they were full of well-rehearsed excuses. That night was the worst, for she understood the finality of her plight. That night she thought about Kakashi, she imagined how he would not doubt to help her, but her reflection in the windowpane deterred her from it. She was ashamed...

When the morning came, she went to the public baths, paid her fare, washed and put on new clothes. The sad kimono, she threw it away, as an animal that sheds its skin and forgets about what used to be pretty shiny scales. Then she hid her three bags with the little belongings Naoko had gathered and Sumi reported back to her team.

That day they departed on a mission, the last one they had to accomplish in times of war. She had made it, she had survived it, fought in it, turned a homeless hero, lost a family, regained a broken friend.

A friend she did not dare now to meet, scared of finding pity behind the mask he wore to face this world that had been already too unkind towards him. She was doing exactly what she had promised she would not do again. And yet, unbeknownst to her, he was so lost in a dark place that he did not even realize he missed her.

She retook her missions, she retook her training, she remade a fake appearance of normalcy in her daily life. However, at night, she switched places to hide from the eyes of the village and cry to sleep.

Her Matsu training was cancelled that day for the celebration of the new Hokage. She saw the ceremony from afar, with disinterest, as her eyes were trained towards her friend. How long had she been avoiding Kakashi? Coming slowly to terms with her new situation, she walked towards him between the crowd and followed beside.

"How have you been?" she asked after a few minutes of quiet march. Had he even noticed her?

He simply nodded.

"I am sorry I have not been much around. I, umh... I had some... I have been busy," she lied.

He nodded once more. He truly felt no anger towards her abandon. He was indifferent.

"Do you want to go grab something to eat?" she proposed. He shook his head. "Sit by the river?" Same answer.

As he turned around a corner, she understood the path they had taken: he was headed to Konoha's memorial. She slowed down. "I guess I will see you around," she spoke to his back. She saw his head move as he nodded.

She understood and turned on her heels, only to come nose to nose with the weirdest guy she had ever met before. Someone with a lack of style that would send her mother to the tomb, with the worst haircut possible, with impossible eyebrows and with a strangely perfect smile.

"Guy, Kakashi's best friend," he introduced himself, forcing an awkward, albeit short, handshake, "Who are you?"

She blinked in confusion.

"What is your relationship with Kakashi?" he shot back.

For an odd reason, she blushed, but quickly recovered. "He is my friend. Who are you?"

"His best friend."

"Okay."

He folded his arms. "Alright."

They seized each other. "What is his birthday?" he suddenly asked.

"September 15."

"Hobbies?"

"Easy. Reading."

"Favorite food?"

"Miso soup with eggplant."

"Size of-"

She raised her hands up. "Okay, what is the meaning of this? Look... um, Guy... I have other things to do..."

She moved to leave, but his tone changed. "You are also worried, right?"

It was the beginning of a long sweet friendship born out of worry, fear and concerns. Who knew something good could come out of such hideous feelings?

Days later she overheard that Kakashi had ended in a hospital room. Matsu Airi would make her polish the Matsu weapon collection for skipping a lesson again, but she did not think about it twice as she ran to the hospital.

She asked the nurse at the desk for his room number and she climbed the stairs to the second floor. The white walls, the smells of chemicals, the sad expressions, it all made her shiver. Sumi did not like hospitals.

She knocked softly in his door and with little steps entered. He was awake, reading an infamous book that took off minutes of sleep from her unhappy nights.

"How are you?" she asked, flopping down next to his bed, letting for once her tiredness show in that small gesture.

He put the book away. "I am ok."

She thought he would end their conversation there and send her away, but he spoke again, "Minato sensei visited. Just before you arrived."

She nodded. "He cares for you."

"He wants me to join the ANBU."

Her eyes widened and she gasped. "You should not tell me this... but... this is great news, isn't it?" She smiled. "He sees your talent... recognizes your skill. He is the Forth Hokage now, he knows what is best."

He nodded slowly, but she knew it was a formality; she knew he did not believe her, the same way he doubted himself.

"I brought you some soup," she offered.

He nodded again.

She felt drained as she left the hospital, the orange in the sky tying a knot in her stomach. Night would fall again soon and with it, her torture would re-start, this endless wandering to nowhere. She felt uncertainty but also hope for Kakashi. He was still climbing up, even in his lowest. She was still a genin... A foreboding uneasiness took her breath away, a growing peak of anxiety, as she picked her bag - she had gotten rid of some items along the nights.

An image crossed her mind. A memory of easiest times, a period she now felt she had not enjoyed enough. The image of a simple man with a kind smile that would surely have the right words to ease her pain, to erase her doubts. But as she could not go back home, she could neither access the shrine where her father rested. Was he oblivious to her peril?

With these thoughts in mind she walked to the Matsu district, her feet taking her to a familiar place, where she wondered if he could hear her, if somebody could. And deciding to rest there for a while - the time for the rain to cease to attack her lithe frame -, she fell asleep, curled up as an infant under the motherly figure of the imposing statue of Matsu.


	17. Interlude: Matsu Kibo

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Matsu Kibo had adopted this ritual since she was first named head of her family. Every morning, with unforgiving punctuality, she woke up, refreshed, dressed in simple clothes and walked in the fresh morning to the Matsu shrine next to her residence. There, she would ceremoniously clean the table in front of the masterpiece sculpture, deposit newly cut flowers, and ensure the two candles in her honor, her door to this world, remained lighted.

In the meantime, she would speak with Matsu; talk to her about her problems, the issues of the family, their achievements, she would ask sometimes for forgiveness, she would sometimes thank her...

For the first time in twenty-three years, her ritual was interrupted. Matsu Kibo gathered the young girl in her arms with the softness of a mother.

"Sumi? Are you okay?" she asked sweetly, worried etched in her frown. Years had treated her well despite her hardships, and she barely looked her fifty one years old.

The girl opened her eyes, golden as hers, and moved away, scared, then bashful.

"Matsu Kibo sensei," she bowed. "I am sorry, I-I must have fainted..."

As sharp as a woman with her experience, Kibo eyed the bag sprawled in front of the altar, and the tiger that had served the girl as pillow. Haruki tended now to appear and disappear as he pleased, as he traveled his moody teenage years. "Sumi, is everything alright?" She saw the hesitation. "You know you can tell me."

Sumi heard the concern in her voice and the days - or was it weeks now - of suffering made her resolve fail and her facade crumble down.

"I am homeless," she confessed in a whisper.

"What do you mean?"

"My mother kicked me out..."

"Why? Wait, I don't need to know," she said and proposed her an open hand. "Come on!"

Sumi took it and the older woman helped her up. "Where?"

"Well, we need to get new flowers for Matsu, these are ugly now," she pointed at the few selected purple flowers at her feet. Kibo did not understand much about flowers, but she thought these purple ones pretty, and they grew conveniently next to the district's training grounds. "But how about we get a breakfast first?"

"Matsu sensei-"

Kibo took her bag and headed out of the shrine, the light coming through the doors wrapping her in a warm light as the storm finally left Konoha for new lands, "Just call me Kibo."

And the breakfast invitation extended over days, then weeks and finally months. Kibo did not know why she took the girl in, but she did not bother to apply logic to it either. She had been raised to act on impulses - strategy and reflection was for the Ikoma, the other side of her family. Maybe it was because she acknowledged the girl's dedication, her efforts when training, the time she took to improve her technique. Matsu Kibo believed little in the talent of geniuses faced with the ardor of the committed. She had seen that passion before, in her own eyes.

Matsu Kibo had been a nobody once too. She still considered herself one, despite her position. A young ungainly girl orphaned by the war, legs too long, a crooked smile and a lot of aspirations. A nobody that impressed the house leader of that time, Matsu Yunaki, with nothing but hard work. This one was already an old grumpy woman with the fire of a youngster when she made Kibo her assistant. Kibo had stayed in that post for thirteen years, until she turned twenty six. Thirteen years she used to learn, to observe, to memorize every word from Matsu Yunaki, every lesson, to train, to continue her duty to her clan...

Matsu Yunaki died when Kibo was twenty six years old, in her bed, placidly, in her sleep, with a clear conscience as the elder was sure to have taken the right decision for the clan when she declared Kibo her replacement. It was not a question of heritage: Yunaki had two daughters, but they had both grown comfortable in the luxury of their residence, of their position. No, such a military family did not bother about bloodlines. The pride must survive, and sometimes that means a new leader, a nobody that built her future on her sweat and effort.

Kibo's dedication was not only towards her work, but mainly towards her clan and Matsu, and everything she represented. Maybe that had also moved her heart that morning she took Sumi in. The Kusagakure's hero, the girl inspired by the real Matsu. How many times Kibo had wished that she showed to herself! That the statue's lips moved to share her will... And Kibo was convinced she could see it in Sumi, that fire, that courage... The girl might not know it yet, but for Kibo, Sumi was the closest she would get to communicate with Matsu. She just needed the right direction, the right guidance...

But for whatever reason, Kibo took Sumi in almost like a daughter, a decision taken without much reflection that would change their lives forever.


	18. Second scroll: in

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

As water that filters through the cracks of a wall, making its way with its incessant drop, she made her way in through Kakashi's strongly built defenses, that wall he had built to detach himself from the cruelty of the world.

It didn't happen overnight and she saw the seasons change slowly as she achieved the first conversations, the first smiles, the first moments of comfortable silence.

It was not all her merit. Kakashi had been assigned to watch over Kushina, a mission he could not share with her, but that she eventually figured out. This retreat from the violence of their world seemed to appease his mind for a while, and to give him a new positive purpose.

And things changed greatly from that day on that she dared to ask for a favor:

"Orochimaru sensei has said that he thinks we are prepared for our chūnin exams..." she said, making her rock bounce eleven times on the calm river surface. Spring was dressing the riverbank with colors and the weather was nice enough to be out until late.

He chose the right size and shape, and his pebble bounced fourteen times, the same years he would be once most of summer would pass by. "It is time."

She snorted and her hands wriggled in nervousness, so she hid them amongst the wet grass. "I was thinking... well, maybe we could train together-"

"I don't have time," he interrupted.

"It's okay. Maybe you can help me when you are off duty..."

He pondered. It was true that he would go rusty if he did not train more; he did not want to confess that he itched for some action.

"Okay," he said, suddenly standing up and dusting off his pants.

"Okay?" she repeated, big eyes looking up to him.

"Yeah, let's go. If you don't start soon you will never be ready. Do you want to be a genin the rest of your life or what?"

She smiled and followed after him.

Spring passed them in a blur in which they rekindled an old friendship through hard work and discipline.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

They had been lying in the grass, watching the few clouds in the sky move without urgency, with a calmness that seemed to come back to their lives. They were tired, for they had been training for the last two hours; Kakashi was a strict teacher and gave her no rest. He sat up at her words.

He knew what she meant, but he still asked, "What do you mean?"

She sat up next to him and moved her arm to lift it to his face, to peel off the head protector covering his eye, but stopped midway. She was careful now, she did not want him to shy again from her. "Your eye. Can I see it?"

He paused. "For what?"

Oh, how she hated his stupid defensive questions. For what? Curiosity? Worry? Closeness? What did she know? She had heard so many stories about it by now...

To her surprise, with a single movement, he lifted the band and opened both his eyes. He heard the soft gasp that escaped her pink lips. He tried to read her reaction.

"What do you see?" she asked.

"Everything," he answered.

With a gentleness he did not recognise in her, she lowered slowly his headband, put it back over his eye and whispered, "thank you."

The end of spring settled a new anxiety in her chest: her exams were in summer and she felt unprepared. She was not as praised as Anko, she was still behind in her Matsu training and she felt she did not see Kakashi enough. These fears translated into a dangerous frustration.

"That's all you have learnt these last years?" Kakashi teased her with no other intention than to rile her up, to annoy her as he used to when they were kids. They were sparring like they had been doing the past two months, taking up his time when he was not watching over Kushina.

But for no particular reason, as important things happen sometimes, she saw red this time, let herself be taken over by that fury, that fire that now also burned deep in her gut. Matsu Airi sensei had spoken long about it, but Sumi felt it now for the first time. It was a rage that consumed her logic. She saw the kunai coming her way, but chose not to avoid it. With an indescribable horror he saw how his hand, the one holding the kunai, got tinted crimson as the weapon embedded in her right shoulder. Flashbacks clouded his vision, terrible nightmares that still haunted him at night. A similar situation, another face, a broken promise...

In his distress he did not see Sumi pull out the kunai and throw a powerful kick his way that sent him flying backwards against a tree. Since when was she so strong? With a speed unlike her, she was soon in front of him, ready to throw another punch his way. Since when was she so fast?

He evaded in time, but she managed to chase after him and he had to block a few hits before to realize that he had to shake off bad memories to not lose. And maybe something else...

He moved away his headband and relied on his sharingan to get a grasp of his situation. Yes, there was no doubt, her chakra, her speed, her strength... they had increased. He needed time to think. He used a body replacement technique to leave the open battlefield.

As he recollected his thoughts, calmed his breath, a deep growl interrupted his pause and he saw before the inevitable the orange flicker of the eyes of the tiger that turned around the tree he used as a resting spot.

On her side, Sumi had jumped over all the rules Airi had repeated her over and over; she might have actually back flipped over them. She had used a technique she did not master, she used it against a friend, she had lost herself in the sweet frenzy that only asked for more, and now, she no longer saw right from wrong, as Airi had said it could happen.

Her eyes scanned the riverbank, the trees, for a sign of Kakashi when a whistling sound next to her ear announced the kunai, and she jumped in time to avoid the flames of the explosive it carried, just as Kakashi had expected she would. As she was forced to fall to the ground, she felt the stones grip at her ankles and she knew he was there. Using her own Earth release, she hit the grass to open a small chasm that traveled towards him, that opened the ground under his feet. She punched her way out of his trap, almost unfeeling the crack in her knuckles, the warmth of the blood.

She ran to him, seeking that moment of unbalance, of surprise, that could be vital in a real battle, and aimed her kunai to his head. He grabbed her wrist with a strong hand and played his last card. He called her name.

The kunai fell.

His hand dropped. So did hers.

She took a few steps back, looked at her hands.

He watched her, unseeing.

She fled.

Spring left.

Summer arrived. And they had not spoken since.

Her exam was in two days and Kibo had told her to rest; it would made her no good to keep on training until exhaustion, she would need energy for the days to come. But under the August afternoon, the heat felt suffocating at home, despite her light dress. So she had decided to walk to the riverbank, take off her sandals and cool her feet under the moving water. It soothed her spirit and she closed her eyes in reflection, trying to escape from the regrets that replayed in her mind when she did not master it.

A soft breeze blew away some thin strands from her braid and they caressed her face. Her skin had now a healthy golden hue, witness to the hours spent outside. A shadow settled over her head and she opened her eyes to search for clouds in the sky. Finding none in the clear blue open, she turned around.

"Happy birthday," he said and placed the gift, wrapped in a paper with cute dog drawings, next to her hand.

She took the gift, surprised, but heard him leaving and called after, "Kakashi! Wait!"

He stopped. "It is just some useful things for your exam," he confessed before she could barely start to unwrap it.

Indeed, she found a small pouch with every basic item a ninja would need: kunai, shuriken, scrolls...

"Thank you," she muttered and he made to leave again, but she spoke up, "and I am sorry." He paused. "For everything." He nodded and left.

She smiled.

He spent around a month without seeing her. Kushina was by then big as a balloon and he secretly worried she might explode and deflate. He felt a presence arriving at the roof from where he observed, clad in his ANBU outfit, but put back in its pouch his kunai when he distinguished the approaching figure.

And before he could think of a smart remark, her arms flew around his neck and she hugged him in glee.

"I'm on duty," he complained and she let go of him. He took off his mask and hood.

"I am a chūnin, Kakashi," she announced. "I am a chūnin."

He laughed softly at her merriment. She could not hold herself from jumping and spinning around. It was contagious.

Her excitement died out and she just smiled at him and said, "thank you. I have got you this," she added, rummaging in her bag.

She pulled out a gift wrapped in paper with little cat drawings, but he raised his hands. "You don't have to."

She pushed it into his chest, for stubborn, and because she was sure he had forgotten. "Happy birthday."

And he had.

He opened it and found a book titled 'A new hope'. "Thank you," he said and sat back in the roof. She was going to leave, but he then asked, "So how was it?"

She beamed and sat next to him, fidgeting with excitement. "Well, first, I had not slept a minute the night before... I arrived feeling drained, and there was already everybody there and-oh, wait, did I tell you about the shoe? I have to..."


	19. Second scroll: lose

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

He was trying to shake Guy off, the last following him down the street with his usual flare, enthusiastically asking him for a match or something. He knew Sumi would be finished by now with her lessons in the Matsu dojo and he hoped to grab some dinner together or maybe just sit and talk. He was departing on a mission tomorrow and he would not have the time to see her before it if not now.

A strange feeling permeated the air and a worry grew in his heart. It was confirmed once they saw the Kyuubi appear. Young shinobi were led away, to the outskirts.

"I will be back," he told Guy quickly before to disappear.

Kakashi knew well the village and he quickly reached the Matsu district. As he had feared, chaos reigned; women of all ages grabbed at their weapons or carried away their injured. Several buildings had been reduced to rubble after the pass of the demon and his eyes searched frantically the crowd.

Luckily for him, the ebony hair stuck out in the sea of yellow manes and he ran to Sumi. She seemed upset and she screamed at a woman of elegant beauty.

"Go now!" Matsu Kibo ordered again. Her naginata in one hand and her lioness behind her, she looked like a warrior princess from a novel.

"I won't leave you all! I will fight with my friends, with the pride!" Sumi pleaded. Haruki was tense by her side.

Both women, fire in their eyes, argued in front of a crumbled statue that would have represented once the glory of a true leader.

"Sumi," he said and both stared at him, the same golden almond eyes only different by a few well-placed wrinkles and dark long eyelashes.

"You must be Kakashi," the older woman said and she put Sumi's hand in his. "Take her away," she commanded. "Run!"

And he did, pulling with him the crying girl, pulling stronger when he felt her push back, taking her away from an apparent doom, selfishly. "The Hokage told us to meet at the base," he said at some point, more to convince himself that he was doing the right thing than her.

But when they arrived to where the others had already been gathered, he found bitterly that it all had been a ruse to keep them out of the battle. Kurenai expressed Sumi's and others' discontent loudly, with harsh words, but her father was stoic. They were now the future of the village and as such they would sit back and watch it burn.

Kakashi could feel Sumi fuming next to him and the tension in the air was palpable. He wondered if she was mad at him, if she would forgive him. He knew she would probably not, but would she learn to live with it?

Excruciating hours passed slowly and at some point Sumi left his side to sit with Anko and Haruki, although the girls did not speak.

When the battle was over and much was lost, the barrier was dropped and Sumi left without a word. He went back home. He would take an hour off before to mourn, now such a familiar thing to do in his life. At least, for another day, he would not have to mourn her. He had done the right thing, no?

The day was still not upon them, although he doubted the Sun would dare to make an appearance under such desolation, when the ceremony was held. Konoha's citizens wore once again black to honor their loss, those that died heroically and those that just died, but that still would be remembered.

He felt a pain sadly familiar for a such a young boy and as he did the first time he lost his dad, he waited loneliness to cry for whom had treated him as a son. And when people started to leave, he looked for her from afar. He saw her waiting, her long hair loose, running down her back like black silk, her eyes red, but not a tear present - ninjas do not cry. She waited that her mother and her sisters left, as they finished their farewells, before to say herself goodbye to her sister Akemi. Her portrait was next to the heroes of Konoha that had sacrificed their lives; a lonely flower next to it to represent her craft. It was a pretty picture, where she smiled brightly next to her son, together, as they had perished that night.

Her family left and Kibo nudged her to go forward. Sumi knelt in front of the little altar and closed her eyes in a one-sided conversation. Then, she kissed the tips of her fingers and placed them in the portrait.

A long-time conversation rung in her ears...

_Akemi smiled. "I think you will make a great kunoichi."_

_Sumi's face lighted up. "I will. So that I can protect your baby. My friend Kakashi says ninjas are here to protect the villagers, but I will protect Akemi's baby the most."_

That historical night, not only great ninjas were lost, but also dreams, hopes and innocence.

When Kibo and Sumi reached the Matsu district, reconstruction work had already started. The clan leader's house had been partially brought down, but it had more room than Kibo and Sumi could use.

"Go help the villagers rebuild their homes, make sure they have a shelter over their heads," Kibo ordered the workers as they approached. They nodded their understanding and set off. Then Kibo walked to where the shrine to Matsu had been, now just pieces of marble amongst which one could identify a finger or part of her mask. A woman already stood in front of the mess and they joined her.

Matsu Sachio glared at the mess, her hands, those gifted hands, clasped tightly behind her back. "A grandmother should not bury her granddaughter." Sumi remembered the gentle Kikuko that had patched her in a war that seemed dreams away.

"She died with honor and brought great glory to our house," Kibo answered.

The elder turned to them and Sumi saw the hate, such a strong feeling that she felt like running away. "Not all daughters of Matsu were conceded that favor last night. Seems like the roar of the pride missed a voice," she spat pointedly and Sumi cowered, her eyes down.

Kibo's voice was paused, but with that vigor that left no doubt of her authority, even over age and experience. "Sometimes Matsu's will is less than obvious to those that do not watch carefully."

Madam Sachio huffed. "Matsu is no longer with us. She did stay to fight and here she stands. Rubble and dust. An advice from someone that lost it all, Kibo. Do not fall under the habits of the solitary tiger. Remember, he is too selfish and that makes him pride less."

Kibo placed a hand in Sumi's shoulder. "Measure your words, Sachio. I understand your grief and I think you will find things clearer after a rest."

Sachio, her golden eyes dulled by the years, glared at her leader and left, the wooden cane helping her impeded step.

"Do not let her words affect your heart, Sumi," Kibo suddenly said, stepping down and searching between the stones for something. "Sachio lives anchored in a different time, she has lived many wars and seen many conflicts, she values the old ways too much..." Her hands finally pulled something out, a candle, but kept rummaging. "It is a tragedy when the pride loses a daughter, but Matsu also sent a lot of her sisters to their deaths, we just don't remember that, - we choose not to - cause she is our hero." The second candle joined the first and Kibo tried to set them straight. "And sometimes, people need more a hero than a leader, more than victory, more than peace." She pulled out a set of matchsticks and lighted the candles. The walls of the shrine devastated, the lights danced with the fresh October breeze. "At times like this, hatred and resentment serve to nothing. We must look ahead and use the fallen stones to build something even bigger, stronger." She bowed, turned and pinched Sumi's cheek. Then she said with a sad smile, "That is Matsu's will." She rounded Sumi and left. "Now it is time to build."

To build or destroy, to lose or win from such situation... was it really just a choice?

Sumi helped the next days with the reconstruction. Such a menial task helped her forget the glances thrown her way, the pain of the loss, the betrayal... As Kibo had said, with every stone she placed, she felt recover, she would build her walls taller this time, stronger.

"You look upset, Sumi," Kibo observed over dinner.

"It's nothing," the girl waved a hand, picking at the vegetables in her pancake.

Kibo paused, took a sip from her liquor, read between the lines and filled the blanks. "How is your friend Kakashi?"

Sumi's chopstick almost fell from her hand. "What? Why?"

Kibo smiled for a fraction. "Well, he lost his sensei. He must feel sad."

"I-I don't know," Sumi admitted. Although this time, she wondered who had ignored whom.

"You know, maybe he can come over one day for dinner," Kibo proposed nonchalantly and saw Sumi blush. Kibo wanted to laugh but refrained, scared it might anger her.

"I don't know... he doesn't like much these things..."

"You can ask, we have nothing to lose."


	20. Second scroll: win

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

She had been waiting in the street to his apartment block. While she waited, to soothe her nerves, she wondered how she had known that address. Was it a buried memory from her childhood? Had she ever been brought here and she was too little to remember? Had she told him in one of those conversations where her mind would drift off to dangerous thoughts, such as what his face looked under the mask, or how his eyes were just the right shape, or how... She shook her head, trying to look casual as she paced up and down.

But time ticked by and night befell upon her. She hugged her jacket to her body and sighed when a shadow crossed the corner of her eye. She focused as Orochimaru had taught them and found the source of chakra flying over the roofs and without a second thought she followed. She knew this aura.

He was moving slower, trying to go undetected, when he noticed he was being followed.

"Sumi?" he whispered, as he let her reach him over a balcony. "Sumi, I am busy. Not now."

"Are you on a mission?" she asked, staring at the beautiful dog mask. A mask over a mask, how well it described him!

He paused. "Yes. I won't be around for a while. Please don't follow." He saw the disappointment; she was getting worse at hiding it. "I will visit you when I can, I promise."

"It's okay. I understand." She nodded. "Be careful," she whispered a second after he disappeared in the night, headed to the Hokage's manor in a treacherous quest for truth.

She went back home, jumping over the fallen archway that had not been remade yet, feeling unreasonable. Was she late again? Kakashi had already climbed up again the shinobi ladder and she was merely a chūnin. She would need to train harder, to aim higher.

After several restless nights where old ghosts chased her aspirations and she could not name the heavy feeling that weighed on her chest, she met her team for a training day in which she was quite absent. In her mind, she could only repeat the words, the sentences she had secretly rehearsed for days now.

'Orochimaru-sama, please train me' or 'I think I am ready to become a jōnin' or 'I will train harder, please help me to become a good shinobi', even 'What can I do to join the ANBU?'

She waited that her companions left, promising to meet them later, before to approach the man that she would never admit scared her. She tried to not flinch under his yellow eyes when he turned with a cold smile.

"Sumi, I wanted to speak with you," he said.

"Wh-what? Me?"

He nodded. "I have been thinking and I would gladly propose your name to be upgraded to the rank of jōnin. Have you thought about it?"

He circled her as a predator and she felt exposed. Was this the power of the sennin? Could they all read minds? "I-I would love so."

"But," he raised a finger, "I still feel like you miss a strong technique, something to add to your plight."

She nodded. "I will work on it, I will come back with a new idea, or... or an improvement." Her enthusiasm was laced by insecurity.

He shook his head slowly. "I am afraid there is no time for that. But don't worry; I think I have an idea."

"Yes, anything."

He smirked. "I have heard lately of your family's technique..."

"I am trying my best to master Matsu's technique. If you think it can help I can introduce you Mastu Airi sensei, she has been teaching me for... almost two years now, I think. She is-"

He raised a hand. "No, I mean your real family."

Her eyes widened in understanding. "The Ikoma..."

He put a hand in her shoulder. "Ikoma Sumi, have you forgotten who you are?" Good question, she thought. Had she? She was wordless. "Let's go."

"Where?" she asked as she struggled to keep up with his longer strides.

"First, I need you to show me that infamous technique said to bring back the dead from their eternal slumber."

And with those words, a naive shiver ran down her spine.

They walked through the village, master and student, casually. Bystanders were completely unaware of the complexity of their conversation as Sumi tried to explain the ritual that allowed her to communicate with her deceased ancestors, with her father... How she missed him!

"So you need some kind of remains from the person you wish to bring back?" Orochimaru concluded.

Sumi nodded. They were now in the Matsu district, staring from a distance at the workers fix the first stones that would serve as walls to the Matsu shrine. The area had been cleared and now only two candles and a vase with a purple flower remained in a simple altar in front of a lion mask. "Usually the ashes of the person are placed inside their sculpture. Or so I have heard..."

"Interesting." She waited expectantly. If one of the great sennin could not help her, nobody could. He turned on his heels. "Be early tomorrow morning. We will need to move to the right place before to start the experiments."

"Experiments, sensei?"

He laughed. "Of course, to achieve your new technique."

She bowed at his retreating back. "Thank you, sensei."

With trepidation, she left home the next morning a bit before the Sun rise; she just could not wait, could no longer contain the animation that made her legs kick in the air as she waited her master sitting on a bench. She had just been imagining, fantasizing about what kind of technique her teacher had in mind. With the genius of a sennin, it must be something spectacular. She imagined Kakashi's face when she mastered it, or the proud pat that Kibo would gift her head. She would even maybe make her clan proud again, bring the hero she was back. The attention, the love... Maybe even her mother would see her again for the daughter she was.

The lazy Sun made an appearance and so did her teacher.

"Ready?" He asked.

She just beamed.

The trek was long, full of twists and back and forth. She could have sworn they passed twice by the same clearing and she wondered if he was trying to get them lost in the forest. But the smell of nature and the happy ideas made it pleasant.

"It's here," he said, waving a hand at the small bunker entrance. It looked old and dirty. "I tend to come here to investigate new techniques. It is peaceful," he reassured her.

Orochimaru guided the little girl down dimly lit corridors, feeling her discomfort. What for him were unimportant details, such as the smell of chloroform and blood, the trickling of liquids in tubes, the asphyxiating humidity, the coldness... for Sumi it was disturbing and she had a fleeting thought to run away. Why did it feel like she was entering the wolf's den? She missed Haruki by her side, and she involuntarily scratched her leg, where the tattoo was hidden by her short pants.

"Here," he instructed and she entered a small room with a tiny altar and a table. Lines - no, not lines, characters - had been drawn all around the table in a complex seal. "Well?"

She blinked at him. "This is..."

He stepped in confidently. "This is where we are going to make a breakthrough, you and me. A new jutsu, all for you." He circled the table. "We are going to use your family's technique to cross to the other side and from there... imagine the implications." A well-timed smile. "You could be the perfect spy, the best infiltrator, or maybe become intangible... what a great defense. Or maybe... yes, it may be even possible to bring back the dead to our world." She gasped. He placed his hands on the table. "We won't know until you cross to the other side."

"If never... nobody has ever..." she started to say.

He chuckled. "Well, people that don't try never do."

"But how?"

"With this seal," he pointed at the symbols. "I made it myself. It is a perfect reproduction of the seal under Matsu's shrine that the Kyuubi attack exposed. I made sure to check later in your family's shrine, the same seal exists at its foundation. It seems it is vital to this ritual and I studied it in detail. If you think it, we have then everything necessary to open the door. The candles, the key; the physical remains - your body - the door. The rest is up to you."

Sumi gulped. Then, with heavy steps she walked to the table and used her arms to jump up. With a sigh she laid on it. Her braid was in the way, so she pulled it off, keeping the barrette and the ring between her long fingers.

"Perfect," Orochimaru smirked. "I will start now the ritual." He moved to the candles and with seriousness, he lighted them one after the other. The flame was steady in the buried room. "Now, relax, think of how you do when you call your father, feel the door open, only that this time, cross it." Sumi tried to follow his instructions. She could feel that energy in the room, that familiar energy enveloping them. And something scary behind it. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw the candles flicker and the deadly shine of a kunai. Orochimaru loomed over her now, weapon at the ready. A shriek traveled from her lungs to her throat, but died there before it reached her half-open lips. Orochimaru took her hand and slashed it open. She winced. "A little boost to your trip," he said.

She felt the chakra flowing strong through her body, the rage that pulled her forward and backwards at the same time, in a second and in an eternity at the same time as she traveled to another plane. She stood up, but saw in horror how she existed in two places at the same time. Her body was still on the table, eyes closed, as she stared down to it. She touched her body and it was solid. She touched the girl in the table, but her hand passed through.

"This is amazing," she heard Orochimaru speak.

"You can see me?" she asked, confused.

"I do," he smiled. "I knew this would work."

She felt like puking, but the adrenaline of her new state prevented her from doing anything else than laughing hysterically. "Now what?"

"Well, now you try out new things," Orochimaru said, as he started taking notes. "This is your breakthrough."

Sumi was shy at first, not daring to test the limits of this fantasy, scared it might disappoint her, but a childish playfulness soon overtook her and she started touching everything around the room, even risking a poke at Orochimaru that passed through. Feeling adventurous, she left the room and skipped happily down the corridor.

"Madam?" a high-pitched voice called at the end of the corridor, belonging to a little shape.

Her blood ran suddenly cold and Sumi advanced towards it despite herself. A kid no more than four years old hugged a teddy bear to his dirty hospital robe.

Sumi knew the truth behind the poor soul, something deep in her knew, but she decided to ignore it. Maybe it was that thing in us that watches over to keep us safe, that hides the monsters of the world away from our consciousness. "Are you lost?"

"Did you see my mom?" the child asked.

"Your mom? Where is your mother?"

"I don't know," the kid whined and tears clouded his light blue eyes.

"Where did you see her last?"

"In the market."

"We will-"

Her sentence was cut by a shriek of horror, a sound only possible in a nightmare and she quickly threw her body over the kid to protect him from the flash that ran down the corridor. A man, his decency barely covered by the tattered robe had just sprinted pass them, his arms flailing and his scream painful to their ears. Sumi checked that the kid was alright before turning her sight on the weird man, who stopped a mere second, as if to remember where he was, before running back up the corridor in the same fashion he arrived.

Fearing an impact and trying to avoid the conflict, Sumi took the child by the hand and opened the door next to them, pushed them both inside. She rested her back against the door, her eyes closed as she tried to catch her breath, trying to erase the upsetting image. But a chorus of whimpers and whispered non-sense made her open them wide.

She screamed. All around her, in a viscous room, men of all ages wriggled in the torture of their afterlife. They all wore different states of tattered clothes, some clasped tightly their heads, some stared absently a non-existing point, some tried to hurt themselves, some cried over the bodies hanging on the walls, some fought each other...

And in a corner, she saw a tattered teddy bear, a confirmation of her terrors. As possessed by a primal instinct, she stormed off, running down the corridor, yelling in fear.

She reached the room where she had left her body, the light of the candles warming her cold skin, a bright lighthouse in this crazed maze. Orochimaru scribbled the last of his notes and saw her enter with a smirk.

"Well, the experiment has been a complete success," he said as she walked to her body. "With this I will be able to finish my life work, a jutsu to defeat death." He took the two steps that separated him from the altar. Sumi looked at him from the other side of the table, her sleeping form in the middle, as a safety barrier. "Thank you," he said softly and before she could react, he blew off the candles.

"No... no, no...," she started repeating as a deadly chill took power over her body and the world around her suddenly became darker, its colors lost their vibrant, as a leave withering under the arrival of the winter. She touched her body, but her hands passed through it. She looked at her hands, they looked solid to her, but as much as she tried to hug her own self, they seem to not exist. A desperate sob was born in her throat and it grew to become a loud weeping.

Orochimaru left, laughing, knowing her lost; a loose end dealt with. He knew the Hokage would be soon knocking at his door, so he was satisfied he had made enough progress to leave Konoha.

Sumi felt her tears like ice falling down her cold cheeks. She let herself down to the floor. How had she been so stupid? Would somebody realize her demise? Her disappearance? Would they make an empty tombstone to remind her? Would Kakashi also bring her flowers and share his thoughts, those he kept for the dead?

A small hand pulled at her shirt and she looked at her side to the teddy bear offered. She dried her tears and ruffled the young boy's curly brown hair.

Her stubbornness had blinded her and she had worked hard to win her cruel fate.


	21. Second scroll: nightmare

He had been investigating non-stop. He barely slept and it was fine with him. Anyways, every time he closed his eyes the same nightmarish images kept on repeating over and over again. No, this new task, his chosen objective, was able to keep his mind off it during his waking hours. It did consume his time, for he had forgotten to meet with Sumi since he last saw her quickly on an anonymous balcony. He guessed she was okay; she had friends to keep her company and care for her. She surely had not seen the days pass without him...

And now he was so close... The Hokage had been right - he had not doubt about it -, those disappearances... someone was stealing villagers for dark purposes and he had been methodically tracking down the little clues, meeting with witnesses, checking places, connecting dots. Yet it looked like he missed an important piece to his puzzle.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The picture of a young boy hugging happily a teddy bear looked back at him from the table that wore his work's papers as a tablecloth. Maybe he should go out and take a bit of fresh air, get his ideas straight. Maybe even check on Sumi...

Suddenly, he heard the water falling from the kitchen tap and he frowned. Did he have plumbing problems now? He turned the water off and went back to the table, but before he could finish sitting, the tap ran on again. He looked around and walked to the kitchen, but when he was about switch the tap knob, a breeze of wind made his papers fly off the table. Weird, his windows were closed. His training put him on alert, but he could feel no chakra readings in his apartment, apart from...

"Boy, I don't like this..."

He snorted. "Pakkun, don't be a chicken."

The dog put back down his head over its chubby paws as he lay in the middle of Kakashi's futon.

The teenager kneeled to pick up his papers after closing with a bit too much strength the tap. He gathered most of the research in his arms and threw it carelessly on the table. He noticed he missed a piece, the little kid's picture and found it under the table, but as his hand reached out to take it, the photo moved further away. He raised his head. That was definitely weird.

Pakkun was up on his feet - or paws - by then. "I saw that, I saw that. That's not normal, Kakashi."

"I agree," Kakashi said, taking off his headband and squinting his eyes. He trusted his sharingan to uncover whoever was playing tricks in his own home. But as much as he looked right and left, he found nothing.

"What is it? What it is, Kakashi?" Pakkun kept on repeating, and he even turned on himself once. "Is a ghost, isn't it? We have been haunted, right?"

"Don't speak non-sense," Kakashi said, picking up the photo and staring at it. The water sound from the kitchen made him gulp.

"For all...! I am out of here!" Pakkun exclaimed.

"No, wait!" Kakashi ordered, as he closed the water. "Who goes there?" he asked to no one in particular.

"We are sorry if we killed you," Pakkun said.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Who is there?"

With a sharp thud a book fell from a shelf.

"Are you a writer? I don't remember hurting any writer, Kakashi," Pakkun rambled.

Kakashi picked up the book and read its cover 'A new hope'.

"Sumi," Kakashi whispered and then replaced his headband and got dressed to leave.

"Wait. Wait Kakashi! Don't leave me alone!" Pakkun complained as he ran after him out of the house.

Sumi sighed as she followed after them. She had felt so bashful when she had entered his apartment, so shy to violate such a private space uninvited. But her father had been clear: she had not much time left. If she did not want to end up trapped in this ghost reality, she had to be able to return to her body before 24 hours.

And it was already afternoon when she had reached the village after roaming Orochimaru's dungeon of horrors and the forest. Scared out of her mind, she almost ran to her district, but realized nobody could see her, so she sat and cried on the steps to her family's shrine. Now that she was 'dead' she had decided to visit home once more before to... well, she did not know yet what came after death.

"My dear, what are you doing here?" a familiar voice spoke to her left and she threw herself to her father's arms. He laughed. "I have missed you too, my summer child."

"Dad, I wanted to see you, but... mother-" She tried to dry her tears with the back of her palm.

"Sssh, it's ok. I know... But you should not be here, Sumi, it's dangerous for the living..." he said with a comforting smile.

"Father, it was a trap. I was so stupid..." she started to sob again. "If I had known..."

"You played with fire and you got burned, I understand, but now you should go back."

She looked up at him. He was so perfect in his simplicity. Like a soothing lullaby or the precise strokes of calligraphy in a parchment. "I don't know how. I have tried, but I cannot."

"You just need a candle to guide your way."

"They were blown off..."

"Then you need to reignite them," he said.

"I cannot. I tried, but there is nothing I can touch," Sumi complained.

Hachiro laughed. "Even ghosts need some training." He kicked a pebble with his sandaled foot and it fell down the remaining step. "I will teach you how, but you must know, you won't be able to light that candle."

"But then..."

"Only the living can open the door to their world. I see you misunderstood the most important part of the ritual, my dear. I told you that you could call me when you needed me..."

She frowned. "What does that mean?"

Hachiro laughed. His daughter was so obtuse about life sometimes; she still had so much to learn... "It means that the person performing the ritual must have a need for those he or she calls. Or if not, it simply won't work. The candles are just the keyhole, the will is the key." Sumi's eyes widened as she absorbed his words. "Now come, my daughter, for once your father is going to be your sensei. And there is much you need to learn."

It had been a few hours since she had bid her farewells with her father. He, himself, could not stay in this plane for long or he would not be able to return to the Pure Land, the true afterlife. But now Sumi could move certain small objects and with no specific plan in mind, she decided to place her bet on Kakashi. And the prize was high...

She walked by his side. It was so frustrating to not be able to communicate with him. She wanted to scream at him - she might have had when he did not understand her ghostly signals. She had squeezed her brain to point him to her direction. And when he had looked straight through her under the table... if she had not been a ghost she would have blushed fifty shades of red.

She wondered where they were headed until she saw her family's house and she wanted again to yell at him. She tried to push him, but every time she fell as she passed through him. He felt a soft breeze brush his face, but nothing more before he knocked on the big wooden doors. Those doors he had not crossed since he was a kid, before his father... well, when life was easier, he thought bitterly.

Ikoma Hina answered the door, a silken gown over her pajama. Was it really that late? He thought. She looked at him from up, with distaste, like he expected her to. With a tiny satisfaction he saw how the wrinkles started to steal away her breathtaking beauty and the first white hairs ruined the jet black of her mane.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Can Sumi come down?"

"No."

"Is she okay?"

She scoffed. "What would I know? She didn't tell you?" A laugh meant to be haughty but with a spice of sadness. "She does not live here anymore. If you look for her, go ask the Matsu clan. That's where she lives now."

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Thank you."

The door smashed in his face.

"What a bit-"

"We need to go, come," he interrupted Pakkun.

"Where now? What is going on? Is Sumi in danger?" the dog asked.

Kakashi frowned. "I don't know."

"I am," Sumi spoke to his side. "Please, Kakashi. Hurry up."

He knocked on the even bigger door of the clan leader residence. He could see that still a big area was in reparation, but heard steps and was reassured that someone would answer his call. The two massive doors, with their brass lion head doorknobs, opened a crack and he saw a golden eye, so warm in comparison to the white pupils of Hina, which studied his face. Then the doors were thrown open and Matsu Kiba ushered him inside before he could even utter a word. She was disheveled, clearly pulled out of sleep and she wore cute cat slippers that did not match with the seriousness of her kimono outfit.

"Oh, I must have fallen asleep over those reports again," she rubbed her eyes. Despite her age she held a wild beauty. "Those rebuilding budgets are hard to fit in. Do you want something warm to drink? A tea? A coffee?" He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him in again. "I do. I will be back." And she left to the kitchen, where he heard the kettle boil water.

"How are you?" Kibo asked over a coffee.

Sumi had taken a place around the table and held her breath since they entered the manor. This was not how she expected Kakashi and Kibo meeting and now she feared for what one or the other could speak.

"Good. I was wondering if I could see Sumi?" he asked. He wondered now why he had not just sneaked into her room, but this house had too many empty rooms and he felt like that would be an unnecessary invasion of her privacy. Right?

"Yes, of course. I will call her." Kibo placed carefully the coffee mug on the table and walked to the stairs, then she screamed the girl's name. Once, twice, until five times, until it was clear that she was not there. She frowned but shrugged. "I don't remember her telling me she was out on a mission."

"When did you last see her?"

"Yesterday. But I know this morning she was meeting her team early. I guess they did go on a mission." She sat and crossed her legs. "Or is there something else?"

Kakashi hesitated. "No, I guess that's all." Why did he suddenly feel he was reporting to a superior?

When he said that, as Kibo reached for her mug, it flew away. Sumi bowed to clean the carpet personally if she ever got out of this.

Kibo laughed. "I am so clumsy. Do not worry, Kakashi, I will clean it myself," she stopped him. "I think it's time for me to go to bed."

"No, no, no," Sumi repeated, but in her nervousness she did not manage to move the table. She had barely learned how to do these tricks and she panicked when she saw Kakashi give his thanks and leave. Before she could notice Kibo's worried frown, she ran after Kakashi, passing straight through the doors.

"What do you think?" Pakkun asked, serious.

Kakashi paused. "Are you sure you don't catch her scent?"

Pakkun focused. "I can smell places she has been to recently, like the house we just visited, but they all feel like cold chase."

"There is something wrong, Kakashi. You need to find me," Sumi told him.

"I think there is something wrong," he said. "And I am afraid it has to do with the disappearances we have been investigating."

"It does feel a bit similar," Pakkun agreed. "I could not track those people neither. Maybe there is some kind of seal over the place where they are taken."

Kakashi nodded. "Let's go back and rethink. There is something I am overlooking."

Kakashi poured his energy that night trying to find that something, that elusive snake that wriggled between his fingers every time he thought he had the answer. The papers were now not restricted to his table, instead now they covered almost all his living area. They surrounded him in the futon where he had fallen asleep reading about old investigation bases around Konoha. They were so numerous that with little effort, he could have used them as a blanket. Sumi wanted to wake him up, to explain him that she had not much time left, but she knew that it would be futile.

So instead, she stared at him, thinking about how far they got and how much it would sadden her to not accompany him the rest of the long trip that was life. Then, feeling the unshakable coldness of the dead, she sheepishly sought comfort on his warmth. How lucky the living! She understood now that she experienced a dimmed version of reality and she vowed to cherish that heat, that brightness, that fullness, if she ever came back.

Hoping stupidly to be hidden by her state, she lay down next to him and realized as a ghost she could not sleep. So she envisioned how she could end this torture, and what she would tell him, and what he would tell her, and in the middle of these tribulations she came to a scary realization. That maybe somewhere along the travel, she had started feeling something for him. And that scared her more than any nightmare.


	22. Second scroll: dream

She was still trying to decide where to place the last paper when he woke up with a jump. Although she could not touch him, she could feel the sweat covering his skin. A nightmare, she thought. She saw him march to the kitchen, over her work, to wash his hands. She wondered with curiosity why he scrubbed at his hands. Probably a strange dream, another type of ghost that haunted him.

Kakashi went back to the living room and overlooked at the papers scattered everywhere as he stretched and remembered why they were there. A strange worry weighed down on his shoulders and he frowned. Then, he realized something; those papers were not disorganized, they were now sorted and... "Pakkun, look at this!"

The dog snored a last time before lazily stepping over the investigation. "What is it?"

"See?" He pointed at a classified document. "Orochimaru-sama is a master of sealing techniques," he pointed at another paper, "and look at these dates, these disappearances happened mostly..."

"When Orochimaru-sama was residing in Konoha," Pakkun finished. "But he is one of the sennin... accusing him is..."

Kakashi started to gather his research sloppily. "Sumi is in danger. We need to find where he took her."

They stormed off, trying to get a clue, a trail... Sumi followed them. If only she could somehow guide them...

Kakashi and Pakkun were traveling fast the streets when an avalanche of cantaloupes blocked their path. The poor merchant cursed: he had just been about to place the last one in the pyramid. The same disposition he used for his fruits since almost forty years now of experience and this one time, it was the first time that he failed. Maybe his daughter was right; maybe he was getting old...

Sumi smirked at her strategy as she saw Kakashi and Pakkun take the other street, the one that would lead them to...

"Kakashi!" the ever youthful voice of Guy called after him.

"Not now!" Pakkun yelled back.

Guy huffed. "You are all so busy these days... first Sumi, now you... well, always you-"

Kakashi took him by the suit. "What did you say?"

"You are always busy-"

"No, about Sumi."

Guy frowned. "She was also busy the other day."

"When?"

"Yesterday. Is something wrong?"

Kakashi let go off him and regained his calm. "Was that when you last saw her?"

"Yes, it was really early, barely daylight. I had gone out to train. The early bird gets the worm, you know. I was surprised to see her already up. Most of the village is asleep by then. I asked her if she wanted to train with me, but she said she was waiting for Orochimaru-sama," Guy explained.

"Do you know where they were going?"

Guy shook his head. "But I can tell you where I saw her. Are you sure everything is alright? Is Sumi in danger?"

"Bless you, Guy," Sumi said by his side.

Kakashi shook his head. "No, I just forgot to give her something."

Guy smirked and winked at Kakashi, "I see. Well, she was by herself in the training grounds close to the hospital."

They were automatically on the move again. They reached the training grounds next to the Uchiha clan district. The trees danced with a wind that did not move Sumi's hair and the water in the lake was crisped.

"What now?" Pakkun asked.

Kakashi looked right and left. "Do you smell something?"

Pakkun sniffed the air, then the ground. "I can smell that she was here, but I cannot properly follow through, as I said. However, I would say..." He pointed a paw, "...they went that direction."

"Perfect," Kakashi said pulling out a huge map of the area around Konoha. Several red circles marked possible hideouts he had been investigating. He traced a line with his finger. "This area must be where he took her. There are at least three possible hiding places in this part of the forest."

"We need reinforcements," Pakkun added. Kakashi agreed.

They ran to the Hokage's office. It did not take much to convince him. Sarutobi Hiruzen had suspected his disciple's dark machinations since a long time now, maybe too long. A regret that would chase him to the afterlife.

Two small teams were gathered to check Kakashi's indicated points. Sumi could not hold her impatience. She felt a numbness take over her already dulled body. She looked up, through the leaves of the lush perennial trees, and found the Sun over their heads. It would soon be afternoon, they neared her 24 hours dead time.

Hiruzen's team finally reached the almost underground shelter, that house of madness and depravation where Orochimaru was still experimenting, shameless, when they stormed in. Sumi was barely aware of the exchange, instead preoccupied to check on her body. To her relief, it was where she had abandoned it, in the same empty room, lying peacefully in the table.

"You are back," a little voice said by her side.

She smiled at Tanabe Shun, the four year old boy with the teddy bear that disappeared from his hospital room ten years ago. "I will leave soon."

"Can I go with you?" he asked. His big eyes seemed almost alive.

Her voice wavered. "No, I am sorry."

"Can you help me find my mommy then?"

Sumi kneeled to his eye level. "Your mommy is now busy, but she will be back with you one day. But she won't find you if you stay here," she explained.

"I cannot find the way out. Can you help me?"

This time the tear that rolled down her cheek seemed to warm her skin as it trailed down. "I will." She took his little hand. "Come with me."

They walked down the damned corridors, passed by the conflict between the living without paying them attention, sent their goodbyes to the other lost souls trapped, and sought the entrance. It had been left open and the light seemed to cut a line in the floor, a barrier between worlds.

The boy smiled, "Thank you," and he ran out. She saw his shape disappear in the light and she wiped her eyes.

In a flash someone ran through her. Kakashi.

She followed.

He was looking for her. His body was still shaken from his encounter with Orochimaru, his head was in many places at the same time. His eyes did not register the horror, the corpses hanging by their ankles, their wrists, their necks... Other ANBU were already gathering evidence, checking for survivors. He traveled four different rooms before he found her.

It was too late.

Her hair was loose, sprawled on the table as a crown around her face. He realized how much she had changed, how she did not look like her mother anymore, but like herself, like the woman she would have grown to be if he had not been, once again, too late.

He grasped her hands, those that laid over her stomach, limp. "I am sorry," he whispered. He noticed then the two barrettes in her hand, the mirthful memories they carried were too precious to be left to rot in this cursed place. So he took them.

"We can take care of her," another ANBU told him. He was with a companion gathering those corpses that could still be recognised to give sepulture.

He was completely unaware of the girl flailing her arms over his head, screaming, "No! No! I am here! Let my body!"

Kakashi nodded slowly and turned to leave. How he would get over this loss, he had no idea. The list was now too long for another name.

The other ANBU clicked his tongue. "You knocked it off again," he complained to his colleague.

"I told you, I did not touch that candle. It just keeps on falling by itself. It would not surprise me if this place would be haunted..." the other answered as they tried to bag the girl's corpse.

Kakashi's eyes widened. He was already in the corridor but he ran back and pushed away the hands of the two other.

"What are you doing?" one complained.

"I will take care of this," he answered, stealing the bag from his hands.

The man tsk-ed again and they both left the room with a bitter commentary about youth and manners and other times.

Kakashi picked up the candle that had rolled under the table and studied it. It seemed a mere candle. He placed it next to the other and thought 'now what?'. Well, he could think of only one thing to do with candles, so he lighted them up.

As a magic spell, a pair of arms circled his head and for the first time in their lives, he hugged Sumi back, tightly against himself, as if to make sure that it was not a dream. She relished in his warmth, enjoying the world as if she was born again. It was almost overwhelming, the smells, the lights, the colors, the heat on her skin, the softness of his hair on her cheek.

They separated and she noticed he was bleeding, a small cut on his head. "Let's go home," she said, tiredness clear in her voice.

"I have work to do here," he answered.

She nodded. "Be careful then."

He hesitated, then he offered his hand. She gave him hers and he gave her back her hair adornments.

"Thank you," she said.

In a conversation, sometimes it is more important what it is left unsaid.

"Come closer, I don't bite," the Hokage joked.

Sumi barely dared to peak at him as she took some tiny steps towards his desk, head low in reverence.

"You-You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?" she asked after a minute of silence only broken by the quill on the paper as he scribbled.

He raised his head. "I did call you indeed." He finally left the writing tools. "Your team is no more and your teacher... well, let's say you are by yourself now. Your old teammates have already chosen their paths, what they want to do next, but I would like to know about you. Where should I send you next?"

She bowed lower. "I am ready to take any task the Hokage wishes for me."

Hiruzen chuckled. "I see... I have heard you have a good friendship with Hatake Kakashi. I was thinking a dedicated kunoichi like you could do well in ANBU."

She gasped. Was that not what she wanted, her dream? It had been merely a week since...

"I am sorry but I must decline that offer," she said, raising her head to look at his face.

She found him smiling. "I see."

"I will train and become a jōnin and only then, if you still agree, I will join ANBU," she explained.

The Hokage nodded, taking again the quill and dipping slowly its tip in the black ink. "I will look forward to it then."


	23. Second scroll: winter

**Author's note:** thanks to AnotherLifeOfWar, ninaaark and Dom2040 for their reviews! :) I enjoyed greatly writing this fic and it makes me so happy that other people might enjoy it too!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

"Do you want to speak about it?" She moved her head to look at him. "About why your mother does not want you anymore in her house?"

Sumi stood up. It was getting late and it was cold. It was too winter to be by the riverbank. But they had dinner together and their feet had automatically carried them there, as a daily migration before to say goodnight.

"I don't care," she answered. It was true, she did not care anymore about it; in her heart, she had even forgiven her mother. "She did not stand that I ruined the marriage she had planned with that Hyuga boy. It was her... dream, or something."

"And yours?

She hugged her jacket closer to her body. It had been a month since that night he discovered she had been cast out by her family. Why was he bringing all this up now? She still had a hard time reading him. If only she knew how he was the same...

"I don't know... I guess I don't know yet. I think I will figure it out along the way... Right now I just have things I want," she concluded.

He snorted. "What things you want?"

She looked up, away from him. The moon was already over their heads. How late was it? She counted stars to avoid those treacherous thoughts, the ones that spoke about feelings she did not understand yet. "I want to become a jōnin. I want to create a strong bond with Haruki... I want to make Kibo proud," she smiled, "I want to bring honor to my clan and to be a good kunoichi. Yes, just that. To be a good shinobi. And you?"

He paused, sat up, glancing one last time at her expectant face, the summer eyes, and he left. "See you tomorrow."

And he did not lie. They met again the next day, and the ones that came after as Konoha shed its winter coat and dressed in flowers for spring. For training, between missions, after solitary breaks... any time was good to enjoy the company of the friendship they almost lost so many times. Alone, or sometimes with friends. For simple walks or for long days of traveling around, practicing or simply watching the hours pass by at peace. The peace they had fought so hard to achieve.

And somewhere in between spring and summer, a silly afternoon when he was out on who knows what quest, as Sumi sat alone at her garden, trying to fight the upcoming heat, she realized she had made a big mistake. And it drove her crazy for a second, such an intense insanity that she felt like running away to a far off land, and after that single second, she forgot it. Such a stupid thing, for had she not forgotten how big of a mistake it was to fall in love with the wrong person, she would have saved herself many tears later.

But as she was starting to understand, those were not things one could choose, like you cannot choose the color of your eyes, or the seasons, or between day and night.

"Let's go," he told her a summer day.

"Where?" she asked.

And as he dragged her along, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and he said, "Where do you want to go?"

And she turned fourteen, although feeling much older and much younger at times, watching the fireworks from a hill in Tsuma, wondering why it felt like the fireworks lived inside her chest and not in the sky.

She felt him switch his position and something brushed her hand. It was a gift. She took the pretty box. It was long and it had not been wrapped.

"You did not need to," she said as she opened it. A beautifully crafted tantō of brass handle was snuggly resting between a velvety lining.

"For your jōnin exam," he said, more interested by the stars than her reaction.

Yes, those fireworks she felt were definitely not in the sky.

By autumn she was sure she had to do something, to tell him about her turmoil, about those sentiments that made her the happiest girl and yet sometimes, the saddest too. The autumn leaves became a carpet that crunched under her step. She was looking for him with disinterest, as if trying to prolong the torture. She knew he was barely back in Konoha from a mission - he had started to share these secrets.

She found him in the memorial, speaking softly to a dead girl. Were the living not interesting enough?, she thought bitterly. As she crossed back this garden of lost hopes and dreams to leave, a name looked back at her and she stopped.

Matsu Chizuki.

"You would have known what to do," she said over her shoulder to the stone. "How does the love story ends? You must have known."

A bubbly voice, the one of a kid that wanted to marry and have a family and believed in romance, answered, "You already know too."

Sumi chuckled and left.

Winter came back, sent away the birds except those valiant enough to face him, finished with those flowers that still clung to a decaying beauty and painted the village in blues and purples, as if to spite the long gone summer.

Sumi walked in with the stride of the committed. "I am ready."

Sarutobi Hiruzen smiled as he slowly deposited the quill in its stand. "I never doubted it."


	24. Second scroll: summer

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

It was a bad disease. She actually felt feverish sometimes. Could your feelings make you sick? If it was true, she wanted no part of it. And yet, she sought it. The adrenaline was to blame, that sweet rush she felt when she was near him. It was addictive.

It was almost as if he was the last piece of the puzzle of her world. If that made any sense.

And the symptoms of this disease seemed to get worst with the seasons. Because as Sumi furthered her teenage years, as she started to grow into a young woman, she experienced a new affliction. Attraction. Physical attraction, a concept that still made her blush and giggle but that it turned really serious once she let her imagination grow wild.

And the fact that he was not only her childhood friend, but also her superior, it made it all the more complicated. For she had been assigned to his team, with other ANBU shinobi, and she still struggled with the new power relation. It would be a blatant lie to say they did not have their conflicts.

But the conclusion to draw from all of it was that she did not understand anymore a thing. How sometimes she hated him for not realizing her feelings, yet the next moment she wanted nothing more than to hide away, and then she could not envision a better plan that to be with him. It was a constant pull between this ying yang of emotions, a kind of Russian roulette.

He was to blame, she decided. For growing up into a young man. His body had lost the lankiness of childhood and the hours of training and missions were building sleek muscles and shapes. The hair, that striking grey color, were groomed nonchalantly, but what once had looked sloppy, now it was fitting. Sumi knew she was not the only girl to fantasize about what hid under the mask, under the tight-fitting shi-

"Did you listen a word I said?"

Sumi's eyes widened and she almost fell from the bench. She muttered a sorry.

Kakashi sighed. "You are unfocused lately. Are you sick or something?"

She shrugged. "I am sorry. It's just..." They were alone in the ANBU changing space. Now it was a good time as ever to tell him... "It's just that Haruki has not been back since two weeks. I start to worry."

He paused. "I am sure he is fine," he concluded. "Do not overthink it. Anyways, as I was saying, I will be leaving with the boys to the south for the mission we spoke about last meeting. I let you here with Yūgao. Should we need reinforcements, I would sent you a message, so be ready to leave at any time."

She nodded slowly. It was true that Haruki had been gone for longer than usual and then, there were those strange dreams... She shook her head; no, those were just a product of the stress and worry.

"He will be okay, Sumi," he repeated. "He has always come back. Maybe he got distracted on the way with something. A butterfly or some bug. That cat was never really bright to start with," he teased as he crossed the door.

She chuckled and ran after him to hit his arm playfully.

But another week passed and Kakashi left and Haruki was still nowhere to be seen and her nightmares drew purple bags under her eyes. And God she was worried. For despite Haruki's comings and goings, he had always been with the little girl that saved him from war and that he had protected since. And through this connection they built growing up, Sumi knew something was wrong.

"Did you hear what I said?" Kibo asked her over a mountain of papers.

Sumi shook her head to send away the bad vibes that ate at her gut. A few papers, a smaller pile, were in front of her. Since she became jōnin, Kibo had insisted that she help her out. Sumi was slowly discovering the responsibilities of a leader of clan, while providing to the best of her efforts her skills learnt at Konoha's center. As she grew older, her calligraphy started to resemble that of her father.

"I have overheard that the Hokage is really pleased with your work," Kibo said with a bright smile, her eyes still on the last bills. "Maybe you will be upgraded soon, is that not great?"

"It is," Sumi said with disinterest.

Kibo put down the paper and took a sip from her tea. She knew Sumi was heading into her teenage years and she had heard the other Matsu mothers complain about their daughters' gloomy moods. Kibo was not Sumi's mother, but she had bowed to help her through it. After all, she had been a teenager herself.

"Kakashi left town without you?" she asked putting down the purple mug. It had been Sumi's gift to her three months ago for her birthday. It was kept for private moments, for the drawn kittens playing with wool balls on it took away from her authority during meetings.

Sumi nodded. She did not have the strength right now to speak about Kakashi with Kibo, so instead she said, "Haruki has not been home since three weeks."

Kibo waved a dismissive hand. "I am sure he is okay. He is a tiger," she explained, "He has a solitary nature. I am sure he is off somewhere chasing rabbits or deer. God, I still need to send that apology gift to Shikaku for the deer Haruki ate!" She rushed to scribble a note that joined a score waiting under a stone. Kibo reached through the table and took Sumi's hand. "What I mean, Sumi, is that everything will be okay. Sooner than expected Haruki will reappear to growl at the Inuzuka dogs and scare kids."

Sumi's eyes traveled to Yoake, Kibo's lioness, which snoozed off quietly in a corner. She rarely left Kibo's side.

"Why don't you go to sleep? You look tired. You will feel better after a good night's rest," Kibo suggested.

Sumi agreed but as her consciousness drifted to wherever it is one goes when one sleeps, the same image bombarded her mind. She found herself in this strange forest of bamboos so tall the sky was made of their leaves. So big were these ones, that a person could easily use them as hammock. In the ground, tiny streams of water, merely shining threads, made her feet sink a bit each step. And she could barely move a few meters that she found herself in another place. A wall of rock with an opening, a dark cave. And two big eyes, of a red only defeated by the crimson of blood, suddenly lighted up, glowing.

She felt her breath hitch and she was paralyzed in fear. She had never experienced such a strong presence. She moved a foot back, wanting to escape.

And in a split second, she was somewhere else. This time, there was no more vegetation around an area, a circle of desolation. And something in the middle. She pushed some shoots to get there, to this crater testimony of a fierce fight. And when she saw Haruki laying there, she ran to the middle of the clearing. His heart was barely beating, his side coming up and down painfully slow. His fur was matted with blood and his eyes closed.

But before she could think what to do, she felt herself being pulled by an unstoppable force, and the scene blurred as tunnel-vision clouded her senses.

She woke up panting in her bed, but unlike before, her eyes were determined this time. She grabbed quickly a few items that she threw in her pouches with no particular order. Scrolls, explosive tags, kunais, shurikens... She strapped her tantō to her back, but did not done her ANBU mask. She did take the cloak.

"Where are you going?" a familiar voice called at her back as she tried to sneak by Konoha's doors.

Sumi turned slowly, with a sweet smile that did not reach her eyes. "Yūgao? What are you doing here?"

Yūgao, that was still shy around her, tried to look un-intimidated. "Kakashi told me you would try to leave."

Sumi rolled her eyes. "He sent you to spy me?"

"His words were: do not let her do anything stupid," Yūgao explained.

Sumi laughed bitterly, before to turn back. "Goodnight, Yūgao."

"Wait!" The other girl ran to her side. "You cannot leave!"

"Why?" Sumi asked, mid-way opening the doors.

"Kakashi said-"

"Well, I am leaving," Sumi said, already stepping out silently. "I will take the blame, don't worry." Yūgao stood there, flabbergasted. "If you are not coming, I suggest you go back inside," she heard Sumi say.

Uzuki Yūgao did not like the idea of breaking the rules, but the confidence with which the other girl marched and the inspiration of that night's full moon pushed her to take a bad decision.

She followed.


	25. Second scroll: alone

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Sumi's lack of sense of direction was by then a running pun in Team Ro. Her natural impulsive nature and sometimes unfocused behaviour were incompatible with such a skill.

So what in her optimism was a trip of a few hours, it became running in circles in the bamboo forest. She had been sure she remembered how to find the tiger shrine...

"I-I think we are lost," Yūgao mumbled.

They had been trekking in silence. Yūgao hated to admit it, but she had been enjoying walking around the fresh leaves, the smell of wet grass, but most importantly, the silver rays of the moon and its impossibly perfect shape. It had almost made her forget that they were breaking several capital rules.

Sumi sighed, bothered. "We must not be far off."

"I-I think we already took that path before," Yūgao said.

Sumi glared at her over her shoulder, but took the other way as Yūgao proposed.

After a while, the only sound that of the crickets and their ragged breaths, they found a clearing and Sumi's heart sped. She remembered this place; a long time ago she had camped here in the company of the fifth pride. For a moment, she was eleven years old again; innocent and scared, carried away by a dream she felt she had forgotten along the way.

"We must not be off," she said and Yūgao half-smiled.

That was good, right? Like that Sumi would get what she looked for and they would be back in Konoha before daybreak.

"Sumi-san, that's the direction we came from," Yūgao said in a small voice.

Sumi stomped her foot as she stormed in the opposite direction and Yūgao stifled a giggle. Both girls had not made acquaintance despite being in the same team for almost six months already. Sumi had arrived barely before Yūgao and was also older in age, but it was her close relation with their team leader than had intimidated Yūgao from the beginning. Sumi tended to pay less attention to her fellow colleagues in Team Ro and preferred to spend her time with Kakashi-senpai. It had been a disappointment for Yūgao, for she had been happy to learn at first that there would be another girl in her team.

Suddenly, Sumi started to run and Yūgao had to sprint to follow. They were off path and to the untrained eye, it looked like any other part of the bamboo jungle. But when Sumi kneeled, Yūgao noticed the old stones under the moss, the shapes of a statue long gone.

"What is that?" Yūgao asked confused. "Is that what we were looking for?"

"More or less," Sumi answered, in a futile attempt to put pieces back together.

Yūgao also ended up sitting down, checking a flat stone. She dusted it off with her fingers and blew on it. There was something... she took off her water flask and poured a few drops. "There is something written here..."

"I know. I checked it. It is too old to read the characters," Sumi complained, more focused on reconstructing the tiger's shape. Was this a paw or a tail?

Yūgao shrugged but something seemed off. She tugged a loose strand of purple hair behind her ear and in a low voice, she tried something. She felt stupid for it, for it was a crazy theory, so she whispered 'Kai' so Sumi would not hear her.

In a blink, she dispelled the illusion that condemned the statue to look like a useless relic and they saw with amazement how the stones in their hands became pure gold and they were surrounded by the precious material that shone majestic under the moon's reflection.

"What the..." Sumi's eyes were wide as she started to laugh. "What is this? What did you do?"

Yūgao felt guilty. "I am sorry. I don't know."

"Wait," Sumi started to gather pieces quickly, moving them around as she fit them like a puzzle. She finished looking at Yūgao and the piece in her hands. Yūgao put it in the hole and they read the characters that had become clear as quill strokes.

_'Two tigers cannot share one forest'_

"What does that mean?" Yūgao asked.

Sumi bit her thumb's nail. "I have no idea."

"Are we looking for a treasure?" Yūgao asked, eyeing the quantity of gold at their reach.

Sumi shook her head. "No, I am looking for a friend. And he could be in danger, so let's go," she said standing up and walking away.

"Where?"

Sumi pointed at the ground. "Wherever these footprints take us."

Yūgao looked closer. "Are these lion paw marks?"

Sumi smirked. "No, tiger's."

The trail started at the statue's remains and went deeper into the forest and as they advanced, the sounds abandoned them, building a tense quietness around them.

"Maybe we should wait tomorrow morning to continue," Yūgao reasoned.

"No, I need to get there fast."

And they did not argue anymore. A few meters later a wooden wall ended the track. It extended in the tree's cups and they could not see where it ended. What was a wall doing in the middle of the forest? How was even such an enormous structure standing straight? The girls checked its sides and behind but there was nothing.

"Maybe it was part of a building?" Yūgao proposed. "Kai!" she tried.

But nothing happened.

"Wait, it's not a wall..." Sumi's hand caressed the rough wood. Its dark mahogany color was rich in reds and oranges. Her fingers found a line, a crack in the middle, all along its length. "It is a door."

She tried to peak through the gap, but she could only see darkness. If she tried from the other side, she saw the same.

"Look," Yūgao suddenly exclaimed.

She was pointing at a high point, where they could glimpse a spot of white. They looked at each other, confirming the inevitable, and they gathered chakra in their feet to climb the door. The trek was long and Yūgao stole glances down from now and then.

"It is a seal," she said when they finally stared at the fragile paper. "What do you think it- Wait! What did you do?!"

But before she could finish screaming at Sumi, who had just peeled off the seal with a swift movement of her arm, the surface under them started to tremble violently, opening with a roar. Both girls ran down as fast as they could and Sumi grabbed Yūgao's wrist to jump down, landing with an ungraceful roll to the ground, the grass and leaves cushioning their fall.

Panting, they shared a brief look. "Now what?" Yūgao asked, trying to stand up but wincing in pain. Her ankle had taken badly the fall.

"Are you okay?" Sumi said as she helped her up.

Yūgao tested her leg and nodded, but she walked with a slight limp. Sumi peaked through the door. Nothing special, forest and bamboo. She tried a tentative step in and when she did not set any trap, she went in.

Yūgao followed. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know. My friend should be somewhere here." How was she supposed to find Haruki? She tried to remember a clue in her dream, but found none.

"That way," Yūgao said confident, and Sumi raised an eyebrow. "I can feel a source of chakra that way."

Sumi then realized she knew little about Yūgao. She was probably the sensory ninja of their team, but lately she had just been following Kakashi's orders without much thought into it.

"I see something," Yūgao said during their hike. She pointed a finger to a clearing, and Sumi remembered it from her nightmare. And like on it, there was something lying down...

"Wait!"

A hand grabbed her elbow and pulled her to the shadows behind a big bamboo shot. Sumi started to complain, but Yūgao raised a finger to her lips in sign of silence. Sumi wanted to scream, to tell her that there was no time, that they were too late, but then she felt the ominous presence that made her blood freeze in her veins and a cold sweat run down her back.

Both girls, trembling, hiding behind the vegetation saw the dark shadow pass by, covering the moon's light with its big shape. They held their breath and only when it was far enough did Yūgao let go of Sumi. Despite her previous resistance, it seemed her feet were no longer responding and she had to take several deep breaths before to go out in the open.

The sight broke her heart and she fell over the prostrate form of Haruki. Blood smeared on her cheek and it mixed with her tears. She remembered the little cub, the happiness of seeing him come back, the battles together, the comfort his fur provided when she had no roof over her head, the games they played, the years together...

She heard a low growl, his chest reverberating and making the sound pass through her body with a satisfying vibration. She looked up and saw Yūgao placing her glowing hands on Haruki.

"What are you doing?" Sumi asked.

Yūgao did not look at her, focused. "I will heal him enough to move, then we should find cover."

Sumi rose, scanning their surroundings. "Agree."

And with great joy, she saw Haruki try to stand up after a few minutes, and then manage, and she hugged him tightly, and he hugged her back, passing a heavy paw over her shoulder. And then, she hugged Yūgao and the girl smiled and hugged her back. And for a second, they forgot their problems, where they were, the repercussions they were sure their actions would have, the danger lurking and the tiredness.

Then Yūgao felt to her knees. Sumi tried to check for wounds, but Yūgao just smiled and told her, "I think I used most of my chakra healing your friend."

Sumi nodded. "Let's go get cover and rest."

She passed Yūgao's arm over her shoulders so she could help her walk and led them to a spot where to set camp. Haruki laid down, still breathing heavily from his wounds, and Sumi set Yūgao against him before to make a small fire and join her.

"You did not tell me your friend was a tiger?" Yūgao said dryly but with a smile.

"You didn't ask," Sumi answered, closing her eyes. It had been such a tiring day...

"Why did you let me come with you?" Yūgao suddenly asked.

Sumi opened an eye, then closed it again. "I guess I did not want to do this alone." Pause. "Thank you."

Yūgao smiled. "I see now why you and Kakashi are friends. You do both protect your friends."

Sumi chuckled. "I guess he would like to hear that."

Yūgao switched softly on her spot. She had never sat against a tiger - hell, it was the first time she saw a real one - and she was scared to trouble him. "You two are childhood friends, right?"

Sumi glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Am I under interrogation, Yūgao-san?" The girls laughed. But then Sumi sobered, "We are. He is partially the reason I am here, why I choose the shinobi path."

"To be with him?"

Sumi hit playfully her arm. "Don't make weird stories, Uzuki. He was an Academy student when I met him. I decided to become one too when I saw what being a ninja meant."

Yūgao stared at the moon. "And what is that?" she whispered.

"For me, it is protecting those I love," Sumi answered, peaking at Haruki and then back at Yūgao. "And you? Why did you join ANBU?"

Yūgao shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I want to improve my techniques and it looked like a good place to learn. I got to meet a lot of interesting people here, like Kakashi-senpai, you..."

Sumi blushed. She did not feel her name fit in the same category than Kakashi's. But she nodded. "When we are back, maybe we can train together a bit. I must say I slept through my medical nin courses."

Yūgao laughed. "I can see that," she teased.

Sumi smirked. "Be careful or Haruki and I will dump your sorry ass here."

"You won't be able to find your way back to Konoha."

They cracked up.

"At least it would give me time to plan how to face Kakashi's fury when we go back. I am sure he will sulk about this," Sumi commented.

Yūgao snickered. "He does sulk. I remember that time, when we were on a mission and I got bitten by a wasp. And it was so painful that I screamed and blew our cover. I had never been bitten before and then..."

And both girls spoke all those conversations they had not for the last six months. And between laughs and giggles the pain and fatigue were forgotten, muted by the calm snoring of Haruki.

And when the moon retired to let the Sun reign, they started to trek back, knowing each other a bit better, filling their silences with animated exchanges.

"Why do you think he came here, Haruki?" Yūgao asked as she led them back to the giant door.

"I think it's as the sentence in the rock said. '_Two tigers cannot share one forest'_. I think he came here to fight the other tigers in the forest. Tigers they are solitary animals. Sometimes they don't handle well others in their territory," Sumi explained. Then she scratched her head and laughed, "But those are just my suppositions."

Yūgao smiled and pointed at the door. It was still open! They ran to it, happy to be out of this strange forest and impatient to reach Konoha - maybe they had not noticed their night adventure yet.

"Yūgao?" Sumi called, her eyes big and her hand shaking.

"Yes?"

Sumi pointed at the ground, where enormous tiger paws disappeared into the forest and direction to Kusagakure. And with horror, they understood that the seal in the door was not to keep intruders away, but to not let something out.

"Two tigers cannot share one forest," Sumi whispered. "People are in danger."


	26. Second scroll: together

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

They were running so fast through the forest that they could barely keep track of the trail they were following. Sumi was on the lead, for she was the healthiest of the three, Yūgao, Haruki and her.

The first rays of Sun had a hard time passing through the foliage, but they started to warm up and Sumi felt the sweat drops in her forehead.

"There he is!" she pointed.

They could see the beast from behind, slender, a mass of muscles twice Haruki's size. Its fur was a bluish black and you could barely see the dark stripes over it. He had some scratches along its sides, a remainder of his last fight.

They launched immediately an attack, confident in the advantage of their ambush. Sumi leaped from a high branch, but as she fell down on the animal, it turned its head towards her and those red eyes pierced her resolve. In that second of hesitation, she landed in the ground a few meters from him, paralyzed.

Yūgao did lunge at him with her katana, aiming for an accurate blow, but the tiger, despite its huge size, was fast and with a movement of a paw he sent her flying into a tree.

Haruki was next and both animals circled each other before engaging in a dance of claws and fangs and growls that shook the earth.

Sumi could just spectate, frozen by fear.

"We need to do something!" Yūgao exclaimed when she reached her side. "Sumi! Sumi!" She took her by the shoulders and shook her. "We need to help Haruki! He cannot do it alone!"

Alone. Was that true? All these years she had just been repeated Haruki's solitary nature, the same fact that made him turn heads, its ruthlessness, symbol of its dishonor. Had she just taken that for granted? Were they right to think impossible to fight alongside? A lonely killer, but maybe he was more than that...

Sumi grabbed Yūgao's arm. "I have a plan."

Haruki fought for his life. It was a second chance not many others had and he did not - could not - fail this time. But the other tiger was bigger, older, a king not willing to give out his power.

Nobody had ever given a proper name to the other tiger, but he had heard human's call him a beast, a monster, a nightmare... They had come to his forest and build their cities, and when he had protected his territory, they had defended and with the force of their sheer numbers, they had locked him away, so the world was no longer his hunting grounds. Humans had defeated him because they had faced him together.

Suddenly, a projectile hit the ground between both animals, separating them, and smoke spread over the battlefield. He tried to use his other senses than vision; he could hear the steps of the girls, smell the blood already spilled. But before he could pin point the location of his enemies, a flash of orange stripes jumped towards him through the smoke, claws at the ready. He lashed out and the other tiger was dragged through the ground, a big slash in its chest. Then, it went out in puff of smoke and Sumi stood in its place, blood flowing from her wounds.

And she was smiling. Why?

He turned in time to see the real Haruki leaping at him from behind. It would not work, he thought. He was bigger, faster, older. He prepared to strike back, but the ground under his paws trembled and in a blink, the stones grabbed at his legs and even pulled him. He was bigger, and faster and older, so why was his strength not enough to break through?

Behind him, Sumi used all the chakra that now flowed through her, that sweet rush that came with her almost fatal wounds, to keep the beast in place. And it was not easy feat. But she managed to keep her Earth release technique so Haruki could finish off this fight. Then, only then, she fell to her side, exhausted. But just like agreed, Yūgao was fast by her side and started healing her.

Through half-lidded eyes, Sumi saw Haruki stand proud over his defeated adversary. The black beast's dark stripes seemed to climb up Haruki's legs and cover his body in moving shapes of unexpected beauty. She must have been hallucinating, for she would also have sworn that she saw his yellow eyes glow green, the same jade green of another tiger that had come to her saving before...

"I guess we did it..." Sumi said with a cough. She could feel Yūgao's hand easing away her pain.

Yūgao was frowning, sweating away her effort. Such deep wounds... "Your plan worked."

Sumi chuckled and regretted it, as her chest moved pulling at the closing slashes. "I have sadly fallen for a similar strategy many times before."

Yūgao smiled too.


	27. Second scroll: autumn

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

212... 222... 223.

Kakashi entered room 223 in Konoha's hospital quite angered, but the feeling faded when he saw her lying in bed.

Sumi's face lighted up for a brief moment, and then it was replaced by apprehension. "If you have come to scold me..."

He took seat in the chair next to her bed. "Why would I?"

"I went against your orders, dragged another kunoichi with me, risked a diplomatic conflict by entering another country's territory uninvited, released a giant tiger spirit that wanted to destroy our world, got myself hurt and out of duty for at least a month... I don't know. Take your pick." She finished by blowing a strand of hair out of her face. She had been mostly sleeping these last days and her hair was in need of a comb.

"You protected your friends," he said.

"Is that enough?" she asked. Since when had he become so wise? It was true that even his voice tone had changed; they were no longer children.

"It is for me."

Two weeks and a half later Sumi checked out from the hospital. She could not stand it anymore and her incessant begging had convinced the doctor to let her go early.

Kibo was delighted to have her back, but the feeling was not shared by all.

"I am not against her staying with us despite being an Ikoma, but her behaviour is tainting the name of our family," Matsu Inoue spoke loudly, as if it would bring more authority to her words.

"I am against her being treated like a Matsu daughter," Matsu Sae interjected. "That was decided without the family's choice."

"I think she used to be a nice kid. It was nice what she did in Kusagakure. But maybe now it changed her," another woman piped in and the room erupted in murmurs and smaller conversations.

"Silence," Kibo ordered, but her voice did not carry the same might than it used to.

She knew she was in a weak position, due to her relation with Sumi. She had guessed this treatment would undermine her leadership before, but she had not expected to be faced with a full frontal attack like this. Several women had asked for an assembly and she could not deny. After all, it is people that give power to their rulers.

The Hokage had decided to keep Sumi and Yūgao's 'adventure' discreet. Not many people knew what had happened and those had been told to keep quiet about it. However, there was a general rumor that fed the gossiping women at the market or at the Academy that they had broken several important rules and got away with it.

"I think we are getting carried away by baseless conspiracies and theories. We should stay away from falsehoods," she told the mob.

But it only angered them further. She was losing her touch...

"Are you calling us liars?"

"Why don't you tell us the truth?!"

"You won't be able to protect that girl forever!"

A voice rose over the dissonancy. Matsu Yūu. She was respected in the community; her three daughters were top students. "What I think we all mean is that how do we know that you are still putting the interests of this family first? You clearly have a predilection for the girl. Would it have been any other of us that broke the rules would you have been so lenient? We are simply bothered because now the other families are spreading nonsense about our respected family. We don't want to see Matsu's honor tainted..."

"Um... Actually-" Kibo was interrupted.

"What are you all doing?" Matsu Sachio stood up with difficulty. "Are we really going to punish a young girl for her bravery? For protecting a friend? Would we be happier had she stayed, avoided the conflict and waited safely in her room? Yūu, you speak of Matsu, but what do you know? Hell, what do I know?" She planted firmly her cane in the tiled floor. "But I am sure Matsu would not have bothered with what other clans said. Did she care when they criticized that she had children out of marriage? That she refused a kami? That she out spoke lords and masters alike? Would Matsu have cared, she would not have been the hero in our tales. And we need heroes, not role models," she added, glancing quickly at Matsu Yūu's perfect daughters.

Then she turned to Sumi, who had kept her head low to keep her emotions at bay. "Times have changed since I was of use to this family, but if someone is still willing to listen to an old grumpy lady, I can tell you I see courage and I see it in her. That's all I had to say."

And nothing else was said.

Without notice autumn arrived and brought peace again in Sumi's life. The days were lived happily, in company of friends and those that took her as family. And one year later, someone new entered team Ro. His name was Tenzō.

"Tenzō... He is a bit weird, no?" Yūgao whispered to Sumi.

Since their trip to Kusagakure's forest together they had started a strong friendship and it was usual to see them together. Their range of skills together made it that they were often sent in duo to do small missions.

"I don't know," Sumi smiled. "I think he is quite funny."

Yūgao took a bite off her sweet dumpling. They had been training and when the others' turn arrived, they had gone to grab some food. But now they were back and they watched as Tenzō practiced his Wood release on Kakashi and anybody that would dare to try. Which was mostly Kakashi.

"His techniques seem quite useful," she said.

Sumi nodded. "It is quite impressive. Makes us look like amateurs." She laughed.

"Yes, I hope I can train to be at their level."

Sumi glanced at her. "I think even if we are not, as long as we work hard and give it our best, we will be okay."

Yūgao smirked. "You start to sound like that Guy. You shouldn't spend so much time around him." She paused. "Anyways, I have found someone that is going to train with me in kenjutsu."

Sumi raised an eyebrow and whistled. "Girl, I am going to have to find myself a new technique or I will fall behind all of you."

Yūgao finished the last dumpling in their shared box. "You have Kakashi," she said, mouth full.

Sumi nodded, "I am sure you will do great with your new sensei."

And Yūgao left then Team Ro to meet the only love of her life.

Those were some of the happiest moments of Sumi's life, a period that blissfully extended over years. And almost without notice, autumn after autumn, she turned seventeen. And although Kakashi still kept a darkness in him that neither knew how to handle or erase, they shared many moments that she cherished. The walks, the hours training, visiting places, going on missions... it was all perfect.

"Aaaah, I am sooo tired," she complained, stretching her arms and her back. They were back from a three-day mission. Sumi and Kakashi walked down the empty streets, a testimony to their lateness. "I really want to be back in my comfy bed," she smiled, "I am going to sleep tomorrow the whole day!"

He laughed. "Then we should do our report now. I will hand it tomorrow morning."

Her eyes lighted up. "Would you do that?" He nodded. "Then, let's go."

She grabbed his hand and dragged him to a ramen bar, but the loud voices of those singing karaoke and the drunkards fighting did not let room for paperwork. They went out again, the dark night illuminated by the aging lamplights.

He looked a few streets away. "My apartment is not far..." She hid her blush under her coat. "We could just fill it quickly." She was making him uncomfortable.

She ended up nodding, feeling the butterflies in her stomach throw a goodbye party for her sanity. She had been here before, as a spirit, but she had never confessed that to him.

He hurried to tidy up a few loose items, excusing himself for the mess. She thought her room alone was worse. He took off his metal protectors, she decided not to. The tight-fitting shirt under did not cover enough the womanly shapes she had not grown used to yet.

Once he had cleared the table, he brought a chair from his desk. The lack of sitting places showed his solitary upbringing. She sat shyly, receiving part of the tedious papers to fill and they both fell into a tense silence only broken by the scratching of their quills. Her eyes traveled from time to time through the room, examining the futon in the floor, the dishes drying in the kitchen, the picture of three friends where ghosts outnumbered the living...

Until her stomach grumbled in protest. "I am sorry," she muttered. They had not eaten in the whole day, rushing to reach Konoha back before the end of the day.

He chuckled, but then his stomach rumbled too. He made a face. "I will find something to eat."

He walked to the kitchen and checked several cupboards. He was out of groceries again... He sighed, finding some noodles fast to cook. After fifteen minutes of experimental cooking, he emerged with two bowls in his living room. And he found Sumi sleeping over the table. He worried she would drool over the papers. Nervously, he draped a blanket over her shoulders, careful to not wake her up. She looked happy, he thought, and it made him smile.

Then he finished the report and went to bed.

Sumi woke up with a start. Something had woken her up. She looked around confused - where was she? Then she saw Kakashi panting in his futon and remembered. She felt embarrassed but he seemed suffering, so she laid the blanket that covered her on the floor next to him and sat.

"A nightmare?" she asked.

"It's nothing."

"I have watched you before, when we were out in missions," she confessed. "Memories haunt you?"

She knew the answer. She had also seen how much time he spent at the memorial.

"It's without importance."

She hugged her knees. The light escaped through the curtains. "If one day you want to speak about it, I have time. Don't hesitate." He nodded slowly. "I will do my best to help you."

He looked at her and she held her breath. "I know."

Sumi had tried to sneak in the residence, her house, guessing that Kibo would be busy somewhere around town. However, as she half-opened the paper doors that lead to the living room, she closed them immediately after.

Someone cleared her throat loudly and she had no other option than to step in.

Matsu Kibo received the Hokage as best as she knew. With no special treatment except the respect a man of his courage deserved. It was not disturbing to see him at the Matsu residence: he was their leader, the one they answered to, so the warrior women felt proud when he visited.

They both stared now at a sheepish Sumi.

She bowed. "Nice to see you, Sandaime."

"Nice to see you too," he answered amused.

"Good morning, Sumi," Kibo said pointedly.

"Good morning, Kibo sensei."

"Excuse my apprentice. She must have just come back from a mission. Right?" Kibo smirked. Sumi lowered her head and nodded. "Come sit with us. There is tea."

Sumi fetched a cup and poured herself the hot beverage. She listened to the talk of the adults, trying to soak in the wisdom in their words, the life lessons you could only get if you paid enough attention to their light-hearted chit chat. Then, when their cups were empty and the liquid in the kettle cold, the Hokage asked to speak with Sumi in private, so they strolled through the residence.

"You have been serving well this village, Sumi. I am proud of you," he started and she felt a wave of anxiety cross her body. "I came here with a proposition for you." He smiled. "I want you to become ANBU squad leader. Make your own team. Team Ro is a great asset and I am sure your own team will become one as well."

She chuckled. He raised an eyebrow. "I cannot," she simply said.

He scratched his chin. "Are you sure?"

She closed her eyes and nodded.

"I see. Until the next time then," he greeted.

She sighed when he left and sank against the wall.

"You spent the night with Kakashi," Kibo commented from her side. Her arms were crossed but her expression was friendly.

Sumi straightened. "We arrived late," was her excuse.

Kibo chuckled. "If that boy doesn't act quickly, he is going to lose you. You won't wait forever that he makes up his mind."

Sumi squirmed. "Kibo..." she complained.

Kibo cackled. "Come on, I have seen you both dance around each other for years now. You are a promising girl, Sumi. You cannot burden your future waiting for no one." Sumi looked down so Kibo squeezed her arm in affection. "Let's go. You must be starving."

That day, that single decision she took on a whim, had consequences out of her understanding.

Yamagata Seitaro left Team Ro instead to form a new squad and 11 years old Itachi Uchiha filled his place.


	28. Second scroll: spring

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Spring was upon them again and she had more flowers now to choose from to offer Matsu in her new shrine. The light crossed the windows pristine and hit the glorious new marble statue. It was bigger and more imposing.

Sumi hesitated before she lit up the candles and the incense and she focused her chakra to call forth the woman it represented. She knew Matsu would not appear unless she wanted to, so she waited with impatience.

She heard a low growl and jumped when she felt the caress of a ghost in her shoulder.

"You called me?" Matsu, leader of the Matsu clan, asked.

Sumi bowed and sputtered nonsense. Maybe this was a bad idea. "I... um... I need advice," she blurted.

"I hope my wisdom can guide you. What is that you wish to know?"

Sumi glanced at the spirit. "I... how do you deal with amorous feelings?"

Matsu, in her 400 years of afterlife, was for once out of words. Her eyes grew wide and took a step back. "What-why do you come to me for _that _advice?"

Sumi averted her eyes to the side. Definitely a bad idea. "I thought you were the wisest... and I had not many other options."

Matsu sighed. "You've grown bold. Anyways, my advice is always the same. Be courageous. It always pays off to be brave." Sumi nodded. "Follow your instincts. It worked for me, at least." She sauntered back to her statue. "Good luck. And by the way, stop with the purple flowers. I hate that color."

Sumi pursed her lips.

Matsu's words did not take away the flutter of excitement that shook her body when she thought of Kakashi. It had become unbearable, a hindrance to her work. For sometimes he stood close to her and she could feel his body heat and she flustered. Other times he touched her, brief innocent moments when he would place his hand in her back to guide her, or in her arm, but that they set her on fire. She sought the contact, counted the chances, fantasized with taking it further. Especially at night, her hormones got the best of her and she dreamt of becoming a woman.

Sumi sighed as she lighted another candle and called to her world another old friend.

"Hime!" Chizuki's bubbly voice resonated in her ears. "Wait, no, Sumi was your real name. Sumi!"

Chizuki held the same childish body Sumi had long outgrown. Those were easier times, she reflected. "Chizuki, I need your help."

Chizuki sat down cross legged in her own tomb stone. "Of course, Sumi. You should come visit me more."

Sumi laughed apologetic. "I will try." She turned serious. "Listen, how do you know if a boy - a man - you like likes you back?"

Chizuki clapped excitedly. "You like a boy! How is he? Does he have dark hair and dreamy eyes? I think you would fit with someone like that. Like the heroine of a book falling for the brooding hero. Wait, but maybe there is another guy in the mix. Someone caring that takes away the pain that-"

"Chizuki," Sumi interrupted her. "What do you do in these situations?"

Chizuki pondered. "I guess the easier would be to just ask. But never do that!" she exclaimed. "It needs to be him that makes the first-step. That it's very important. I read a book where a girl confessed her feelings and she was turned down. It only works if the guy comes first and kisses you and declares his love."

Sumi frowned. "And how do I do that?"

Chizuki's face closed in thought. "I guess you could put yourself in great danger... or make him jealous..."

Sumi shook her head and stood up. "I see... I need to go now."

"Will you come visit me again?"

Sumi nodded.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Sumi walked then to the Nara district, trying to find a door she had since long not knocked.

"Sumi?" her sister Chiyo asked surprised. "Come in, come in. How have you been?"

They had not spoken in four years. "Good and you?"

"We are good. I don't know if the others told you. I am waiting a baby!" she exclaimed with a big smile.

Sumi's face lighted up. "That's great news! Congratulations!"

Chiyo guided her to a simple living room and offered her tea. Sumi made small talk until she found the courage to address the reason of her visit. "Sister, how do you find love?"

Chiyo blinked. "Well, it finds you!"

Sumi played with the cookie in her hand. "And what do you do when it does?"

Chiyo smiled, "You accept it."

Sumi raised her head and both sisters shared a lost connection. "Thank you," she whispered, blushing.

"Sumi," Chiyo called. "You know my door will always be open for you. I know we had our differences in the past and that mother..." Sumi nodded. "But now I am going to be a mother," she caressed timidly her belly, "and I understand things that I did not before. No child should be alone. So I will be here for you."

Sumi felt a tear roll down her cheek and she wiped it fast. Ninjas do not cry.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up and came nose-to-nose with Kakashi. The setting sun casted oranges over the riverbank, where she had wandered in her way back home. In this light, his hair looked whiter and his eyes sharper.

She took the advice gathered to heart: courage, foolishness and trueness.

"Kakashi," she paused, committing to her memory the attractive lines of his face, "I think I love you," she whispered. Her heart stopped.

She saw emotions she could not read pass by his eyes. He took a step closer. His hand reached out and she wanted to lean into it but he tugged a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His breathing quickened and hers stopped.

"Are you sick or something? You say weird things," he joked, deciding for both of them what to do with her feelings. "I will see you tomorrow?"

Before she could answer, he walked past her. He had to, so she could not see his troubled sentiments. Because for once in their lives, she had the courage, the foolishness and the trueness needed that he lacked.

First she felt stupid and she took a day off to turn that emotion into anger. Who was he to ignore her affection like this? But her anger was a fleeting fire that lasted only a few uncomfortable days. After, she just hoped to regain normalcy, the happiness she had impulsively risked.

Only it was not there anymore. The days passed and she wondered why she was eating alone again, walking alone again, training alone again, crying alone again... He kept himself busy with Itachi and she was left alone to wonder if their friendship was over so easily.

"Sumi, remember what we spoke?" Kibo spoke during dinner. "You have been awfully absent these days. Is everything okay?" Of course Kibo knew what was wrong, but she needed the girl to open up.

But as usual, she got a forced smile and a head shake.

"I need you to think about it, because I am leaving in two weeks. There are a lot of preparations to make," Kibo insisted.

Sumi pushed her chair back, scraping the floor. "I am not hungry anymore," she excused herself from the table and left.

She knocked on his door with a confidence she discovered anew. It was late and he was already dressed to go to bed. "Sumi?" he asked confused. There was something in her eyes that did not fit.

He wanted to offer her to come inside but she spoke first, "I am leaving in two weeks," she blurted.

His eyes widened and she could see the sharingan reading her expression. "What?"

"Kibo was offered a high position in the Fire lord's guard. She asked me to come with her," she paused. She forced the rest of the words to come out, "If you cannot... if we cannot..." She sighed. "You know what I ask - I need - from you." Her hand rose on its own accord to land on his chest, but she stopped it and it just ghosted over between them. "If you cannot give it to me, just let me go," she pleaded.

He took her hand to stop it from trembling. He wanted to tell her to not leave, please. To explain her that he was healing, although he did not know if he would ever do. A fleeting thought even crossed his mind, to kiss her and end this problem. But instead he let go of her hand. "In two weeks," he repeated.

She nodded. She left.

He watched her. Then closed the door and leaned against it, his gaze on the ceiling, his thoughts elsewhere.

If only he could be equally courageous, foolish and true to himself.


	29. Second scroll: love and hate

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Author's note**: thanks to Konsla, vain-gl0ry and Fra0408 for their reviews! We reached the end of the second part and soon onto the third and last scroll :)

* * *

"Should we not do something?" the first man asked.

His peer shook his head. "We cannot. We must not interfere like that in the world of the living."

"But she is going to leave," Sakumo's ghost pointed at the carriage being charged. Kibo spoke animatedly with the women helping them, while Sumi glanced around her.

Hachiro's ghost nodded. "It looks like it. Maybe that's what she needs."

Sakumo scanned the horizon. "Maybe Kakashi is going to come soon. I am sure he will. He won't let her leave."

Hachiro patted his friend's back. "We must accept their choices. We already did ours."

They watched the last trunks being charged in the coach. The horses neighed in protest to the weight. Sumi bit her lower lip.

"Are you sure about this?" Kibo asked her for the umpteenth time.

Sumi's eyes searched for someone that never came. "I am. Let's go."

The carriage left a cloud of dust when it left for the capital. The spring flowers were being scorched under the sun. Sumi left behind 20 years of her live and the love of her youth. Yet she felt content that during those years, they had each other's backs. She did not regret, she had done her best.

The scenery changed around them as they traveled, but Sumi felt no excitement in this new adventure. Kibo stole glances at her, worried. But eventually Sumi gave in at the amazement and she gaped at the tall buildings of the Fire Country capital. And she saw the Matsu warriors, their backs straight and proud, as they guarded the peace. They wore expensive suits of intricate patterns, the metal protectors shining golden over the crimson tissue. They patrolled with their lionesses, symbol of their status.

"I am sure you will like it in here," Kibo smiled.

Sumi shared a common room with other fifteen Matsu warriors and she was barely given time to settle before they dressed her in their uniform and called her to the training area of the luxurious barracks. The complex was bigger in itself than the Matsu district in Konoha. She was pushed into the arena and a girl her age stepped forward.

"Show us you deserve to be here," she simply said, accepting the naginata that an assistant offered her.

Before Sumi could understand her situation, the other girl thundered towards her and defeated her. Sumi could barely move with the heavy metal plates.

Her opponent smirked. Her mouth was too big to call her pretty, but she had a magnetic presence. She looked at Kibo with disdain. "As I thought."

It was the beginning of a personal hell, a self-inflicted penitence. It was hard to fit in and Sumi did not blame them: she was not really from their clan, she paraded with a tiger, she had been recommended by Kibo, she grieved...

She realized her mistake that first day and she missed Kakashi all the rest to come. When she was beaten in training, when she ate alone, when she was assigned the patrolling turns in the worst neighbors, at the worst hours... Kibo was no longer there to protect her; in her new position as _hatamoto_, as officer, she had new duties that required her attention. She was also housed in another part of the village.

Then, one good day, she felt the armor a bit less heavy. And after weeks, her taste got used to the new dishes. And she no longer felt the hostility of the first day. And a year passed and she had not noticed it.

In a deja-vu, the girls led her to the arena where Matsu Takeko waited for her with her big lop-sided smirk. "Show us why you are here," she said while she accepted her naginata.

Sumi narrowed her eyes and this time, when the naginata swept from side to side, she crouched. Her long braid flew over her head and the weapon sectioned it. Her hair settled wildly around her face as she avoided Takeko's strikes until she found an opening and she kicked the naginata out of her hand and punched her to the floor.

Sumi's eyes widened in horror and she bowed, her forehead to the sand. "I am sorry, Takeko-sama."

Takeko wiped the blood from her mouth and grinned. Her apprentice helped her to her feet. "Do not be. And get up the floor, silly." Sumi looked up. "We are equals now."

Sumi rose and glimpsed the hair still braided on the ground next to her, the ring clasp still attached. The one that Kakashi had gifted her a life ago. She squared her jaw. Then she walked over it towards Matsu Takeko.

Takeko placed her hand on her shoulder. "Welcome to the pride, Matsu Sumi."


	30. Interlude: the real Matsu Kibo

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Matsu Kibo had loved and lost. She reflected on this as she overlooked the young generation training from her new office in the capital. If she was where she was today, it was thanks to this sacrifice.

When she was twenty-one she had to take the most painful decision of her life and she had sent away the only man that had truly loved her. But also Matsu had denied the love of a kami, and she knew that to become somebody, she needed to focus on her career. So she witnessed bitterly how her friends married and had children. The only regret in her life.

So when she had taken Sumi in, she was thankful to the gods for granting her only wish. She experienced then the motherly love she had negated herself. And she had tried her best to be a good mother.

She smiled at the memories. Trying to cook together but ending up having to order food, the advice given, the grocery shopping that always ended on ice-cream, the re-decorating together the house in which Kibo had grown dull...

It had been easy at the beginning, when Sumi was a summer child of big curious eyes and playful spirit. She was exactly how she had imagined her daughter to be. But as the girl grew, Kibo realized that being a mother was not the easy task she pictured. The insecurities, the mistakes, the fleeting feelings that loomed to waste her life... No, Kibo would not allow Sumi to miss the chance to become the woman she saw in her.

She had secrets now that she was willing to carry until her last day. She had lied to Sumi, to protect her. She had not been offered this new position in the capital; Kibo had asked for it during two years until she was accepted. Because she knew that meanwhile Kakashi was near Sumi, she would never achieve her potential. She would not allow her daughter to fail her future.

Kibo poured herself a cup of tea, smelling it before wetting her lips, tasting the bitterness.

"Is Sumi home?" Kakashi had asked her now months ago. Five days before they left.

"She went out to buy some tea leaves. We ran out of it," Kibo explained. She knew why he was there. She was after all a good observer and tactician.

Kakashi looked nervous, which was unlike him. "I will wait for her then."

Kibo frowned. "You are going to ask her to stay, right?"

He met her eyes. "Yes," he whispered, with tight fists.

Kibo shifted on the door frame. "I want to ask you to reconsider." She sighed, it hurt her like a knife what she was about to do, but she had to. For Sumi. For her daughter. "These last years, you have just pulled her back. You know she will always put yourself first, even if that means turning away opportunities." Kibo gritted her teeth. "As long as she is with you, she will never flourish. You are a hindrance in her life, and you know it."

He played with the marble in his hand. It definitely looked like a cat's eye. "I want her to be happy."

Kibo placed her hands in his shoulders, pleading, "Then let her go. You will never reciprocate her feelings. Do not be cruel and let her leave." His eyes fixed the ground. "If you care for her, you will let her come with me to the capital. Do not be selfish... please," she finished in a murmur.

His head hung low when he nodded twice, but until the horses kicked and the carriage started moving with Sumi and her inside, Kibo's heart did not rest.

Kibo had lied and she hoped Matsu would forgive her, but there was nothing a lioness would not do for her cub.


	31. Third scroll: silence

**Author's note:** thanks to vain-gl0ry for the review!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

_The worst prison is one made of the heart_ \- Chinese proverb

Their mission had taken them longer than expected. It was at least B-ranked, after all. They had not expected to fight missing-nin Zabuza and his companion Haku. They entered the administrative division tired, hurt and hungry.

Kakashi could not hide his surprise when out of the corner of his eye he saw a long forgotten face. He had to double check.

"Are you okay?" the Hokage smiled to himself.

Kakashi recovered, handing in the paper report he had filled on the way. "We had some issues, Hokage-sama," he sighed.

The Hokage passed the papers to his left and the girl that received them frowned. "This will make the paperwork double!"

"Did you hear that, old grump?! We fought super powerful guys and saved-"

Kakashi dragged Naruto out of the office by the collar. Sasuke and Sakura followed. "I forgot my wallet," Kakashi lied and went back inside, leaving his students confused.

Naruto snorted. "What an idiot! What did he take out his wallet for?"

She set down her quill when he entered and stood up. "I am taking my pause now. Be back in thirty minutes," she announced.

He followed after her outside.

"Your team looks nice," she threw over her shoulder.

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, they are okay. I have a girl that only thinks about romance, an angst-y boy that only thinks about revenge and the loudest, most obnoxious kid in the village."

She laughed. "I would not expect less from you." She flopped in the trunk overlooking the Academy's grounds.

"So..." He stood awkwardly. "You are back."

She picked a rice ball. "I am," she said with her mouth-full and a content sigh.

"Got tired of the capital?" He surveyed the playground.

"Something like that," she answered, focused to put away the bamboo shoots.

"Are you going to stay?"

"I think so."

"Is Kibo-?"

She shook her head. "She stayed in the capital."

"So you took back your job in the administrative branch?"

Her head snapped to the side to look at him, her short hair hitting her cheeks. "Is this an interrogation, Kakashi?"

"Well, you know this is not how I interrogate. Although if you want..."

She punched his leg.

He laughed softly. "It's been... seven years."

"I am sure you are full of stories," she said softly. Suddenly appetite avoided her and she closed her lunchbox.

"I am sure you too," he said, trying to mask the awkwardness.

Silence. A chubby bird sung loudly on a branch over their heads, unaware that he was out of tune.

"So you are just a teacher now? Got tired of ANBU?" she asked with a hint of malice.

He scratched his head. "I have enough on my plate as a teacher. I got released of ANBU after what happened with the Uchiha..."

She nodded. "I read about it. Just the unclassified reports."

"Right."

Another heavy silence fell between them, as a wall that none had the strength to climb. Their eyes searched in the still innocent children playing outside the simpler memories that none of them could evoke anymore. In that time, seven years felt like an eternity and they didn't recognize each other.

She took a deep breath. "I think I am going to head back."

"Right."

He saw her leave, for once out of smart remarks. She did not even give him time to tell her that he was happy to see her again. No, an uninvited silence ate away their words, turned them into strangers, changed their years together into waste.

It had been already two weeks since she came back, but she felt the tiredness of the trip just now. She threw her apartment keys in a bowl and sat in a chair, contemplating all this new silence in her life. It was the first time she had a house to herself. It did not have the perfection of her childhood home, or the conviviality of the one she shared with Kibo. It did not have neither the liveliness of the Matsu barracks in the capital, where you could never find yourself alone. Or in silence.

She sighed. It was oppressing almost.

But she had made her bed, so might as well lie on it.

She had so many ideas for her rental apartment when she first arrived. Re-paint the walls to her liking, get a new kitchen table, buy decorations for the walls, change the curtains... Yet it had been two weeks and she had done none of it. Something told her she would never do.

Maybe she could get a cat... and turn into the crazy cat lady. No, thank you. She chuckled.

So she did what any coherent person would do. She changed and went out for a drink. And to her luck, she crossed many familiar faces. It amazed her how Konoha had barely changed in these years, yet she felt as a foreign visitor.

"Sumi?" a voice called from her back.

She did not need to turn to know who it belonged to. "Naoko?"

The sisters embraced tightly, forgetting that they were bothering passersby by standing in the middle of the street.

"You look good," Naoko finally stepped aside. "The short hair suits you."

"Thank you," Sumi blushed. "How are you? God, it's been so long..."

"Sadly yes," Naoko admitted. "I am sure you have so much to tell. I know I have. Come, let us find a shop where we can talk calmly."

The shop was no more than a little tent adjacent to a ramen bar. They ordered food and drinks and sat around the only clean table left.

Sumi sighed. Where to start?

Naoko had less trouble. "You are lucky. I had just been visiting mom. We would not have crossed otherwise. I don't live in Konoha anymore."

"What? You moved?"

Naoko smiled brightly. "Yes, I moved away when I married."

"You are married?!"

Naoko laughed. "I am indeed. You are the last one, Sumi. Still single?" She pulled out her tongue playfully.

Sumi chuckled. "Forever single."

"What are you doing in Konoha? Visiting?"

Sumi shook her head, took a sip of her liquor. She grimaced. It was stronger than the watered down drinks in the capital. "I left the capital. I'll stay here."

"For a while or...?"

"I won't go back to the capital. I cannot anymore. Once you leave the Lord's guard, you cannot go back," she explained.

Naoko gasped. "You did not like it?"

Sumi pursued her lips. "I loved it. But I felt... mmhh... let's say, less useful there than here."

"So you are going on missions again?"

Sumi decided to finish her cup and serve herself another one. "No. I am back at the administration."

"Like father..."

Sumi nodded. "Like father."

The kept a moment of silence for the dead. But it was not uncomfortable; it was a silence of mutual accord and respect.

"So where do you live now?"

"It's a little village not far away."

"How is your husband?" Sumi asked, but she meant _'Did you choose who you married_?' and _'Did you marry out of love_?'

Naoko defended her choice and she seemed truthfully happy, so Sumi continued inquiring about her new life over the hot meal and the several drinks they shared. She tried to keep the conversation away from herself; Naoko did not need to know everything. She was a simple woman, those details did not concern her. Sumi avoided speaking about their mother too. She belonged to another time she had moved from. A bit like Kakashi.

And when their conversation ended, the streets were empty and silent, so both girls parted with a hug and a promise to seek each other back.

And when Sumi reached her apartment, she minded a bit less the silence.

So she did the same next day. And the next. And each time she crossed familiar faces from her past happy to see her back. And they helped fill her silence. Anko, Kurenai, Guy, Komori... And sometimes she got to meet people she had before overlooked, like Asuma, who now seemed close to Kurenai. Sometimes she did not even need to speak, content in just listening and learning new things. About them, about the village, about their students, their missions... With time, they learned to avoid certain topics, like life in the capital, Kakashi or Kibo. She never forbade them from it, but the change in her expression at their mention deterred them from testing those waters.

It goes without saying that sometimes she did cross Kakashi. Konoha was after all only a village. Would she had been in the capital, she would have known how to spend the rest of her years without seeing his face. But this was not the case. In these instances, they knew better than to share a knowing glance. Disinterested him, proud hers, with a shade of a smug smile. And this kind of reduced interaction was fine by her. It was what she needed, indeed. For anything else was too dangerous, too much of a risk to let those walls she had built down. And somehow, it was scary too. The easiness she had now to be unaffected, trained with effort through the seven years.

And they continued this dance until a sunny day, a simple day like any other. She had decided to go for an early refresher with Anko. They were both off for once the same day. And the weather was magnificent. They had to enjoy it from a terrace, sipping on something with a drop of alcohol to celebrate their youth.

"To single life," they had toasted as they sat down.

Now, two glasses empty later, Anko left the table with the promise of a third round.

Sumi accepted only if she could pay the fourth. Anko laughed.

Sumi chuckled, feeling already a bit light-headed, but the tipsiness abandoned her as well as her smile when someone else approached her table.

Kakashi set her drink in front of her and sat with his.

"Where is Anko?" she asked curtly.

"I paid her three rounds and told her to come back when she is finished," he explained.

Sumi sighed. Anko was a lot of fun, but once started on something, she was hard to follow.

"So..." he started, enjoying this moment a bit too much, "You did have a reason to come back."

She raised an eyebrow, played with her glass. "And you are going to tell it to me."

He smirked under his mask. "You are after Orochimaru."

She chuckled. "Who told you?"

"Guy."

"Damn it," she muttered and took a sip. "Of course he cannot keep a secret to you."

"Don't be hard on him. I might have helped him to spill the beans."

She rolled her eyes. "So?"

"So?" he repeated.

"Big secret is out. Why are you here?"

He grew serious. "To tell you it is a bad idea. Even my eleven year old dim-witted students would notice."

"You think I didn't know that already?"

"Then to tell you to drop it."

"I can't go back. I already made up my mind."

She finished her glass and he pushed his along the table towards her. "Then don't do it alone. It is a pretty stupid plan, so at least, share it. "

She considered his words. She could share her info, take advantage of his skills. Would she have been sure he was still the shinobi she left behind seven years ago, she would not have hesitated. His talent, his skills... She was on a dangerous quest not for glory. She did not want to die trying to defeat the big bad guy by herself. But then, as she stared at the man in front of her, she felt with an unfamiliar person. He was just running around with kids these days. Was he still the ninja she used to look up to?

She avoided these thoughts. "What do you care anyways?"

Yes, confrontation was easier.

"Time's up, Koganosuke," Anko slurred as she tapped his shoulder. It was a forced silence in this case, as he rose and left. Anko pfff-ed at his exit. Somehow, she had come back with her hands full of dango. "You want one?"

Sumi shook her head.

"Mood killer," Anko mumbled.

And they fell in silence.


	32. Interlude: Miyamoto Musashi

**Author's note:** thanks to vain-gl0ry for reviewing!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Miyamoto Musashi was not his real name. He had gone by other many too. But it was the name he had taken up when he was sent to his uncle to be raised as a Buddhist at the age of seven. He held a special fondness for it. So that is how he introduced himself to Matsu Kibo.

It had been his seventh attempt to be met by some authority in the capital and he had used all his best ruses to get to her. Now she glared at him behind her massive wood desk. Some of the finest artisans had crafted beautiful images on it, mostly lions, like the one that growled behind her master. Two other women guarded the still open door behind him; a sign that this meeting would be brief and disagreeable.

"Why should I believe this intricate story of secret organizations, forbidden techniques and old missing nins?" Kibo scoffed. "You mean to tell me that you found out about all this by yourself too? A simple vagrant?"

Musashi looked down at his dusty clothes. They witnessed his many travels. The long sword and katana he carried were spotless, in contrast. He stood nonchalant, unintimidated. Despite the hardships of his life and the many battles, he was still eye-catching, with the skin tanned by the journey and the unconcerned hairstyle. "Do not overlook the message for the messenger. Dark forces move around our world. People are in danger."

"You do not come from here. What are your intentions in the Land of Fire?"

"I told you. I came to warn you. I am no spy. Just a traveler."

"Those swords tell otherwise. You are a sword for hire," Kibo disputed.

He smirked. "We do what we must to survive."

"Are you looking for protection, then? Money?"

"Did I ask for any of those?"

"You waste my time, scoundrel," she argued. "Leave before I ask my guards to escort you out of this nation. Do not bother us anymore. I don't want to see your face again in the palace's grounds. Or else." She raised an eyebrow to ask if her message was clear.

Musashi smiled and bowed before to leave.

"Wait. Wait!" a voice called after him as he stepped out of the luxurious building.

He turned. It was one of the guards. She was easy to remember; her black hair stood out in the amalgam of blonde and strict faces. And the beast next to her, that tiger, it was majestic. He stopped at the gentle shadow of a silver birch tree. Its leaves danced as silent wind chimes with the soft spring breeze.

"Sorry to bother you," the girl spoke timidly. "Something you said caught my attention. You spoke about a man called Orochimaru."

"I thought your boss was uninterested in what I had to tell."

She shook her head. "She doesn't want to hear any of it." She had tried to convince Kibo to listen, but she had dismissed what she thought conspiracy theories from a tramp.

"Are you allowed to? Do you have any power over this?" He asked.

She shrugged. "I am not forbidden to listen. Forget my uniform. I want to know more as Sumi."

He sized her up. Musashi had met a lot of people, so he had developed a good eye to read people. It was a necessary skill for his type of life. He smirked and nodded. "I am Miyamoto Musashi. Let's find somewhere calm to speak, Matsu Sumi."

Musashi lodged in a geisha house. It was a good deal, he had shelter, food, drink and company. And if he played well his charm, sometimes for free. These areas were also ideal to find hot-headed idiots to duel for a few coins.

It was a district Sumi knew well, for she had patrolled it many times some years ago. But she had never entered any of its deprived establishments. As soon as she crossed the threshold, her armor caught the eye of nervous patrons and customers. She tried to not cross their eyes as she took a table with Musashi.

"Why would a simple guard be so interested in this man?" Musashi asked as he wiped the table with his sleeve and started placing papers on it. It was his journey writings, covering unimportant details, such as what he ate or what women he bed, to countries' secrets pried from dying men's lips. Sumi made a quick mental note; his calligraphy was pleasant. This man was no ordinary bum.

She took a paper with a familiar name on it: Orochimaru. "He took something from me that I want to get back."

"I hope you don't mean your virtue. A few of the women here can explain it to you. It doesn't come back," he joked, winking at that delicate flower that had kept his bed warm.

Sumi was crisped. "He stole a family technique. Something he should have never learned."

Musashi nodded. "I am always up for a little revenge story." He opened wide his bag and slammed a volume of papers over the others. Hundreds of pages of disorganized writing. "I hope you like reading."

Sumi sighed. Paperwork. No matter how, it always came back to her.

It was a trial to her commitment that Musashi did not think she would undertake. But she kept on coming back to the pleasure house, to pour hours on those sometimes badly scribbled characters. Dark bags drew under her golden eyes, like the lines adorning the cat's. He brought her tea and sometimes conversation. He wanted to know more about her, to learn.

"This is beautiful," she said, holding a paper against the light.

He saw the sumi-e, the small bird perched on the dead tree. He took it from her hands. "It must have gotten mixed." He put it back on the bag, with the other paintings.

Yes, little by little, like the drops that fall steadily until they make a hole in the rock, Musashi had shown himself as he really was to Sumi. Not only the carefree wanderer, but also the extraordinary sumi-e artist, poet, philosopher, laborer, musician.

His work was by now on piles. She had categorized and divided each page, each sentence. She had sometimes had to tear paper apart, but now she was done. Six piles lied between them.

"This is your life," she pointed to the biggest pile. "These four are your teachings, the craft of war" she said.

"No. The Five Rings. It misses one," he interrupted her.

"I only found four."

"The last one it's still to be written."

She nodded. "And this, this is what I need." She took the smallest pile, the one with all the relevant info he had uncovered.

"What are you going to do with it?" he asked.

She leafed once more through the papers. She knew the decision she had taken, but she was wary of carrying it out. "I am going back to Konoha."

He chuckled, poured two drinks and sat next to her. Their room was somber, the natural light had trouble to filter through the window behind them as the Sun went down. A man moaned loudly in the room next door and they could hear a fight down the street.

"Your boss is gonna throw a fit," he commented, tasting the sake.

"Kibo cannot let her feelings in the way of her work. She knows it too," Sumi explained. But she felt the heaviness in her heart.

"Are you not going to miss your life here? I think you cannot come back once you leave."

She looked down at her cup and sipped it. She had grown used by now to the harsh burn down her throat. "There is what I want to do and what I must do."

"You know I don't agree," he said.

"I understand your principles, but I am still bound to mine. This is how I have been taught."

He scoffed. "You shinobis, always willing to sacrifice... I say, do nothing which is of no use. Why don't you come with me instead? We can continue this investigation if you want..."

Sumi looked up to him, sought the warmness in his intelligent eyes. His expectant smile disappeared. He looked vulnerable now. She understood his beauty, the attractive of his freedom. What was being offered. He was tempting.

She took a deep breath, almost ready to change her mind. "I cannot let what I love be destroyed."

"I understand," he whispered. He finished his drink and placed the empty porcelain cup amongst the four piles of paper. Then his hand rose to her cheek and he placed his lips on hers. Softly, delicately, for he knew it was her first kiss and that she would get scared. And as he felt her resolve wager, he guided her lips to dance with his. She placed a hand on his chest and pushed him without determination. He searched in her eyes and he got his answer.

"I understand."

The next day, both left the capital on separate ways. She took the road to her past and he continued his pilgrimage to whatever future awaited.


	33. Third scroll: noise

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

Coordinating a multi-country event was time-consuming and she would have preferred to be occupied otherwise. But Sumi had no choice than to aid her administration co-workers to fill in forms and take notes of meetings and even finances. That day Komuri had called in sick; he was close to his eighty years and the body did not follow anymore the rhythm of the mind. So she took his spot in the meeting to decide which teams of alumni would fight to become chūnin.

When Kakashi submitted his team for the trials, her hand failed a second and the pen ghosted over the paper the time to recover.

"You know the point of following someone is that they don't notice, right?" Kakashi threw over his shoulder, while still reading. The polemic meeting had finished and everybody had been sent off.

A few steps behind, Sumi bit her lip. "I am not following you. I came to speak with you."

"Sorry. You could have done it since five building blocks ago, so I was starting to worry."

She huffed and with three long strides she walked in front of him. With a finger, she pushed his book down. He closed the book, trapping her finger. "I came to ask you to reconsider your team nomination for the chūnin exams."

He smiled. "No, thank you."

She pulled her finger from the book and he panicked when he realized he did not know anymore where he had left it off. "I think you are well-aware that this is a dangerous trial per se, and that there is a chance that dark forces come into play during it."

He found back the page. Phew. "Come on, we also passed our exams during dark times and we turned out just fine."

She snapped his book close with both hands. He lost the page again. "Is that sarcasm?"

"Will you let me read if it is?"

She scoffed.

He resumed his walking, but put away the book. "What information do you have on Orochimaru?"

She sighed, but tagged along. "We have gathered strong intel that Orochimaru is going to need a new body replacement soon. There are also indicators that he wishes to stir conflict in Konoha. Maybe even amongst nations. And that he grows impatient. What a better moment to do this than during the exams?" she resumed, withholding details, of course.

"Who else have you told about this?"

"The Hokage, of course. I might have drunk tell Guy and you figured it out."

"And how did you get all this info?" he asked. They were almost reaching the riverside, where two kids played lamely at who could throw rocks the furthest.

"Unimportant."

He squinted. "From whom?"

"Unimportant," she repeated pointedly.

He let it drop. "Look, let's just see how it goes. What better way than to keep an eye on the exams?" He picked a stone and threw it over to the other side of the river; it flew in a straight line and disappeared in the forest. The kids to their right stared in awe.

She shook her head. "I just-" She sighed. Worry etched in her face. She wanted to confess that she feared that losing his students would finish crumbling him. He, who had lost so much and so many. He looked content now. These concerns she had tried to be indifferent about haunted her sleep. "I think your students are not ready," she said instead.

"They will never be if we don't let them try and fail. That's how we learned."

She nodded slowly. "We did fail a lot."

He chuckled. "Hey, I was about to have dinner with Guy, Asuma and Kurenai. We are meeting before the exams and all that," he explained shyly. "Honestly, I am just tagging along because Guy said that he would pay for us all. Do you want to come?"

She looked at the river as she had done so many times before, but through different eyes. Trial and error, she felt she had already failed in this relationship enough. That's how they learned, didn't they? "No, thank you. See you around, Kakashi."

Only a fool would make the same mistake twice.

"Oh, you brought me soup and dango!" Anko exclaimed as she opened the plastic bags.

Sumi smiled. "I knew you were so busy preparing your test that you have probably not eaten in days."

Sumi was right. Anko had poured her hours last week to set the second test of the chūnin exams. And it had paid off.

"I need to leave in thirty minutes. I guess Ibiki will have finished by then," Anko explained, rushing to grab her part of the meal. "You don't have to be there to count failures and such?"

Sumi chuckled. "No, I have been given days off. I think I will make a quick trip and visit my sister," she lied.

She had actually a mission, the first official one since she came back; an informant had disappeared in Sunagakure and she had been assigned to investigate with an ANBU partner. But she must withhold this information from Anko, as she hid everything she had learned about Orochimaru. Sumi suspected how much their old teacher still affected her friend.

Sumi departed a day after Anko's test started, unaware that the man she was chasing would appear at that moment.

"Ready?" she asked the masked ANBU that arrived at their rendezvous point.

"Sumi?" a familiar voice asked in disbelief.

"Yūgao?"

The mask came off and Yūgao laughed nervously. "They did not tell me you were back."

"I am sorry," Sumi replied. She knew what had happened to their ANBU unit when she left. None of them knew how to feel about this re-encounter. "Well... let's go?"

Their travel route had been set up for them. They would travel by foot until they could catch a carriage in Tanzaku. They would change vehicle in Tani and then continue by foot. Sumi sighted. It would take them at least a week going back and forth, being optimistic.

"Sumi-san," Yūgao called. "That-that's not the right path."

Some things never changed.

"Why did you come back?" Yūgao finally gathered the courage to ask. They were almost at the Land of Wind's border. Their small chit-chat along the way had emboldened her.

"I told you, I got caught in this investigation," Sumi said. The growing heat and the dryness in her throat were good indicators that they approached their objective.

"Sorry, I just thought that you could have simply send the information and keep on your life in the capital," Yūgao reasoned.

"You are overthinking this, Yūgao."

Yūgao chuckled. "It just seems to me that you didn't think it twice before to come back," she commented under her breath.

But Sumi heard her just fine. "What are you implying? What do you want me to tell you? That I came back here because I missed my friends?" Sumi scoffed. "That's just sentimentalism... I am a shinobi, I make decisions based on my duty."

"Was it also your duty that made you leave our team? Is that why you went to the capital?" Yūgao reproached her.

"You had left our team before."

"I left our team after speaking with all of you. I made sure you all agreed. I didn't abandon anybody. I had to leave to become stronger," Yūgao started to walk faster.

Sumi matched her pace. "That's what I did. I left. And I became stronger."

They had reached the small village at the outskirts of the nation. The wind painted dancers with the sand around the empty streets.

"Well, to me, you just became an asshole," Yūgao muttered before she left Sumi behind.

Sumi wandered the streets, where life was animated despite her troubles. Villagers conversed in between vegetables stands. Colorful garments hung in display and rocked softly on their hangers over the head of the bright smiled vendor that proclaimed loudly and proudly to have the best fares.

"You look lost," a woman interpellated her. Dressed in black, her left hand held bags full of rich fruits and her right hand held a child. "Can I help you?"

Sumi smiled. "I am looking for a friend." She searched in her jacket and showed her a picture. "By any chance, have you seen him?"

The woman paused, her dark eyebrows close together in concentration. "You come looking for a friend you cannot remember his face."

"I was sent to find him."

"Yet it seems it is not your only search. You look into the windowpanes to remember your face. Walk with me."

"Nonsense. I need to find this man," she waved the photograph in front of her face.

"Then good luck, for finding something with your eyes closed requires luck." Then she turned on her heels and left with a cheerful gait, the baby gently cooing goodbye.

Sumi shook her head. What a weird encounter. She tried with a chubby man of content smile that ate away at the snacks he sold.

"Another girl came to me with the same question. She looked as troubled as you do," he said instead, while closing the shutters of the shop.

"I am fine!" Sumi exclaimed. "Really. I am fine. I just need to find this man."

"Well, if you look into your heart and find nothing wrong, what there is to worry about? I am sure you will see clearly and find what you seek," he answered cryptically. Sumi sighed, exasperated. Could nobody in this village give a straight answer?

Yet as she walked away from villagers and sellers, their words started to sink into her spirit. Those thoughts she tried to push away. Yes, she lived with a heavy heart, with worry and fears. And this turmoil of emotions, made to flower by simple words from strangers made her seek solace in the big temple that drew over the village a shadow of protection from the incessant Sun.

She crossed the monks that attended to their prayers, and their solemnity inspired her to light up an incense stick and clasp her hands together, in reflection. However, she tried to keep a blank mind, for she dreaded to be carried away by her memories to a time she was vulnerable.

"You seem upset," a voice spoke to her right.

A monk of orange robes lighted another incense stick and bowed to the shrine.

"Everybody seems to think that here," she snorted. "Am I so transparent?"

"Is that a bad thing? Would you prefer to hide who you are, what you feel?" the man replied.

"Don't we all?"

He caressed his white beard. "Well, your life is what your thoughts make it."

Sumi frowned. "Why do you all speak in riddles here? Can nobody give a simple answer?"

The monk laughed. "I do believe life is pretty simple; it is man that insists on making it complicated."

"Well, if it is so, could you tell me if you saw this man?" Sumi showed him the picture. The Konoha shinobi smiled forcefully for the shot.

"Is he lost?" the monk asked.

"Probably."

"People come to this village to find themselves, not to get lost. If he lost his way, he is likely in the desert, where there is no right or left, back or forth."

From the higher ground of the temple, Sumi surveyed the sand vastness around the small village. As if reading her thoughts, the monk added, "The desert is scary, for it is uncertain. Its sands move and change, but it remains the desert. We ought to adapt too, without losing who we are. You come from far, I cannot find what you seek, but I am familiar with these quandaries, so I can guide you if you please so."

She used to not have qualms to ask for help before, but she hesitated a second. "Yes, please. My name is Matsu Sumi."

"You can call me Kin."

Kin guided Sumi outside of the village, through the people that traveled the opposite direction to gather at the temple. She did waver again, when her feet loomed over the golden sand before she took the first step out.

"Are you alright?" Kin asked.

She shook away her doubts. "I am sorry. I don't know..." She sighed. "It is nothing."

He nodded to himself. "You have been taught to not falter, to not hesitate. But sometimes we must ponder to be precise. Sometimes it is okay to be doubtful of taking just a simple step." And to exemplify, he started marching forward.

Sumi followed after, trying to not mind much his words. For an aged man, he moved quickly over the difficult soil. Her feet dug into the sand and her legs started to ache. Her shoe slid and she fell. She cursed under her breath but accepted the hand offered to get her back up.

"How do you manage to walk easily over the sand?" she finally asked the monk.

He smiled. "I have learned to fall and get up many times, so now my feet don't need any more to fail me."

Sumi considered all the times she had failed, and found no greater teaching in those, but along the way, her feet got used to the hardship and she could now walk by Kin's side. She noticed then his eyes were closed the whole time.

"Where are we going, Kin?" she asked perplexed.

"That's for you to decide. I am just the guide. You are the one lost," he answered.

She gritted her teeth. This had been a bad idea. Now they were in the middle of the desert; it was not the time for riddles. She could not glimpse the village anymore. She felt despair and regret.

"I should just have followed after Yūgao..." she mumbled, choosing a random direction, the one in which the wind was less disagreeable on her heated skin.

He caressed his beard. Little grains of sand flew from it. "Why did you part?"

Sumi glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She humored him, "she criticized my personal choices."

"It upsets you."

Sumi pursued her lips. She did not want to speak about it. "She has no say on what I decide for myself. She is being selfish."

"Yet your choices impact others, Sumi," Kin explained. "But I say, it is important to forget injuries, but never forget kindness. If it upsets you, is it not because she is your friend?"

Sumi sighed. "She was."

"Why did you leave her in the past?"

"I left my past," Sumi huffed and picked up her pace forward, leaving him behind. There was a tall dune she wanted to climb; maybe from atop she could find her way back. She used her hands to crawl and tears pooled around her eyelashes as the sand entered her eyes. She panted when she finally stood over the dune. Then she sank to her knees. There was no sign of life around her, only desert. No birds, no water, no insects to bother her, no clouds. Only sand. And Kin, who had been waiting for her up. And a silence only broken by her rugged breath.

"How did you climb so fast?" she asked, exhausted.

"It is easier to move without baggage. You carry a heavy burden. Your past choices, regrets, feelings unspoken, silence..."

Sumi sat more comfortably, let the sand play between her fingers. "I feel my whole life I've been trying to find out who am I. When I was a kid, I was confused by a world with rules I could not understand. I struggled to find my path, what made me happy. When I was a teenager, I thought I depended on the feelings of other people. People that loved me and that I loved. People that wanted to see me grow. Now I am an adult, and I thought I had figured it out. Yet I feel I am no closer than when I was a child." Sumi saw her legs start to disappear buried by the sand carried by the wind.

Kin smiled and opened his eyes. "Life can be akin to a desert. You came into it looking for something. Something you don't know what or well. You have not found it yet, you may never will. Yet along the way, you found other things. The desert drags you down. Yet, it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop and go with all your heart. If not, you may get swallowed by the ever-moving sand."

Sumi considered his words. And somehow, she felt lighter. She was willing to empty a bit her bag, to be able to trek over the desert. She took his hand once again and lifted herself up. She discerned then the vanishing footsteps over the other side of the dune.

"...mi... Sumi... Sumi!" a voice grew over the silence. Sumi squinted and recognized the approaching shape. Yūgao ran towards her, equally troubled by the high dune and the silent wind.

"Now remember," Kin whispered, but she heard him clear, "to be wronged is nothing until you continue to remember it."

Sumi smiled.

"Sumi," Yūgao gasped for air. She grabbed Sumi's arm and moved her away. "What did you think by coming to the desert? With your sense of direction... I was sure you would get lost."

Sumi laughed. "I had a guide," she pointed to Kin. "He has been helping me to find our objective."

Yūgao frowned. "Did you-?" Her eyes grew wide. "You didn't notice. You don't know."

"Know what?"

Yūgao's expression softened. "Sumi, your friend... Kin... he is a puppet."

Sumi gaped. "What do you mean 'a puppet'?"

"Everybody in the village is. Nobody is real. This is a puppet village," Yūgao explained. "Monks at the temple keep them moving, but they never go out of it. If not, the illusion would be lost."

Sumi shook her head. "I don't understand."

"I made some enquiries. The whole village is just a monument to Shi Kin, advisor to the Rai family. Shi Kin decided to go onto exile when Rai Ryu, the young head of the family, cared only about parties and luxuries and banalities. Ryu lost it all. He sought Kin all over the desert until he got back to his mentor. When Ryu found Kin, he had been changed by the hardships experienced in the long journey. He was wiser, nobler, and with the help of Kin, he cleaned his family's name. At Kin's death, Ryu was so heartbroken, he decided to build a whole village as a monument to Kin's teachings. And every villager speaks Kin's wisdom."

Sumi needed a few minutes to process the news. She had been so absorved by her personal struggle that she had failed to identify the lack of humanity in the dolls.

"We must go back," she sentenced.

And as they dragged their tired bodies down the dune, Sumi saw the silhouette of the temple drawn behind a curtain of sand. She could hear clearly the deep gong calling in for prayer.

"You finally opened your eyes, Ikoma Sumi," Master Shi Kin said through the puppet.

Sumi smiled and closed her eyes. She did not need them to find her way back.

"We did not find the disappeared ninja," Yūgao complained as they crossed the empty streets of the little Sunagakure village.

"Maybe we can try asking again," Sumi proposed, as she stared at the back of Kin's head. He seemed in a hurry. "Ey, Kin, where are you going?"

He turned with a gentle smile. "I am sorry. The preparations have been finished while we were away. We are late for the ceremony."

"A ceremony? What ceremony?" Yūgao asked.

"A funeral."

They arrived at the temple, where all villagers, dressed solemnly in black, awaited the monks.

"A funeral for whom?" Sumi asked.

"For a foreigner that was found dead in the desert," he simple answered.

Over the urn, the Konoha bandana made them connect the dots.

"Since we arrived..." Sumi muttered, remembering the black clothes of the woman with the child, the shops closing early...

"We have been walking around with our eyes closed," Yūgao agreed.

"We failed," Sumi sighed.

They fell in silence out of respect, then headed out without saying goodbye. No need to. The teacher had finished its lesson so the students could travel back home.

"I am sorry," Yūgao suddenly spoke up. Despite their mental and physical tiredness, they had no choice but to head straight back and they had a long trip before they could catch the first carriage.

Sumi raised an eyebrow.

"I should not judge your decisions. It is your life and I should not be upset about your choices, even when I don't agree with them," Yūgao explained. Sumi wondered what had happened while they were parted. "I do realize now during years I had imagined how our lives would be and it pained me to see it turn out otherwise. It's so stupid..."

"I am sorry too," Sumi confessed. "I did leave without thinking that my actions could affect other people. I am sorry I did not say goodbye. I did not have the courage, it was cowardly."

"Do you regret it? Leaving?"

Sumi shook her head. "No."

Three days later they arrived to Konoha, tired, defeated, but with a rekindled friendship they realized none wanted to lose. Too bad for them, their fears had been well-founded and Orochimaru had already made his move. Silence had left Sumi's life. It was time for some noise.


	34. Third scroll: sorry

**Author's note:** thanks to vain-gl0ry for taking the time to review!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. I do not own Legend of the Five Rings. No financial gain is made from this. This is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

"You! How dare you?" she screamed at his back.

Kakashi turned around sharply, even looked around to check if indeed Sumi was yelling at him or if by any chance someone else was the object of her ire. No such luck.

She took four long strides to join him and glared at him. "You spoke to the Hokage. You told him to get me out of the investigation to catch Orochimaru," she hissed the last part.

He frowned. "What are you talking about? I didn't do any of that."

"Who else would have?" she spat back. They were lucky most villagers had already retired to their houses for lunch, for she was clearly agitated. "Few people knew about this and I am willing to bet it was you."

"Well, I was not," he answered softly.

She shook her head. "This is useless. Speaking to you is useless. That after all these years, you still control my life..." she scoffed.

"I don't control your life. I barely control mine," he joked. "We can speak calmly?"

"Keep you words," she told him as she walked past him with a fast decided step and he asked himself if she was even looking where she was going. He stared at her back and wondered since when she kept her hair short; he preferred it longer.

"Thank you," a voice spoke behind him. It was an old woman's voice that didn't match the still fresh looks of Hina Ikoma.

He felt a knot in his throat. It was the first time in the twenty something years he knew the woman that she had thanked him. He still despised her.

"For what?" he asked.

"For trying to keep my daughter alive. Sometimes she needs to be saved from herself."

His eyes widened. "You? You spoke with the Hokage, didn't you?"

The woman smiled. "I married one of my daughters to one of his sons after all. It was the least he could do."

"She thinks it was me."

The woman smile turned into a sneer. "Then thank you also for taking the blame."

He chuckled at the joke at his expense and left.

Sumi indeed did not know where she was heading, whipped on by her anger and a growing frustration. But soon her legs started to hurt and her breath had become ragged and she understood harboring such feelings was self-defeating. And as a deja vu, she sought solace in a little Buddhist shrine by the forest, and as the incense's smoke danced before her eyes, Kin's words echoed in her mind and appeased her enough so she could head back home and get a good night sleep. And as the days passed uneventful, uninteresting, her bad temper faded and got replaced by remorse. She replayed their conversation in her mind at odd hours - between filling forms, while she ate alone, before to sleep, walking back home... - and she regretted her choice of words, her tone, not having taken the time to calmly think it through.

She had time to think about his words too. Not only what he had said during their last conflict - which was little - but everything he had told her since she came back. As a result, she started to train again by herself, at night, at her free time and work breaks. As she did when she was a kid. And she found the same mirth and joy and satisfaction that she did back then. She did not need anymore the comfort of others as she relished in the silence of the training grounds, the steady rhythm of the riverbank or the soft song of the forest.

And one good day, not too cold, not too hot, with a soft light and a gentle breeze, he found her training and she decided for once to be a better self.

He was about to leave, turn back and grant her wishes: to let her be. She jogged to him and to quiet her remorse, she said, "I am sorry."

Kakashi found sincerity in her words and unexpected happiness in her eyes. He nodded. "I have seen you've been training," he commented, bringing out his favorite book and acting disinterested.

She smiled and nodded.

He smirked under his mask, his eyes still on the written words he was ignoring. "I have a proposition to make you."

Sasuke felt her presence first. It was a strong chakra, he thought. He got into a defensive stance, for he didn't recognize it as that of Kakashi, who was supposed to meet him there to train. Almost sure he would be attacked from behind, he swung his kunai widely.

"You are also waiting?" a voice spoke. He had been wrong, and she appeared in front of him.

"Who-"

"Kakashi. You are also here waiting for him?" the woman said.

He recovered. "No, I meant, who are you?"

"I am just a shinobi of Konoha." She shrugged. "No need to go around throwing kunais, eh."

"You know Kakashi?" he asked.

"You could say that..." She yawned. "I guess we will have to wait for at least another half an hour before he appears."

She took a seat in a rock and they fell in an uncomfortable silence.

"So...," she said, "You are training for your chūnin test?"

He ignored her and she didn't try again to establish a conversation with Sasuke. Instead, she napped. She had forgotten how exhausting was to juggle training and work in the administration office. Forty-five minutes later, Kakashi appeared.

"Ready?" Kakashi said. Sasuke rushed to take on a fighting stance. "Not you this time, Sasuke. This time I want you to watch."

"That's why you called me here? To help you train your student?" Sumi said.

"I thought I would kill two birds with one stone." He chuckled. "Ready?"

They started circling around each other, none showing any intention of attacking first. "Sasuke, I introduce you to Sumi. She was an old Anbu companion." He stopped. "Oh, what do we have here?" He crouched to examine the ground. "Did you set up a trap?"

She threw then three kunais at him. "I had time!" He jumped back, evading the projected weapons and then a huge boulder swished his way, enveloping them in dust. "So I set two."

A strong arm folded around her throat from behind and pulled her to the floor, but not to Kakashi's surprise, it was just a clone, which disappeared in a puff. From somewhere between the rocks, a shuriken was shot and it reached him, only to show that the Kakashi in the open was also a clone. Having discovered her position, Sumi stepped out from her hiding position, in time to deflect three shurikens. Kakashi didn't gave her a break and stepped out to engage in close combat. Sasuke made use of his sharingan then, surprised by the speed. Sumi was having a hard time to keep up, but it infuriated her further that she knew he was holding back.

"You still hit like a girl," Kakashi told her. She then tried to aim for a high kick, but he grabbed her leg and made her fall.

A big shadow jumped over him, but he had been expecting the appearance of it. He avoided just in time the claws, muscle and fury of Haruki. He stood protective between him and his human companion.

"Long time no see, big pile of cat," he muttered.

Haruki growled and when he leaped towards him, Kakashi was almost expecting a hug. He still remembered taking care of the beast for a while when Sumi was waiting for trial as a child. Apparently Haruki had replaced cuteness by murder instinct. Ungrateful beast...

Haruki roared and the ground beneath their feet shook. A piece of the cliff detached and fell down the mountain slope, testimony to the Earth affinity of the summon. With a slowness bordering on arrogance, the tiger raised an enormous paw and hit the ground, creating a running chasm Kakashi's way.

He understood then Sumi was taking this friendly match pretty seriously and that he would need to take care of Haruki fast. His ninken were not made for battling as Haruki was, but he was outnumbered and in between the dust and saving his skin, he invoked them to the battlefield.

"I don't like the look of this," Pakkun had said.

But the dogs trusted Kakashi's instinct and his plan worked out. The eight dogs played a relentless 'attack from all sides' strategy. Their aim was not to defeat the tiger, but to keep him busy. They bit on its tail, on its legs, jumped on his back and then moved constantly, testing for weaknesses. They were faster and smaller. The tiger lashed out at them, growing annoyed, making mistakes.

He could see her clone with his sharingan and where the real Sumi hid. So he feinted for the clone and attacked the real one instead. But she did not even try to avoid the kunai in her shoulder. He had chosen that spot to avoid vital organs, but the image in front of him was disturbing. How could he have forgotten how she fought? Seven years were too many. He wished she had come back earlier. Maybe he would have made fewer mistakes then.

Her hands gripped his arm with a new strength. The one she got from her family's technique. Matsu's Courage.

He heard a loud growl and Haruki lashed out at the dogs and this time, he sent them all flying away, made them disappear in smoke. Dark stripes undulated in his body. This was new, he thought.

He saw the punch flying his way just in time to throw a kick. None of them landed. Haruki circled around him and he knew he had to finish this fight fast. More damage Sumi sustained, stronger she and Haruki would get. It was useless to drag this out any longer.

He prepared to use chidori, but she showed him a new technique. 'The Lion's Roar' they called it in the Matsu Military Academy in the capital. A technique to instill fear. The closest to genjutsu a Matsu warrior would perform. In such warfare ruthless environment, genjutsu was deemed cowardly. He saw through the technique, but could not avoid that shiver that ran up his spine as he looked into her eyes. Predator eyes. An incoherent fear made him stumble and the strong paw of Haruki pinned him to the ground.

He grunted but quickly thought of a way out. Using his own Earth release technique, he sunk under the ground and he would have laughed at Haruki's surprised expression as he lifted his paw to find him gone. As a cat chasing a red dot, he started to try to follow him, but he had already created several clones underground.

They all jumped out of the ground at once and the chirping of the chidori was deafening with so many clones. She accepted defeat with a smile.

All this time, she had been afraid he was not the same skilled shinobi she remembered, the one she would have followed without hesitation, the genius that inspired her to carve her own path. Now she felt sorry she had ever doubted him. The quick wit, the resourcefulness, the calm, the strategy, the hard-worked talent...

He was just as she remembered.

And with a smile she realized, as much as she had tried to forget him for seven years, she had always kept this image of him in the back of her mind.

As a reminder of who she was and not the person she had been pretending to be.

It was the day of the main event everybody had been anticipating. People of all ages gathered in good spirits on the street and walked excitedly to the arena to attend to the final trial of the chūnin exams. She had a hard time heading against the flow of villagers, and she had received a few elbow blows on her way. But Sumi did not mind, for her destination was occupying her full attention. She was going back to the beginning, to the start point, to finish puzzling back those stray pieces.

The Ikoma district was extremely quiet, void of its residents. They were all of course recording the history of Konoha in its small details, like the results of the chūnin exams or who attended and from where. She had heard other Kages would appear. It triggered her curiosity, but she needed to take advantage of the competition to sneak into her old house and inside the family shrine.

To her surprise, the doors were not locked. Had it always been so? She thought bitterly, remembering she had not visited her ancestors in so long. The statues looked down on her imposing, almost judgmental. She lowered her head in regret. "I am sorry," she whispered to no one and to all of them.

The shrine was spotless. Not a single trace of dust, the soft fragrance of flowers and incense, the whiteness of the statues... It was all ethereal. At this moment, Sumi could believe herself alone in Konoha, the whole village for herself and those that had departed. She closed her eyes and smiled. She put her soul at ease. After so many years...

The doors opened at her back and she jumped in surprise. A gasp escaped her lips.

Hina Ikoma, her mother, stood in the threshold. Sumi could no longer count the years since she last saw her, but she could relive if she closed her eyes and focused enough the day Hina had sent her away, to fend by herself the struggles that destiny kept.

"Please don't go," Hina spoke up when Sumi moved. She obeyed, watched her mother take graceful steps towards the little altar and kneel with the elegance of an empress. "I want to speak to you."

Sumi scoffed. "I do too." She paused, swallowed the knot at her throat that changed her voice tone. "Why did you ask the Hokage to take me out of my investigation?"

Hina chuckled. "So Kakashi told you..."

"He didn't," Sumi corrected her. "I work at the register. We keep track of who the Hokage meets with. I just put two and two together."

Hina smiled. "You became sharper."

"You would never imagine how I have changed," Sumi spat. "Because of you, I had to become sharper."

"If you are waiting for an apology, I am afraid I will disappoint you."

Sumi bit her tongue. "Then we have nothing to speak of."

She tried to leave again, but Hina's hand shot to her wrist and pulled her back. When Sumi turned, Hina had pressed her front head to the floor in a bow. "I won't apology, but I will beg," she muttered to the floor. "Please, let me speak with him once again."

Sumi did not need to ask. Hina wanted to see her husband once more.

"Please, if you have any pity left in your heart for me, grant me this only wish," Hina pleaded.

Sumi sighed and lifted her mother up. She looked into those empty white eyes for the love she had once wished, the love of a mother, the warmth and the protection. Those white eyes that had cursed them both since the beginning of her existence.

But before her heart could make a difficult decision, a loud crash made them snap. A porcelain vase in the garden had been stolen of its beauty. Hina got to her feet, but Sumi held a hand out in a sign to make her stay. She pulled out a kunai silently and peaked behind the door. The garden was quiet, and the flowers rocked softly with the wind. She stared at the vase and a long forgotten memory resurfaced.

Hina walked out and picked the flowers with delicateness. "Don't worry, it's only flowers," she said as she dug a hole in another flower pot with her bare hands, the dirt incrusting under her fine manicure. "Maybe they felt lonely."

Sumi's eyes looked past the flowers, to a point of understanding. Maybe that's why she did not see coming the sand nin that attacked her from the back, like a good surprise attack should be. The kunai in her hand fell and she used her arms to avoid the weapon closing on her neck. She did not anticipate the stab in the left of her down back, but she had prepared already her Matsu Courage technique and breathed in as the chakra filled her body and she sent the man flying over her head. She straddled him to disarm him and knock him out but she was interrupted. In her peripheral vision she saw the sand nin was not alone and a companion closed on Hina. She ran a line of blood across her tight and called on Haruki.

The tiger leaped from nowhere, knocking off any remaining flower pots and maimed the man that had threatened Hina with a sword. Sumi let Haruki to fend off the opponents as she dragged her mother by the arm inside the shrine.

With dexterity she had forgotten, Sumi lighted two candles and an incense stick and called back to the family reunion a simple man's ghost. She did not have the time to see the expression in her father's face as she locked the doors and barricaded the shrine with her mother inside.

"Protect her," she exclaimed.

Un-understanding, Sumi joined the battle in Konoha. But she didn't need many explanations when her loved ones were being attacked. She crossed sand and sound shinobis all around and she feared an invasion. As she moved around the Ikoma quartier, she fended off enemies and tried to send villagers to the safety of their houses. Ikoma family members were not fighters. Luckily, most people had gone to watch the chūnin exams, but some elders, mothers with young children, on duty workers and loners remained.

She smiled when she saw all shinobi fight together to defend their village and even through the pain of the battle she found a great happiness. She found confirmation she had made the right decision coming back.

Yet her mirth was tainted by a question in the back of her mind.

Where were the Matsu warriors during the fight?


End file.
